Just One of the Guys
by SugarLandBabyGirl
Summary: Renji and Saita never considered themselves anything other than rivals and enemies since even before their Academy days. She hated him and he hated her; it was that simple, or was it? Can romance blossom from a deep seated rivalry, or will past loves and pride destroy what could be?
1. Prologue: Proving One's Worth

Prologue:

Becoming A "Man" And Proving One's Worth

"Go back home girlie!" The rough looking crowd jeered as their Taicho kicked a young blonde haired girl into a wall, causing a rough outline of the girl's body to become imprinted into the sand colored wall, along with several cracks from the force of the impact.

The girl looked rather worse for the wear; she had blood running from her mouth and nose and she had several cuts all over her body. The worst was a deep diagonal cut that went from her wrist all the way down to her elbow, the injury was bleeding profusely, but the girl did not heed it. Her shinigami shihakusho was ripped and torn in many places, from the fight. Her once crispy white and red clothing, which she was wearing, was swiftly turning a dark crimson from her blood. Her breathing was ragged and her body was shaking from both pain and exhaustion, yet she had a cold and determined look on her bloodstained features. She was not going to loose, she had to prove her strength to this man. She had to win.

Gritting her teeth, she sucked in air from between her teeth, making a low hissing noise, before gripping her Zanpakuto in a white-knuckle grip and standing from her kneeling position. When she straightened her back, she shot a razor sharp glare at the tall, spiky haired man before her. Who in turn just grinned evilly and readied his Zanpakuto for another attack.

"Heh, you've got guts girl." Kenpachi Zaraki grunted when the girl stood up defiantly and sent him a death glare that would have killed him instantly, if looks could have killed.

"Go back to your Mommy girl!" One man jeered from the crowd, making the whole crowd laugh maliciously at the young girl's plight.

"Go to hell!" The girl hissed angrily, before lunging at the 11th Division Captain again. A look of pure determination etched into her now cold features. Oh how she hated men. They thought she was weak, but she would prove them all wrong today.

Back on the sidelines of the jeering crowd, two of the 11th Division members were intently watching the fight. Both of them held firm looking features as they watched the quarrel. The young bloodied girl had been cut so many times already. It was a wonder how she was still standing, let alone fighting their monster of a captain.

"Ikkaku Senpai, why doesn't the girl just give up and go home? She probably knows that she is going to die and that she cannot possibly win, against Zaraki Taicho. So why?" The spiky redheaded boy asked his superior. Turning around he saw the young girl get sliced across the face, her blood went flying from the cut and stained the ground and the building beside her, yet she still kept on fighting. Perhaps she had finally become numb to the sting of the blade.

"Renji…" The bald headed man started, turning his head slowly he looked at his subordinate with stoic features, before calmly and wisely speaking, "That girl. She has nothing to loose that is why she keeps on fighting. Even if the cost is her life, she won't stop until her power is recognized by someone."

"Nothing to loose, huh?" Renji muttered to himself curiously, before returning his attention back to the gruesome fight.

The girl expertly dodged another swing from Kenpachi's Zanpakuto, which just narrowly missed her injured and bleeding shoulder. She quickly retaliated, swinging her black double-bladed Ronin sword around and making a deep and long cut down the 11th Division Captain's back, to which he only let out a soft grunt of pain. The evil smile was back on his face; it was surprising that such a little girl could damage him so. Perhaps here was more strength to this girl than he originally thought.

From the rooftops of the tall buildings above, most of the Captains and Lieutenants of Gotei 13 watched the fight below. Some were disgusted with the bloody fight and some held sympathy for the girl, but the others just watched on impassively, waiting for the inevitable outcome. For everyone already knew what would happen, the girl who was undoubtedly a skillful fighter, even though she was not properly trained and she knew how to handle her weapon masterfully; still in the end, she would die. The unbendable will she possessed was not enough to beat the monstrosity of a Captain the 11th Division had acquired.

"This is pointless bloodshed of an innocent!" Nanao Ise, Fukutaicho of the eighth Division spoke angrily, as she watched as the young girl received yet another deep slash across her face. The cut had startled her enough for the 11th Division Captain to kick her into another wall. This time when her small body hit she started coughing up blood. She must have had a punctured lung from that kick.

"Yes, I agree someone should stop the fight, before the girl gets killed!" Isane Kotetsu, Fukutaicho of fourth Division agreed. Only to gasp loudly as she watched on, as the girl was suddenly stabbed in her left shoulder. It was clear to everyone who watched that the blade had pierced straight trough the girl's body as Kenpachi's blade could clearly be seen as it exited the other side of the her shoulder, causing more crimson to stain the already blood red soil.

"We should not interfere." Jushiro Ukitake spoke-up calmly, never taking his dark eyes off the fight. Most of his younger comrades looked at him in complete disbelief, but a select few did not even act as if they even heard him speak.

"Why? The girl is going to get herself killed!" Isane bit back angrily, not understanding why they should not stop the fight, which by now looked more like a murder than a battle. However, were they not almost the same thing?

"Because, that girl has a greater chance of killing Zaraki-Taicho than any of us here," Jushiro replied calmly, never taking his eyes away from the bloodied blonde haired girl. She held so much strength for an inexperienced fighter, yet her weakness was going to her downfall. Her pride would get her killed someday, if that day was not this one. It was a pity to see someone so young and innocent, with so much hate in her eyes.

"Look." The 13th Division Taicho pointed, when the girl sharply pulled herself from Zaraki's blade and quickly retaliated to his attack. With a flick of her wrist, she placed a shallow wound across the monster Captain's stomach and quickly back flipped away from the injured man, reading her injured body for another attack.

"H-how is she wounding him so?" Isane stuttered out, completely bewildered at the strength and power that the young girl possessed. Kenpachi was a monster and yet this young academy girl, with only the raw skills of her blade was wounding him. It seemed impossible, but here she was a witness to the impractical.

"You are good, but you will loose." Kenpachi told the girl coldly, before he delivered the final blow. The sickening sound of ripping flesh and the choking sound of someone who had been pierced through their stomach resounded throughout the entire street. The girl had not even seen the tall Captain move, all she had known was that one second he was standing a few feet away from her and the next was the sting of metal and the pain of ripping flesh, as his sword pierced through her abdomen. The whole crowd instantly fell silent as the girl fell, almost in slow motion to the ground; a large puddle of blood already stained the ground beneath her, before her lithe body even hit the earth.

"You fought well. Better than most men, I know… You have my respect, kid." Kenpachi acknowledged through deep breathes, when her hazy hazel-blue eyes met his dark gaze. It was a surprise that the girl was not dead. Most would be after fight him, yet he could not bring himself to finish her off completely; it would have been incredibly easy right now. Yet, a gut feeling kept him from killing her.

"What is your name?" He asked the dieing girl, wanting to know who had caused him such injuries and put up such an exciting fight. _'Just a kid, that's all. Just a talented kid, with hidden power, that's all she is.'_

The girl did not answer for a minute, taking in a shaky and pain filled breath she finally spoke. Her tone was soft and almost child-like, yet her voice held a hard edge that only some one who has experienced the true pain of life could have, "Saita. My name is, Saita." Her voice never faltered or showed the true pain that she was feeling, when she spoke.

This greatly surprised the 11th Division Captain, no one he had ever fought before had a voice like that. Not even Ikkaku Madarame. _'You are truly strong, kid.'_ The 11th Division Taicho thought to himself.

"If you live… you can be in my Division, no questions asked." Zaraki told the girl seriously, before turning around and walking away from the fatally injured girl

Saita glared at the 11th Division Captain's retreating form hatefully, before trying to force her severely wounded body off the ground, with a deep hiss of pure pain. Her wounds were ripping open from her movement, but she did not care. If she fell here and lived or died by the monster Taicho's pity then she had failed. She had trained non-stop since she had acquired her silent Zanpakuto, even going so far as to skip most of her classes, just to learn its name and powers, just to become one with her partner. Power, the power of ones Zanpakuto and oneself was all that mattered.

Everyone in the crowd gasped in amazement, as the girl stood back up, held her Zanpakuto out towards the giant Taicho's back, and coldly spoke, "Where are you going… this fight is not over."

At hearing her voice, the 11th Division Taicho, turned around and nearly choked when he saw her standing and glaring defiantly straight into his eyes. Not one speck of pain could be seen in her eyes, her face was a frozen mask. Suddenly it hit him as to why she had refused to just lay there and die. She held too much pride to do such a thing and her will was stronger than steel.

'_Heh, you're just like me, kid.' _He silently mused to himself with a sly grin. Suddenly, he was glad that he had not severed her head from her shoulders during the fight. She would be a tough fighter someday, a perfect member for his division. The only thing she was lacking was experience and the spirit to kill. She had purposely avoided the chance to take his head, as he had given her the perfect opportunity, yet she had gone for his torso instead.

"This fight is over, tyro. But, if you want to be able to fight me again kid, go get your self fixed up, I won't fight you anymore." He grunted, before walking away. The crowd clearing a path for him, but just before he disappeared, he spoke again, "Kid, today you've proved you self worth to me and… become a _man_." before he completely disappeared out of sight.

A shocked look came to the young girl's face and respect flashed in her hazy eyes, seconds before she collapsed to the ground unconscious. Her body had finally had enough.

"Now you may heal her, Unohana-Taicho." Shigekuni Yamamoto-Genryūsai, General of the Gotei 13 and Taicho of the 1st Division, told the healer woman calmly. She had been patiently waiting for her superiors' word to heal the child and though she was a patient woman, the battle and wait was enough to test her. A child, fighting that monster of a Captain was a hard thing to watch. Retsu had no children of her own, yet her motherly instincts went into overdrive when she saw the young academy level girl openly challenge Zaraki-Taicho. A child, that was all she was, yet there was so much strength within her and pain.

"Hai!" Retsu nodded her head respectfully, before flash stepping down to the wounded girl. Isane Kotetsu, her Lieutenant following right behind the elder woman. The young grey haired Lieutenant silently wondered if the young blonde haired fighter was even alive anymore. Her wounds must have been severe, at least from what the young Lieutenant could tell and from all of the blood that was staining the street turned battleground.

"Well, that was an interesting fight, was it not?" Shunsui Kyoraku, the Taicho of the eighth Division asked no one in particular. He was just curious as to what his fellow Captains and the Lieutenants thought.

"It was a waist of my time." Byakuya Kuchiki, Taicho of the sixth Division muttered coldly, before flash stepping away with Soifon the Taicho of the second Division and commander of the Special Forces right behind him. The always stern and quiet ones, of course they would think nothing of the fight.

"I feel sorry for the kid." Shuhei Hisagi, Fukutaicho of the ninth Division muttered quietly to his Taicho, as they slowly walked away from the bloody scene. All of that blood, her blood was enough to make the dark haired Lieutenant's stomach churn. She was just a kid, a brazen child with potential. Had she chosen to challenge any other Captain, her luck would have been better, but she had chosen Zaraki-Taicho and with that, her fate was sealed. There was no way she could have beaten him, he was just too strong, a true monster in human form. With all of the damage that must have been done to her maturing body, the quiet Lieutenant wondered if she would live from all of the blood loss, or if she would be able to become a Shinigami after that brutal battle.

"Yes, that Zaraki did a lot of damage to the girl." Kaname Tōsen, Taicho of the ninth Division, nodded in agreement to his Fukutaicho's comment.

"Do you think she will live, Tōsen?" Sajin Komamura Taicho of the seventh Division asked his long time friend, as they walked away from the makeshift battleground.

"She has a strong will to live, or else she would already be dead. So… yes, she will live." Kaname told his old friend, before they disappeared from sight.

"She's going to make it, lucky girl." Retsu Unohana sighed thankfully after patching up the girl and healing her injuries to the best of her skills. Saita would still need to rest and recuperate for a while, but she would come out of this battle with no side effects or pain after she was fully healed. Only a few scattered scars would remain, all of the blood that she had lost would keep her bedridden for at least a month and then the recuperation for her shoulder strength would begin. The girl was a fast healer, so she should fully recover from the wound, if the girl did not rip the tendons and muscles in her shoulder while it was still healing.

"She's a good healer." Isane commented quietly, amazed with the child before her, "Her wounds probably won't even leave many scars."

"Yes, I noticed. She is indeed a remarkable child." Retsu muttered quietly, giving the young blonde haired girl a soft motherly look, before gently pushing her Fukutaicho out of the recovery room. Rest was what the young girl needed most and that was exactly what she was going to get.


	2. Chapter 1: Years Later

Chapter One:

Years Later

"Wake up, you lazy ass!" Ikkaku yelled angrily at the still sleeping girl, who had her knee length, dirty blonde hair, put up in a messy bun. He had been trying to wake her up for two hours already, with little success to no success. The fourth seat of the eleventh Division really was lazy and never did anything unless she really wanted too. How she ever made it to the fourth seat still amazed the bald headed man.

"Go away, Ikkaku." Saita muttered tiredly, before covering her head with her pillow and trying to go back to sleep. Saita was never a morning person, Ikkaku knew that, and yet he always made sure to try to wake her up early. He was quite the slave driver, when he had been her Senpai, but he was not anymore and Saita did not listen to him much anymore. Saita knew that the bald man did it simply because he enjoyed annoying her until her breaking point. Strangely it was fun for him, but it did not mean that he did not care about her; his way of showing that he cared was different than most.

Ikkaku growled at the headstrong girl and threatened to pull Hōzukimaru, his Zanpakuto on her if she did not get up. However, his idle threats did not bother her at all. She was much too hardheaded to listen and the fact that she had known him long enough to know when she could get away with being lazy and when she could not was reason enough for her to believe that he would not unsheathe his Zanpakuto.

"Go ahead, Ikkaku, pull Hōzukimaru out. But, you know as well as I that Seijakusenshi and I would kick both of your asses in less than five minutes." Saita growled lazily, sending Ikkaku a blank look, before closing her eyes and pulling her covers over her head, again. It was a bluff and one that she pulled quite often, but still she could fight on even ground with the elder man, on a good day.

"Okay, that's it!" Ikkaku growled, before angrily stomping out of Saita's small apartment, with an evilly sly grin plastered on his face. Saita would get up before noon; he would make sure of it. She might try to scalp him later for it, but the temptation was just too hard to resist.

Saita let out a sigh of relief and sleepily muttered, "Thank Kami-sama, he's finally gone." before happily slipping back into unconsciousness. Unknowing of the evil scheme the bald man had planned for her.

"Saita." A cold voice knocked her out of her sleep like a blade through her gut. Instantly, like lightning her eyes flashed open, she shot up off her bed and quickly unsheathed Seijakusenshi and blocked her shoulder and not one second later a heavy weight slammed down upon her back and a loud clash could be heard ricocheting off her bland colored walls.

"Heh, Saita, I heard that you didn't want to get up." The cold voice chuckled behind her.

"Damn that Ikkaku bastard! He should have fought me himself! Instead of calling you… Kenpachi Zaraki-Taicho." Saita growled, before bolting out of her apartment and away from her psychopathic Taicho, who immediately started chasing after her as she ran for her life. If her crazy Taicho caught her now, she would be in the infirmary for a few weeks and being bedridden with the fourth Division Captain hovering over her like a mother hen was not something Saita wanted.

'_Damn you to hell Ikkaku Madarame!' _Saita cursed the said man, mentally as she ran through the market of Seireitei. Ikkaku Madarame was going to pay for this, she swore angrily. He would not get away with causing her this humiliation. Everyone is the Seireitei was sure to hear about this, even if they did not see it.

"That was clever, Ikkaku… but was it really necessary?" Yumichika Ayasegawa asked his comrade who was snickering as he watched Saita run away from their Taicho.

"Yes, it was. She would have never gotten her lazy ass up, if I wouldn't have." Ikkaku replied with an evil smirk, as the blonde haired woman disappeared into the crowded streets.

"You're right; she would have slept for days if the Captain wouldn't have jarred her out of bed." Yumichika snickered with a similar smirk as his bald comrade.

"Move! Move damn you! I said move!" Saita hissed evilly at the innocent people who were blocking her only escape route, from her murderous Taicho. It would be easy for him to find her in this crowd, even if his directional skills were zero. If she got past these people though, her chances of out running him were a good 98. She just had to make these people move out of her way, otherwise she would be fighting her Captain amongst them and that was most undesirable. They would only hinder her movements, as they were now.

Suddenly, she collided with a large shoulder and was harshly shoved sideways, which made her loose her footing and stumble, but she did not fall. Looking up, her gaze was harsh and demanding, but when she saw who had shoved her, her temper just escaladed as she locked gazes with a tall, sneering, tattooed and red-haired male; apparently, it was not only their personalities that clashed when they were around one another.

"Watch where you're going, baka-onna," Renji Abarai, the newly appointed Fukutaicho of the sixth Division, sneered at the glaring blond haired girl. Before he harshly shoved her out of his way and walked off. He had better things to do than stand in the middle of the street and banter with the blonde enigma. She did nothing but irk him when she was around and he was glad that she was just a seated officer and he a Lieutenant, as he would not have so many chances to run into her.

However, Saita was not having any of it. She was not going to be pushed around like some nobody, especially by Renji Abarai. _'Oh, hell no! You are not getting away with that shit, you damn Mutt!'_


	3. Chapter 2: Arguments and Lieutenants

Chapter Two:

Arguing with the Monkey and Running into the Other Fukutaicho's

"Oi! Watch were you're going, you mutt!" Saita yelled at the redhead's back, with a harsh glare and a disgusted look on her normally placid face. He had really pissed her off, this time.

At hearing the word "mutt" being directed towards him, Renji abruptly stopped dead in his tracks and slowly turned around to face the offending blonde haired woman. A murderous look upon his hard features as their glaring irises clashed. If there was one thing he truly hated, it was her insults. She had many insulting nicknames for him, but that one was the worst. That one caused his blood to boil and his temper to snap.

"What did you just call me?" Renji growled lowly, angrily at the scowling blonde haired woman, who had just insulted him.

"Oh, sorry I didn't know you were deaf mutt. Here let me tell you again…" Saita mocked with a dangerous smirk, before yelling at the top of her lungs, "Watch where you're going you stupid mutt!"

"Oh, if you weren't a female," Renji growled, his fists clenched in a white-knuckle grip around his Zanpakuto's hilt. Renji could feel the blade pulsing, almost pleading for him to unleash an attack at the girl. Forcing himself not to give in to the urge to kill the annoying woman, Renji reluctantly removed his iron-like grip from Zabimaru's hilt and began to turn away from the irritating woman. It would not be worth loosing his position, as much as he wanted to hurt her at that moment; it just was not worth it.

"Oh… I see now, that's why you won't fight me anymore." Saita muttered thoughtfully, before lazily mocking the sixth Division Fukutaicho, "You're afraid that I'll defeat you in front of your asshole of a Taicho and he'll think less of his new Fukutaicho. Isn't that right?"

Saita paused for a brief second before continuing on, but in a more spiteful, angry and disappointed tone, "But let me tell you one thing. That Taicho of yours doesn't even acknowledge your existence. After all, he's just a stuck up noble who thinks he's better than everyone else… and yet you still want him to acknowledge you, how pitiful; How disgustingly low of you to want his approval. When people like us are far better than he will ever be. I thought I knew you once mutt, but now I see you're just a stray dog, pining at a Noble's feet, begging for food and approval, but he'll never acknowledge that stray dog. I'm disappointed in you mutt. I thought you would never beg at anyone's feet, but I guess I didn't know you were such a coward. You're not even a man anymore, not when you beg at a Noble's feet or seek for their approval." She finished harshly, hoping that her words had cut him deeper than her blade ever could.

After, reprimanding the redheaded Fukutaicho, Saita just walked away. He was not worth her time anymore, not when he was pining for some bastard Noble's approval. Which the Monkey, had never needed, he had never needed anyone's approval, never not in all of the years Saita had known him. No, he was far better than all of the clans of Noble's in Seireitei were and yet, he never saw it. He only saw that he was an orphan from the 78th Rukongai District. She was an orphaned street rat too, only she came from the 79th District. That was only one of the two differences between them.

'_What have you become, Abarai? What does that Noble have that you desire so much, as to pine for his approval and acknowledgement, so?' _ Saita wished that she knew the answers to her many questions. Renji was not a hard guy to understand, to her at least. Maybe it was their similar pasts, or maybe their time as rivals had caused them to understand one another better then they themselves ever could.

Renji just stared at where Saita had been; her words had struck a cord in him, but what he could not quite understand was why she had seemed so disappointed in him. It was like she had just been let down by a most trusted friend, when he wasn't even close to being even an acquaintance to her, he was just a rival to her so why?

'_You've changed Saita. It's almost like… you care for my well being…' _Quickly dismissing that absurd thought, the sixth Division Fukutaicho just grunted irritably, before he continued on his way towards the sixth Division barracks. Where his Taicho was waiting for him, they had a new assignment; or rather, he had a new assignment.

'_Kami-sama, what I wouldn't give for some action! I'm so bored!' _Saita mentally grumbled as she walked around Seireitei. It had been three hours since her run in with the mutt and already she was itching to do something, anything, to get her mind off the mutt. With whom she had been disappointed in, but why should she? Hell it was his life, let him pine at some Noble's feet; he was not her responsibility, so why did she care? By all rights, she should not even care if he fell off the face of the earth, let alone care if he was lowering himself to get a Noble's approval. Yet, she did care.

'_Maybe I need to sleep some more? Yeah, that's it Ikkaku bastard didn't let me sleep enough, that's why I'm acting so strange. All I need is two more hours of sleep and I'll be fine.' _While she was lost in her thoughts, Saita did not notice that she was just about to be tackled from behind, by her Fukutaicho, Yachiru Kusajishi. However, just seconds before the pink haired Fukutaicho went to grab a hold her, Saita did a swift back flip and Yachiru just narrowly missed the blonde haired woman's back and almost stumbled into a wall.

"Hey Sai-Sai-chan!" Yachiru waved happily when she looked up at the scowling blonde haired woman, who had her arms crossed, with her eyes narrowed into small slits. Yachiru did not even take notice, but she knew better than to try to piggyback, now. Saita had made it very clear the first time they had met that she hated it when Yachiru had tried to do so. Yet, she did not stop trying, though she only tried when the blonde haired woman was unaware of her presence.

Saita just grunted and rudely asked, "What do you want, Yachiru-Fukutaicho?"

"Oh, I was just wondering if you have seen Ken-chan lately. I haven't been able to find him since this morning." Yachiru smiled happily, but her eyes told Saita that the small Fukutaicho was missing her Taicho, a lot. The little girl seemed to truly love that blood lusting lunatic of a man.

"I haven't seen him since two maybe three hours ago… he's probably lost, go find him." Saita told her small Fukutaicho, before walking around the pink haired girl and continuing her no-destination walk. She was just walking, not really having any particular destination in mind; she would go wherever her feet took her.

'_Kami-sama, who am I going to run into next… the dick-less blonde Lieutenant or Lieutenant balloon-boobs?' _Saita snickered quietly, smirked and rolled her eyes at the ridiculous thought. Her luck could not possibly be that bad. After all what were the chances of running into more than two Lieutenants in one day, unless there was an emergency.

"Ohayo, Saita-chan, what are you doing here?" The soft voice of Momo Hinamori the Fukutaicho of the fifth Division asked politely, making Saita stop dead in her tracks and swear quietly. Her luck was bad today.

Looking to her left, where the voice came from Saita saw that a few of the Fukutaicho's were there, excluding the Mutt, Yachiru, Chojiro Sasakibe, the Fukutaicho of the first Division, and Nemu Kurotsuchi Fukutaicho of the twelfth Division. The eighth Division Lieutenant, Nanao Ise; the seventh Division Lieutenant, Tetsuzaemon Iba; the fourth Division Lieutenant, Isane Kotetsu and the second Division Lieutenant, Marechiyo Ōmaeda were also absent.

'_Damn! What did I do to deserve this?' _Saita grumbled miserably. Saita was not the "buddy-buddy" type of girl and even though she did not mind hanging around a few of the Lieutenants, most of them she would prefer to avoid, for her own personal reasons.

"Heh, I was just walking around, what are all of you doing here?" Saita grunted, but spoke in a mildly polite tone. After all, the young Fukutaicho had always been nothing but nice to her, so why should she be a rude bitch in return? The fifth Division Lieutenant was a rather naïve girl, but she was one of the kindest people that Saita had ever met.

"Oh, we were just visiting. You just missed Renji-san." Momo, told Saita with a sweet smile.

"Actually, I didn't. We had a run-in about two hours ago." Saita told the young Fukutaicho with a small scowl at the memory of the earlier encounter, between her and the redheaded monkey.

"Oh… did you two fight?" Momo asked rather sadly, which had always made Saita's insides churn. She did not like the fact that Momo Hinamori was always trying to patch things up between her and the mutt, but she did not tell the young girl that because she did not want to hurt her feelings. The young Lieutenant vaguely resembled a younger sibling, in Saita's mind.

"No. We just more or less fought this battle with words instead of our Zanpakuto." Saita grumbled, walking a little closer to the group and leaning against the wall; safely distancing herself from the small group of Lieutenants.

"Why don't you take a seat Saita-chan? We have room." Rangiku Matsumoto, Fukutaicho of the tenth Division spoke up after a moment of silence. The top-heavy, wavy blonde-orange haired woman was a little more than lazy at times or rather all of the time, but Saita was a complete mystery to the whole of Seireitei and everyone, including herself wanted to know about the always-vague young woman.

"No thanks, I've gotta be somewhere." Saita replied in a semi-cold tone, before shoving herself off the wall and started walking away.

"B-but you never sit with us, Saita-chan." Momo muttered sadly, but Saita heard her and sighed irritably before sucking in a deep, calming breath before she turned around and walked back to the crowded table and sat down in-between Shuhei Hisagi and Momo Hinamori, without saying a word.

"If you had something important to do then we won't keep you." The young Fukutaicho muttered sheepishly. She had not meant to keep Saita from whatever she was going to do. Nevertheless, the elder woman had always avoided hanging around with her and her friends, even when she was invited.

"Nah, I can do it later. So can I have a drink?" Saita asked the scared Lieutenant, with a raised eyebrow and a blank look.

"Sure." Shuhei said while handing Saita his second cup of Sake, which Saita immediately chugged down in one gulp, which caused everyone at the table raise his or her eyebrows at the young blonde haired woman. No one had known that she could gulp down alcohol that quickly and not get dizzy or drunk.

"Heh, you must have been rather thirsty." Shuhei muttered with a soft snigger, before sipping his own cup of Sake, in a slow, polite mannerism.

"Yeah, I was." Saita muttered as she reached over, grabbed the half-full jug of Sake, and poured herself half a cup, sipping this one instead of chugging it. She had a rather high tolerance for alcohol, but she was not going to take chances today, especially with her crazy Taicho searching for her. If he caught her drunk or buzzed, she was in trouble. So it was better to be safe, than sorry.

"Yes, running from your Taicho must be quite tiring." Shuhei spoke up deliberately loud enough so that everyone at the table could hear their discussion.

Saita immediately stopped sipping her Sake and sent the older man a glare before swallowing what she had in her mouth and speaking in a dangerously dark and low tone, "Yes, it is. However, I was not in the mood to fight Kenpachi-Taicho this morning, so instead I ran. But when I find that Ikkaku bastard, I'm gonna rip him a new one."

"Oh, why is that?" Rangiku asked with a teasing smirk and a quirked eyebrow. Rangiku rarely had the chance to talk to, let alone tease the younger woman.

"Because, he was too much of a coward to fight me himself," Saita growled quietly, trying to calm her temper, while gripping her cup tightly, making it crack under the pressure and causing Sake to start leaking from the cracks. The big-busted woman had hit a nerve and Saita was restraining herself from lashing out at the Lieutenant.

Everyone looked at Saita with both eyebrows raised, then to the broken cup and back to the scowling blonde-haired woman, who just vaguely apologized before excusing herself and walking off without a word good-bye. Apparently, the big-busted Lieutenant had angered the younger woman quite a bit.

"Did I say something wrong?" Rangiku asked perplexed at Saita's sudden leave. The big-busted blonde haired woman, looked at everyone at the table and then to Saita's retreating form. She had not meant to upset the younger girl that much. All she had meant to do was tease and pick at the humorless young woman a little bit. It was only supposed to be some harmless teasing.

"I don't know." Momo muttered quietly as she sadly watched Saita disappear into the crowded street. Momo had always thought that Saita was lonely and wanted companionship, yet something was always holding her back. Momo had once seen Saita completely unguarded and the heartbreaking look in her eyes was one that made the young Lieutenant no longer fear the older woman. The rumors that she had heard about the blonde haired woman being heartless were nothing but lies. Saita was not heartless; she just guarded her heart with her very life.

"No, you didn't do anything wrong Rangiku-san. Saita-san is just angry about this morning." Shuhei told the wavy haired orange-blonde woman reassuringly, before refilling his cup of Sake. Shuhei was probably one of the very few people who just took Saita's temperamental outbursts and constant disrespect in stride. Nothing she did ever fazed him, as it did to almost everyone else. Saita was complicated, very complicated that much was evident. Nevertheless, the scarred Lieutenant could not help but remember a time, not so long ago, when he saw such a different side of her personality. It really did make him wonder if her current persona was all just an act to distance herself from people, or if he had only seen her as he wanted to. He very much doubted it was the latter, but that only caused him to worry even more, instead of feeling relief.

"Kira-san, why have you been so quiet, is something wrong?" Momo Hinamori asked her blonde-haired male friend, who had been deathly quiet and still since Saita had been there. He was acting like a scared rabbit, hiding in the bushes waiting for the fox to pass him by.

"No, nothings wrong Hinamori-san, I was just thinking." Izuru told his friend with a faux reassuring smile, which convinced the young girl, but not Shuhei and Rangiku, for they knew better, Izuru Kira was not fine and they knew why. It was almost as obvious as the faux smile that he now wore on his thin face. Some emotions were not easy to hide from knowing and experienced eyes.


	4. Chapter 3: Pleasant Memory & Childs Play

Chapter Three:

A Pleasant Memory and Child's Play

'_Kami-sama! Why did the scar-faced Lieutenant have to bring up this morning's fiasco? Just mentioning it makes my blood boil!' _Saita growled mentally and silently cursed the 9th Division Fukutaicho. Saita usually got along with him decently well, but that apparently was not the case today. He just had to open his big mouth about _that_ and in front of the other Lieutenants too! Letting an aggravated sigh pass through her parted lips, Saita shoved her hands deep into her pants pockets and comfortably slouched her shoulders before moving her hazel-blue eyes up to the clear blue skies of the Seireitei, seeking out a small portion of peace.

'_Momma…' _Saita's mind whispered as she stared unblinkingly into the sky; the color of the sky was the exact color of her deceased mother's eyes. She was such a beautiful woman, in both body and soul. Only two other people that Saita had met in the Soul Society came close to being anything like her deceased mother was. One of the women was the fourth Division's Captain and the other was the young Lieutenant of the fifth Division. There was one other who vaguely reminded Saita of her mother, but strangely enough, it was a male Captain. It was the sickly Captain of the thirteenth Division, Jūshirō Ukitake-san. He was the kindest man Saita had ever met and Saita respected him, for both his kindness to a street rat like her and his strength. Despite being a heavily sickened man, he was still terrifying strong; though being a member of the eleventh Division made her acknowledge this silently.

Unknowingly two young Shinigami boys were walking down the exact path as Saita. Both of the boy's were each carrying a tall stack of papers for their awaiting Captains. Suddenly, the smaller of the two boys unexpectedly tripped over his own feet and crashed into his friend, who then lost his balance and crashed into someone he could not see, because of the papers that had been in his arms. The once neatly stacked papers were now fluttering around everywhere, as Rikichi landed on his behind with a loud "oomph" noise and a soft whimper of pain; he had landed on a small rock and it hurt.

"I am so sorry Rikichi! I didn't mean to make you fall!" Hanataro Yamada worriedly apologized to his friend, who was muttering soft curses about the rock he had fallen on, while watching his papers flutter around like white butterflies. It would have been funny, if not for the fact that Rikichi was late and his Taicho was not as forgiving as Hanataro's.

"Don't worry about it Hanataro, it was an accident." Rikichi told his nervous friend with a reassuring look, as he started to pick up his papers, before they were damaged any further. Oh great, he thought dismally to himself, his Taicho was _not_ going to be happy with this. Maybe he would not get into too much trouble for turning in dirty papers. Oh, who was he kidding, Kuchiki-Taicho was going to get him big time for this, he just knew it, his cold-as-ice Taicho was not a man who liked any kind of disarray or un-cleanliness, much like the rest of the Noble's.

"O-okay," Hanataro stuttered out with a guilty look before bending down and picking up his scattered papers. Neither one of the boys noticed the blonde haired woman that they had accidentally run into, who was currently glaring and scowling at the ground as if it had purposely caused gravity to make her fall onto her now sore behind.

"Hey! You two watch where you're going next time!" Saita started angrily not looking at the two boys while she pulled herself from the dusty ground. Saita cut her rant short when she finally looked up and saw the two dark haired boys. Both of them had wide-eyes and terrified looks on their young faces. Rikichi and Hanataro suddenly realized that they had just knocked over one of the 11th Division members, the 11th Division had never liked the fourth Division or the sixth Division, and sadly neither one would stand a chance against a seated officer if they were attacked. Their day could not have become any worse than it was now.

"Wait a minute… Hanataro-kun, Rikichi-kun? What are you two doing here?" Saita asked in bemused, yet amused surprise when she got a good look at the two teens, who looked so relieved at seeing it was she instead of someone else in the 11th Division, to whom they had so carelessly knocked down. Indeed if it had been any other eleventh Division member, the two boys would have been in the Infirmary.

"Oh, Saita-san! I-we're sorry for running into you!" Hanataro apologized with a polite bow, which made Saita grunt. The boy had always been too polite and kind, but she was not going to stop him from being nice to her nor was she going to discourage his rare behavior. After all, their needed to be more kind people in the world to counter all of the bad ones, even though the boy really did need to toughen up a little. Saita never considered herself to be a "bad" person, per say but she sure as hell was not an angel. She placed herself at being just a normal person, who was quick to anger.

"Eh, don't bow Hanataro, it makes me feel weird. Besides you're not below me, just because I'm a seated officer." Saita sensibly, yet lazily told the young boy, who was now looking up at her with a look of pure admiration, which made Saita chuckle unnoticeably. The boy really needed a "hero" figure sometimes and Saita had a feeling that the kid thought of her as his. It was actually somewhat flattering, even though she acted as if she was oblivious to the whole thing. It was weird, at first to have, someone who actually looks up to her and admires her so much, but after awhile it took on a different sensation all together.

"Here, let me help you guys." Saita muttered while bending down and helping the two boys sort through their strewn papers, despite the boy's protests. When all of the many papers were neatly stacked back into the two boy's arms, twenty minutes later, Saita went to take her leave, but Hanataro's nervously soft voice stopped her.

"Thank you very much for your help Saita-san! We can handle the rest of it!" Hanataro sent a warmly shy smile to the older woman, and started to walk off. Until he suddenly tripped over his own two feet, and went crashing to the ground in a whirlwind of flailing limbs and papers, which made dust swirl up around him and white papers began rain down upon him like a summertime snowstorm.

"Oh, brother," Rikichi muttered at the hopeless onyx haired boy who was his best friend, when the said boy began to freak out over his clumsiness. Hanataro really needed to learn to chill and not freak out so much; it would really help with his health. Rikichi had a sneaking suspicion that his shy friend probably had really high blood pressure, due to all of his stressing out.

Saita chuckled with a soft, rare and pleasant smile as she watched the young boy flip out over his clumsy mistake. With a shake of her head, she walked over to the fallen boy and helped him up, before she began to pick-up the fallen papers, again along with Rikichi, who had carefully placed his stack in a safe spot by a building wall so he would not have to repeat the same process as his clumsy healer friend. When the three finally got the papers picked up and stacked in a neatly fashion, once more, Rikichi waved good-bye to his friend and Saita, before heading off to the 6th Division station, while Hanataro and Saita made their way towards the 4th Division station. This time however, Hanataro carried only half of the papers while Saita carried the other, despite Hanataro's many complaints.


	5. Chapter 4: Running into the Taichos

Chapter Four:

Running into the Taichos

"Geeze, that woman is too nice!" Saita muttered to herself after "escaping" from the 4th Division barracks and the 4th Division Taicho and her Fukutaicho. Both of them had been shocked to see Saita helping Hanataro carry the papers and wanted her to stay and talk, like she was an old friend or something of the like, much to Saita's chagrin.

"Blah!" Saita made a disgusted face before scowling at no one. Least to say Saita wasn't too thrilled to be in their company for very long, seeing as how they treated her like she was a child and it didn't help that both of them wanted to be friends with her despite her obvious dislike and temper.

'_Ridiculous, just ridiculous.' _She mused with a half scowl half lazy look, upon her pale countenance.

Letting a bored sigh escape from her partially parted lips, Saita crossed her arms over the back of her neck and raised her hazel-blue gaze up to the sky and began to whisper-hum a song that she had heard one time when she was working in the living world. It was a catchy tune and it had decent lyrics. If she recalled correctly the song was called California and the artist who sung it was called Wave.

Unknowing to Saita, her voice steadily grew louder, but still it remained intoned with her soft, but often rough voice, as she started singing again.

"Ya know, for being a rude bitch, you sure have a beautiful voice." A voice spoke up; the voice made Saita's skin crawl. The owner of the slimy voice had always annoyed Saita to no end and sometimes she swore he must have been a cockroach in one of his past lives, because no matter how hard she tried to get rid of him, he always came back.

"Oh yeah?" Saita growled, as her glareing hazel-blue gaze shifted from the sky to a railing just above her, where eleven of the thirteen Taicho's were sitting or standing and one Fukutaicho was there also.

It was Gin Ichimaru, who had spoken. Saita knew his slimy voice anywhere, besides he was the only one who was really paying her any attention. The others were either completely ignoring her or talking amongst themselves about "important" matters, Saita guessed.

'_What is it with old people and Politicks?' _Saita thought with a grimace, but her glare never faltered.

"Heh, like I give a shit about what you think, slimy." Saita told the always smiling, silver haired man who was a royal pain in the ass; well, she thought so anyway. The silver haired cockroach was like a blood thirsting mosquito; always there, always bothering you when you wanted peace the most and always annoying.

"Slimy?" Gin asked with a raised eyebrow, his creepy smile was still there, "Where did ya come up with that one?"

"I got that one, when I first met you. You reminded me of a slimy lizard… or if you prefer a slimy snake." Saita boldly told the 3rd Division Taicho, without so much as blinking. Saita was never one to back down from a challenge, unless she just wasn't in the mood for a banter or fight.

"You shouldn't speak to your superiors like that, Ms Saita; It could lead you into a lot trouble." Shigekuni Yamamoto-Genryūsai told the young spitfire of a girl, wisely.

"Heh. Whatever, old man." Saita coldly told the older man; she had never been afraid of him or any one else who was in Seireitei, despite their reputations, age or experience level.

"Watch your tongue, you insolent brat!" Chojiro Sasakibe the Fukutaicho of the 1st Division angrily yelled at Saita, while starting to pull out his Zanpakuto, Gonryōmaru.

"Calm down, Chojiro." The 1st Division Taicho calmly told his angry and always faithful Fukutaicho, before continuing on in the same calm and reserved tone of voice, "Let her speak her mind. I am curious as to what Ms. Saita thinks of us Taicho's and our ideals."

Everyone's attention was now completely on Saita, who looked nothing short of bored. She had little patience for the old man's questions, but still she did not leave. If they wanted her opinion, then they were going to hear it, all of it. So with a bored tone she spoke, "Go ahead old man, ask away."

The 1st Division Taicho nodded his head slightly before asking, "What is your opinion of everyone?"

"Heh, that was blunt." Saita muttered, but everyone could still hear her. Crossing her arms over her chest, she raised an eyebrow and with a sneering smirk and cockily asked, "Are you sure that your giant ego's can handle the truth?"

It was a direct challenge and everyone knew this, since everyone's faces instantly became cold and their eyes slanted in anger, all accept the 1st and 3rd Taicho's, they merely looked interested and calm.

"Yes, do please carry on Ms. Saita." Shigekuni Yamamoto-Genryūsai calmly told the young girl, before becoming silent and waiting for Saita to speak her mind.

Evil thoughts entered her mind, as she looked over all of the Taicho's above her. Boy was she going to have fun crushing their oversized egos! It couldn't have been set up any better, Saita nearly laughed out loud at how easy it would be; it was just like they had handed her their ego's on a gleaming silver platter and Saita was never one to refuse anything that was just given to her.

"Heh, where should I start…" Saita murmured to herself before she smirked devilishly and locked eyes with the Taicho of squad 6th, Byakuya Kuchiki. The stoic Taicho was looking down upon her in his usual apathetic mood; staring at her like she was merely an insignificant bug that needed to be crushed.

'Noble bastard; you're first, you stupid noble son of a whore.' Saita growled within her mind, knowing that she would try and succeed in crushing the stuck-up Noble who thought everyone was below him, just because they didn't come from a Noble clan.


	6. Chapter 5: Anger Interrupted

Chapter Five:

Interrupted

Saita was just about to really gnaw into the gigantic ego of Byakuya Kuchiki, when she was just suddenly and rather harshly shoved backwards, by an unidentifiable black streak. The only other color that Saita was able to distinguish was blonde, before she hit the ground with a soft grunt.

"What the hell!" Saita yelled as she got up from the dusty ground and looked around for the culprit. She was beyond pissed and wanted to kill who ever thought that they could push her down and get away with it unharmed. Instantly Saita locked eyes with a terrified looking Izuru Kira, who had just noticed who he had ran into and least to say her was scared shitless of the blonde haired girl.

"I-I-I!" He stuttered while backing away from the angry blonde, who was pulling her Zanpakuto of her shoulder and glareing murderously at him. She really looked like a demon at that moment and the 3rd Division Fukutaicho would have given anything to just disappear until she was gone.

"You what?" Saita growled as Seijakusenshi, was fully unsheathed and pulsing with the desire to injure and fight. Out of all of the Zanpakuto's in the Soul Society, Seijakusenshi was probably the most vocal when he wanted to fight, although Saita was the only one who could understand or hear the whispers that her sword sent to her.

"I-I'm sorry, it was an accident! I'm truly very s-sorry! Please, please forgive me Saita-san!" Izuru was in a near panicky state now. No one really knew just what Seijakusenshi could do and Saita had never had to use her Shikai or Bankai on anyone, although he knew that she had probably mastered both levels of power with as much training as she did.

"Do not point your blade at someone who is of higher rank than you or you will be punished and removed of your seat on the 11th Division of good!" Chojiro Sasakibe yelled down at her threateningly, as Saita withdrew her blade from its sheath and readied the blade to attack at a moments notice.

Saita just glared at the older Shinigami Fukutaicho, before expertly spinning her Zanpakuto in a very threatening way before re-sheathing Seijakusenshi and then walking past Izuru, but not without harshly shoving her shoulder into the blonde male and growling evilly, "Go grow some balls!" before she disappeared around the corner of the street. Leaving behind a very shaken 3rd Division Fukutaicho and several surprised Taicho's.

Izuru looked as if he was about to piss in his pants and when he could no longer feel Saita's presence he let out a great sigh of relief, before shaking his head trying to make the fear she had installed in him dissipate.

"Kami, what a temper." He whispered shakily to himself, before suddenly remembering why he had come. He needed to talk to his Taicho, Gin Ichimaru.

'_Stupid, dick-less, blonde, moron!' _Saita was in a huff after her encounter with Izuru Kira, usually she wouldn't have backed down from a fight, but she had weighed the pro's and con's of trying to injure a Fukutaicho while almost all of the Taicho's were watching and she came to the conclusion that she liked the paychecks better than pride, so she let it go, for now.

"Another time dick-less, another time." Saita whispered with an evil smirk, as if sensing his wielders intentions Seijakusenshi vibrated and hummed a soft, threatening tone, that only Saita could understand and hear.

"I know, I know. It's been awhile since we fought with the mutt, but I was just too lazy this morning." Saita told her Zanpakuto reassuringly as the hum turned into a growl. Seijakusenshi had always loved fighting, but Zabimaru was his favorite, but unlike their wielders they did it because they were a perfect match in battle. They were always surprising one another with their power levels and unexpected powers. They just simply enjoyed having a good fight, much like their wielders''.


	7. Chapter 6: Close Contact

Chapter Six:

Close Contact

"Oh come on!" Saita growled as she again, ran from her blood crazed Taicho, who had, finally found her after five hours of chasing her around Soul Society; Only to become lost more times than not. He may have been a superior fighter but Kenpachi Zaraki had the directional skills of a tree and his pink headed Fukutaicho was no better. So if you knew your way around the streets of Seireitei and were fast enough you could easily loose the fanatical Captain of squad 11.

'_Why in the hell does he want to fight me so badly today?' _ Saita thought with an aspirated sigh; she was getting tired of running from her Taicho; she had already hid her energy, but still that Kenpachi was still on her ass.

"Still running from Kenpachi?" A smug voice asked from Saita's right, she didn't even have time to see who it was before the shrouded person pulled her into a tight hole. Not two seconds before Kenpachi ran by, unaware of the two figures hiding in the shadows of the building.

Saita couldn't tell anything about her rescuer, except that he was a male and he was tall, at lest six foot two and that he was quite muscular and that he smelled… good, though she'd never, ever tell anyone that particular fact.

"Kami, get off me!" Saita growled, while she pushed herself as far away from her rescuer as possible, but still they were merely hairs breath away from one another and Saita did not like it, not one wee little bit. Being so close to an unfamiliar male was something Saita detested; she was not one for close contact.

"Okay." The man said carelessly, before Saita was basically thrown out of the tight spot and unfortunately she couldn't catch her balance, so she did a face pant in the dirt.

"Oh, I'm gonna kill you; you son of a bitch!" Saita snarled as she got up and grabbed Seijakusenshi's hilt, ready to fight who ever thought that they could manhandle her like a sack of potatoes.

"You're going to kill me? Really? Heh, I like to see you try." The male spoke with a mocking tone. He was still in the shadows, so Saita still couldn't make out who the person was, but what she could tell was that he was cocky and he had his arms crossed over his chest and she was quite certain that whoever it was, he was smirking and that just served to irritate Saita further.

"I just saved your ass and that's all the thanks that I get? Damn you really are an impolite bitch aren't you?" The male asked in a sour tone, as he stepped into the sunlight, only to reveal… the smirking mug of, one Renji Abarai.

"You asshole; I didn't need your help, I was doing just fine on my own! So piss off!" Saita hissed like an angry cat, before she went to turn around; she was pissed and she still wanted to keep her paycheck, so she was trying to let it go. But apparently Renji wasn't having any of it, seeing as how he grabbed Saita's wrist and tugged her around to face him rather harshly.

"Let go Mutt." The blonde girl growled at him threateningly, but Renji was enjoying her anger and he was bored and that was always a bad mix; especially when Saita was concerned.

"I don't think so. Not until you apologize and thank me politely, for helping you out." Renji smirked, he knew how prideful the small blonde was and he was going to make her at least say thanks; no one had ever heard her say that, ever and I would be a slight pride booster to hear the words come from her mouth, whether she meant them or not.

"Go to hell, monkey boy!" Saita retorted angrily, while trying to snatch her wrist back unsuccessfully. The nerve of him! The hell she was going to apologize and thank his ugly ass! She'd rather be weaponless while fighting Kenpachi, Ikkaku and Yumichika, together!

"I probably will, but you'll be coming with me." Renji smirked, before he grabbed Saita's other wrist and backed her into the wall; she had a feral looking snarl on her face and anger radiated off of her like steam, but something else was shining in her hazel-blue eyes, it was something that Renji had never seen and never ever expected to see in her… fear.


	8. Chapter 7: Fear & Horrifying Memories

Chapter Seven:

Fear And Horrifying Memories

Saita was stunned when Renji shoved her against the wall. At first she was beyond pissed until, she had a flashback of when she was still living in the Rukongai and she no longer saw the redhead man holding her, instead she saw someone else. Someone she never wanted to see again, unless he was dead.

A tall middle-aged man now stood in Renji's place, the man had short black hair and evil dark blue eyes. He was wearing dirty and ripped clothing that now had blood stains on them; the man was holding her in the same mannerism as Renji, but the man had a tighter and rougher grip on her small, fragile wrists.

"Stop! Please stop!" A much younger Saita pleaded, as the man started to run his hands over her small body lustfully. He didn't pay her pleading or tears any mind as he continued to sexually assault a pre-teenage Saita.

Just the man started to run his grimy hand up Saita's nightgown, she started wriggling like a snake in the man's grasp, only for the man to pull his hand from her nightgown and slap her harshly across the face, making blood fly across the room. The man had hit her so hard that her nose and lip were bleeding profusely, staining her pale skin and snow colored sleeping robe. The hit was so hard that all she could see for a few minutes were dark spots splattered around in her now blurry vision.

Since she wasn't struggling anymore the man foolishly released her now bruised wrists and went back to pulling her underwear off; just when the man stared to pull up her nightgown, after he had pulled off her panties, Saita regained her proper mindset and just as the man had pulled her nightgown up to her mid-thigh's, she lashed out with her right foot and directly hit the man's throat, effectively making the man back off and start choking and gasping for air.

Saita immediately jumped off of the floor and ran out of her house and away from the man and the dead bodies of her parents. The man had brutally killed her father and beat and raped her mother, before killing her and then he turned his wickedness on Saita. Saita would never return to that house after running away that night, not once would she ever even walk down the street on which the small house resided on.

Back then, Saita was kind, trusting and a bit naive towards the ways of life. But from that moment on, Saita never trusted any man or woman, ever again especially men; for it was a man who killed her family and nearly raped her; the very next day, she wasn't the same little girl anymore. The night had made her cold, angry, distrustful, and hateful towards everyone and she vowed to never be a victim ever again.

Meanwhile, outside of Saita's memories, Renji was in shock. Saita, the Saita who had always been as cold as winter was crying, trembling in fear and muttering pleas for someone to stop whatever she was seeing; Renji had already released the trembling blonde and he was now trying to wake her from her memories, but he was still very much unsuccessful in his tries.

Her body was like putty in his hands, as her head sagged onto his shoulder and her body was as limp as a boned fish, when he tried to make her stand up on her own.

How he knew that she was trapped in her memories, was because her eyes had glazed over and she was stareing straight through him. The correct indicators that she was locked into past memories and these seemed to be particularly horrifying and Renji was half wondering if he even wanted to know what she was seeing.

Doing something that was, very, very unusual for his character; Renji gently and carefully pulled Saita into his arms and tried to comfort her, while trying not to send her into shock. She looked as if she would go into shock, if he even breathed the wrong way, let alone tried to revive her into the present. Trying his best to calm the horrified blonde down enough to stop crying; he spoke soft, calming and reassuring words into her ear, trying to gently rouse her from her memories.

While he was doing this, the recall of a conversation that he had with Ikkaku Madarame, not long after Saita had joined the 11th Division, flashed through his mind.

"She doesn't like men." Ikkaku had told him, after Renji's first real encounter with the young blonde haired girl; she had left a nice, big bruise on his left bottom ribs, when they had trained.

"Ain't that obvious? Look at what she did!" A younger Renji growled as he pulled up his shirt and showed Ikkaku the nasty looking bruise, which Saita had left as a reminder of their fight.

"No. She doesn't trust men and she pretty much hates their guts… someone must have hurt her badly; at some point in time, for so much hate to be within of her heart." Ikkaku muttered more to himself than Renji, but the young redhead heard his Sempai clearly.

"Hurt her? Like how? What could have some man do hat was so bad for her to hate us so much? It's not like any of us hurt her." Renji asked with a confused face, as Ikkaku peered into the training room, where Saita was fighting with Yumichika and causing the older man to actually fight back, with much more ferocity then he usually did with new students.

"Like abusing her or… raping her." Ikkaku said with a stoic face and voice, when he turned to look his student straight in the eyes.

"Would, someone really do that?" A young and rather naive Renji asked skeptically; though he had grew-up in the 78th district of the Rukongai and things were bad, but no one had ever done things like that, so he found it hard to believe that someone could really do such a revolting thing.

"Yes, some people are that low, as to do something like that." Ikkaku stonily replied to the young redhead beside him, as they watched Saita go at Yumichika with all of the hatred that she possessed. She was determined to beat him, no matter what it cost her physically or mentally. Her will was just too strong to break and her stubbornness could rival that of their Taicho, Kenpachi Zaraki.

"Renji…" Ikkaku started, before he shifted his gaze to the young man beside him and continued, "Don't ever sink that low and remember, not all people are what they appear."

"I understand." Renji nodded with a serious face and tone, before he turned his attention back to the training room, watching as Saita continuously fought with Yumichika, never once giving an inch in their battle, despite the obvious strain that it was taking on her whole being.

Shifting out of his memories, Renji concluded that Ikkaku had probably been right, someone had hurt her and now he had made her remember.

"Kami! I am an asshole." Renji cursed quietly, as Saita's body started to stop trembling and her hazel-blue eyes started to drift closed; she had cried herself to sleep, while she was still stuck in her memories.

"I'm sorry." Renji muttered to the unconscious girl in his arms. He was truly ashamed of what he had done and he didn't know how to make it up to her, but for now he needed to get her to a bed or even a couch, so she would be able to sleep comfortably. Truly he had never intended to cause such damage to the blonde haired girl, but he had done it nonetheless and he couldn't take it back now, even though really whished that he could.

"Um, I don't know where you live." Renji muttered to himself, after he had picked Saita up and started walking towards her home or so he thought; letting an aggravated sigh breeze through his lips, he decided that he'd have to take her to his house, for now. He didn't want any rumors spreading around, so he flash-stepped to his small apartment and laid the unconscious girl on his bed.

He just stood there for a few minutes, just looking her over, when she slept, her face smoothed out and she looked… attractive, not that she wasn't attractive when she was awake, but now that she wasn't awake and scowling, Renji could see that she was actually quite feminine and kind of eye-catching.

'_More like… beautiful.' _Renji's mind whispered, immediately he slapped his forehead and walked out of the bedroom; if he was thinking things like that about his rival, then surly the world was going to end.


	9. Chapter 8: Unwanted Questions

Chapter Eight:

Unwanted Questions

Three and a half hours later, Saita still hadn't woken up and Renji was starting to get worried. Yes, worried of all things, about Saita, who absolutely and undeniably hated his guts and wanted nothing more than to rip out his spinal cord and ram it down his throat. He knew this for certain because she had told him, a day after they had met and Renji didn't doubt a word that came from her mouth.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid!" Renji kept muttering to himself, as he repeatedly walked to the doorway of his room and back into his living room.

"Just wake up already… please." Renji whispered when he said the last word, as he watched Saita sleeping; she looked relaxed now and he didn't want to disturb her, but he wasn't quite sure if her sleeping so long was healthy.

Suddenly, just as Renji was about to go back into his living room, the unconscious blonde woman sighed and whispered something under her breath and started to move. She still didn't open her eyes, but at least she was finally waking up.

"What happened?" Saita muttered to herself, as she slowly came from unconsciousness. Her head was hurting a little and she couldn't remember what had caused her to fall into unconsciousness, but she knew that only one thing could cause such a reaction from her body and she didn't want to remember. It had been forty years since her last flashback and she just wanted to forget everything.

"You passed out, after having a complete breakdown." Someone said with a distinct coldness etched in their voice, but worry could be heard too.

Immediately, Saita's eyes flashed open and she practically shot up from the bed. Only to see a scowling Renji Abarai at the foot of the bed, with his arms crossed over his chest, looking somewhat peeved.

"What are you doing here?" Saita asked with a slight growl. This wasn't what Saita ever wanted to wake up to: Renji Abarai's ugly mug.

Renji just scowled some more, before raising his eyebrow and speaking, "Excuse me? This is my house and you're in my bed."

At hearing Renji's words, Saita started looking around and surprisingly she wasn't in her house or her bed. Instantly she jumped off of the bed, like it had burned her and took a similar stance and look as Renji. Though she looked angry on the outside, inside was another thing. She was embarrassed, deeply embarrassed and wanted nothing more then to leave and never see Renji ever again.

"I'm leaving." Saita muttered, as she started to leave Renji's bedroom but something or rather someone was standing in her way. Renji; who had moved to the doorway and with his height and bulk, Saita couldn't get through, without either shoving him out of the way or squeezing around beside him and she wasn't going to do the latter. So she marched up to the tall redhead and went to shove him out of the way, but the stubborn redheaded man wouldn't budge and when Saita went to punch him, he lashed out and caught her fist, with lightning fast reflexes and when Saita went to punch him with her left fist, he caught that one too, but to Saita's surprise he wasn't being rough, he was just holding her there, so she couldn't hit him or leave.

"Let go, Mutt!" Saita hissed, as she struggled like a wildcat in Renji's iron grasp; she had never liked being manhandled and he was just making her even angrier.

"Not just yet." Renji said sternly as he held the struggling woman about an arms length away from himself. He knew that Saita had a very powerful kick, from experience and he didn't want to make the same mistake as he did when he was younger.

"Well, what do you want?" Saita snarled but she calmed down, if only slightly.

"Why did you freak out and then faint? What happened in your past?" Renji asked though he started to regret it when he saw Saita's reaction.

Saita nearly stopped breathing when Renji asked that unwanted question; she didn't want anyone to know about her past, especially Renji Abarai. She knew that he, along with everyone else would treat her very differently if they knew. They would look at her with pity and she never wanted that, she'd rather have all of Seireitei hate her, than have them look at her with pity.

"You-that's none of your business!" Saita told him angerly, though she had stopped moving entirely and was now just glaring straight into Renji's deep brown eyes.

"It is now. Now that you freaked out on me today and then fainted." Renji told her sternly, but his voice and eyes softened, as Saita's hazel blue eyes started speaking more to him then her mouth ever did. There was so much more emotion swimming around in her eyes now and Renji wasn't quite sure what to make of it, she had never been this open or vulnerable to anyone, and she knew it, because her eyes held fear, once again. Only this time she wasn't afraid of her past, she was afraid of being weak and showing weakness.

"Renji…" Saita started quietly, she looked down at her feet, before she looked back up into Renji's eyes before speaking in a quiet tone, "Just let it go. For Kami's sake, just let it go… please, please just let it go."

Renji was now nearly ready to faint himself, Saita was practically pleading with him to let everything go, to forget, but… he couldn't. He was now involved and he cared about her, if only for her well being, but he cared and he wanted to know what happened. Even though he knew that it wasn't in anyway pleasant, he still wanted to know, even if he would regret it later. Knowing would be much better than not.

"I want… I need to know Saita." Renji spoke carefully, he wasn't quite sure if she'd tell him, but if she did then he'd never ask again. He'd leave it alone, forever.


	10. Chapter 9: Answer’s Aren’t Satisfying

Chapter Nine:

Answer's Aren't Always Satisfying

Saita just sighed, before shaking her head. How could he possibly want to know about her past? It wasn't even that interesting or different, many people nearly get raped and see their parents murdered when they are just children… well, not really. But still telling her rival and most hated person in all of Seireitei, about her very personal and painful past wasn't something Saita ever wanted to do.

"Listen, Mu-Renji, my past is personal and I don't need you telling everyone in Seireitei about it. So just drop it." Saita told the tall, tattooed, redhead with a defensive tone, she no longer wanted to play, whatever game he was playing, she was tired and wanted to just go back to her house, take a long, long shower and forget about this afternoon's adventure.

"I wont tell anyone… trust me." When Renji spoke those last two words, he expected Saita to scoff at him and more than likely try to hurt him, seeing as how the words "trust me" was something Saita did not believe in, not one little bit, especially coming from him.

Saita cocked an eyebrow at Renji's last two words, before scoffing and shaking her head with a somewhat sinister laugh and speaking, "Trust you, really? You've got to be joking? Like anyone would ever trust you."

Renji did not like Saita's reply, not at all, but gritting his teeth and shoving his anger back for another time, he tried to speak calmly, though it came out forced and a small hint of anger was heard in his voice, "On the contrary and to your greatest surprise, I'd imagine. A lot of people trust me. Because I'm the kind of person who can keep other people's secrets and I'm a very trust worthy guy. So, you need to stop being a brat and get over your self, because one day you're going to need someone and because you've pushed everyone away, they're not going to be there!"

Saita just stared wide-eyed at Renji, she had never expected something so serious yet moving, to come from his mouth; Though he had called her a brat, which she did not like, she still kind of got the meaning of his rant.

'_Maybe… I can… trust him?' _Saita's mind spoke, almost of it's own accord, because she would have never sanely thought that in a million years, but perhaps, it was her, the part of her that wanted to trust people, but being let down so many times had locked that part away, maybe now she could trust again, maybe.

Saita just stood there for a minute before, her features softened and a tired sigh escaped from her lips, "Renji if I tell you, about my past, would you never ask again and swear on your honor and family jewels, that you will never tell anyone?"

Renji grimaced a little from Saita's question and the promise he would have to make, but being true to his word, he nodded his head, before speaking, "Yes, I swear."

Saita could tell that Renji wasn't lying, so she nodded her head, before looking at her wrists, which were still in Renji's grasp, "Do you mind, letting me go?"

It was more of a demand than a question, though she hadn't been rude about it. Renji still didn't quite trust her not to run away, but he reluctantly let her wrists go, after he did Saita backed away from him while rubbing her wrists, where his grip had been, before eyeing his room over once and backtracking to his bed and plopping down right in the middle, with a sigh.

"Well, where to begin?" Saita muttered to herself, before she looked down at her hands, for a minute before looking back up and stareing straight into Renji's brown eyes.

"When I was little, I was a lot different than I am now. I used to trust people, I used to smile, whether you choose to believe this or not. I used to be polite and shy. Yeah, I was a lot different back then. But anyway that's off subject, so yeah, I lived with my parents, my mom, Asuna and my dad, Jinsei." When Saita spoke of her parents Renji noticed that her eyes shined and a small smile crossed her lips, it was unusual, yet Renji liked seeing Saita's emotions, especially the happy ones.

"My surname is… Naoto, but I never use it anymore. Not since I was young. Anyway that's off subject too." Saita laughed a short halfhearted laugh before continuing, but her voice and face became cold.

"When I was younger, my dad and mom, let someone stay at our pitiful looking shack of a house for a night, but, they shouldn't have, because that night, that man, who's name I don't remember or even care to, took a Tanto and… slit my father's throat, while he slept. Then… my mom, she woke up, hearing my father's choking and… well, saw the man standing over my father with a bloody Tanto. She went to scream, but… the man hit her, hard which made her head smack into our wall and blood started to fall from her head… she was basically unable to do anything but lay where she was, but when the man… went to take my mother's cloths off, she started to fight back. Until the man started to hit her, over and over and over again, until she could do nothing but whimper in pain, then he… he, proceeded to… rape my mother, before he stabbed her several times…" Renji couldn't believe how much she was telling him and how bad her past had been, but he had a gut feeling that her gruesome story wasn't over yet and he wasn't so sure if he wanted to hear the rest, but he asked, so he couldn't turn back now.

"Then he turned to me… I was young and naive, back then. But I knew that he had done something bad to my mother before killing her and I also knew that he was going to do the same thing to me, if I didn't get away, but I was… frozen in fear and I couldn't make myself move. No matter how hard I tried…" Saita's face was as cold as he'd ever seen it before, it almost made him sick, to think of what she was going to say next. He sincerely hoped that she hadn't been raped, but only she knew the answer, so he just waited, while fearing the worst.

"But when the man grabbed me, I snapped out of whatever trance I was under and started fighting him, but he had already got a tight grip on me, so all I could do was fight… and beg for him to let me go." Saita nearly growled out the word beg, she hated the word just as much as she hated the act of doing it, but with a deep calming breath, she started again.

"I was crying and pleading for him to let me go, when he started to run his hands over me, all over me… before he started to… run his hand under my nightgown and over my legs… and when I started to struggle more he slapped me so hard that for a minute I lost all since of what was happening around and to me. Luckily the man had let my wrists go, when I stopped moving around and so, after he pulled my underwear off and started to pull my nightgown up, I regained my senses and lashed out with my foot and caught the guy right in the throat. So while he was choking for air, I jumped from the floor and ran off… I never went back. Not even to this day, have I ever been back to my old house and I've never trusted people since, especially men." Saita finished with an evil scowl and glare as she looked at the wall.

She had moved her gaze from Renji's when she started to talk about what the man was doing to her. Renji guessed that she was ashamed and angry at herself, for not being able to do anything about her parents or fight back before that man had touched her.

It made him angry, that someone would do that to her and her parents, but what really got under his skin was the fact that he could tell that the man, whoever he was, was probably still alive and out there somewhere, doing the same disgusting thing all over again. It made Renji so mad that he could have caught fire and he wouldn't have cared.

A strong tense silence enveloped the whole house, for at least twenty minutes before Renji could break the silence, "Saita, I… I'm sorry about your parents… and I hope that one day you get your revenge. But, don't loose yourself in the process and for Kami's sake don't push everyone away, yet. Not yet."

As Renji whispered those last two words, Saita finally met his gaze. She was just as surprised as Renji was when they both found kindness and concern in one another's eyes, but Renji was most surprised when Saita, smiled at him, yes it was a small one and it held a lot of sadness, but it was a real smile, not a smirk, or even a scowl or anything like that. It was real and Renji couldn't help but smile back, even if it looked more like a twitch of his lips, Saita saw it, and for once, since they had met, forty years ago, they now held an understanding between one another.


	11. Chapter 10: The Retrieval Mission

Chapter Ten:

The Retrieval Mission

It had been about three weeks since the incident with Saita's memories and things were almost back to normal, almost. Saita still argued with Renji, but the arguments had become a lot less hostile and when they occasionally fought with their Zanpakuto's it was more for fun than anything.

Though they tried to act as normal as possible around everyone, some people saw through their "I-still-hate-you" act and started asking nosey questions; namely Rangiku Matsumoto. She had been asking way too many questions and Momo Hinamori had been giving Saita weird smiles lately and in was getting on her nerves, but trying to be the "better" person, Saita kept brushing it off.

On another note Saita got back at Ikkaku, for making Kenpachi chase her that morning and just for good measure she ruined Yumichika's hair two days after she got even with Ikkaku, so they would leave her alone for awhile. She needed to think about what happened between her and Renji in peace.

"So what's got your hackles up, huh Mutt?" Saita asked when she saw the tall redhead stomping down the street with his arms crossed. Something was obviously bothering the redhead and Saita was slightly curious as to what had riled him up to this state.

"What? Nothing's wrong! Didn't I tell you to stop calling me Mutt?" Renji huffed, even though they got along a little better Saita hadn't stopped calling him by her "pet" names, much to his annoyance.

"Yes, something is too wrong." Saita stated before carelessly jumping off the rooftop, which she was previously napping on, before Renji made his presence know, and walking over to the frowning enigma himself, "Otherwise, you wouldn't be stomping around like an angry and spoiled child."

"What? I am not acting like a spoiled child!" Renji growled with a huff, when all Saita did was smirk and point at him, when he huffed again and un-crossed his arms before crossing them again and sticking his nose in the air.

'_Just like a spoiled and angry child.' _Saita smirked before snickering at the tall redhead and smacking him in the gut semi-lightly before she walked off in the opposite direction. Leaving a warning behind in her wake, "Whatever, you say Mutt. I'll be around if you need anything, but don't wake me up if I'm asleep. Or you'll have a nice long scar across that pretty-boy face of yours, alright?"

'_She's baiting me.' _Renji growled to himself while rubbing his stomach where Saita had hit him, even if she hadn't used hardly any of her strength it still stung, but just a little.

Just as Saita was going to turn down another street, Renji growled out loud, before taking off in her direction and calling out to the blonde irritant, "Wait up."

Immediately Saita stopped walking and turned her head back to look at Renji who was now walking towards her and even from a distance Renji could see a small smirk on the blond girls face. Though it had more of a kindness to it then mocking but still, Renji didn't like it when she smirked, even if it was a little one. Because it always meant that she had something up her sleeve or she thought that she had won.

"So, you decided to come then?" Saita teased when he stood beside her, before they simultaneously started walking down the street. To answer Saita's previous question, Renji just grunted and pulled his new glasses up and propped them on his head, before crossing his arms, again, only this time he did it only to have something to do. Renji didn't even know where they were going and he knew that Saita didn't even have a destination in mind either, but he didn't mind. They were going to talk so it was better that they were alone and away from nosy people.

"So you going to tell me, or do I have to drag it out of you?" Saita asked after a couple of minutes of silence, from both her and Renji.

"It's about, Rukia. She's been gone for far too long and the council wants to send Kuchiki-Taicho and I to retrieve her tonight." Renji said stiffly, apparently he wasn't in a good mood, but he did want to talk to someone otherwise he wouldn't have followed Saita.

"Well, I thought that you two fell out of touch, so what's the big problem? She's got to come back sooner or later, so why bother worrying?" Saita asked with a cocked eyebrow and even though her posture was lax, she had immediately stiffened on the inside at the mere mention of Rukia Kuchiki's name.

Saita had never been very fond of the young Kuchiki, partially because of her "big-brother" and partially because of how she was adopted into the Noble family, then left her past behind and started acting like she was never a street rat. It had really pissed Saita off when the small dark haired shinigami girl had done that. Yes, the Kuchiki family tried to hide the fact that Rukia wasn't blood related to them in any way, but Saita was no fool and it was wise not to take her as one either. She simply knew better. She even knew about Byakuya's departed wife, Hisana who was Rukia's blood sister. Perhaps that was why Byakuya and her had never got along, because she had called him out on it long ago and ever since their hatred had grown and never ceased.

"We did, so don't read into it! I just don't want to go to the living world; I'm a busy man and have other things that need seeing to." Renji retaliated stiffly and defensively, obviously it really was getting to him.

'_So, you still love her, don't you Renji? Just as I thought… Hell, it shouldn't be a surprise. It's not like you haven't loved her since you were a kid. So why would you stop now… and you certainly wouldn't do it on my account.'_ Saita mused to herself with a sarcastic, angry and sad mood.

"Don't worry. I don't read into anything you say, it'd just be a waist of my time." Saita smirked cockily, effectively hiding her true feelings. Saita wasn't a master at hiding her feelings, but when the need arose she could do a damn good job of it.

"Why you!" Renji growled angrily as he lashed out to hit the smirking blonde. But she was faster and knew he was going to try and hit her so she blew a raspberry at him before running down the road with that stupid cocky smirk never leaving her face.

'_Just you wait till I catch up to you. You little cocky shit!' _Renji growled mentally, before running after the blonde, though he couldn't stop the smirk from coming to his lips. He would never admit it aloud but, he kind of liked playing these games with Saita, she made them interesting and fun.

'_You're awfully playful today, Saita.' _Seijakusenshi commented in a whispering, but strong voice.

'_Yeah, so what of it?' _Saita asked in a slightly defensive tone; she knew very well when Seijakusenshi was implying something and she didn't like it.

'_Nothing, that isn't the obvious…' _That same quiet but strong voice commented, but his voice now held a mirthful tone to it as well.

'_Okay, cut through the bullshit already, Seijakusenshi and tell me what you mean.' _Saita nearly growled, she was in a good mood, but sometimes Seijakusenshi could ruin it so easily.

'_Are you blind, Saita? The answer is as obvious as the scowl on your face.' _Seijakusenshi sighed irritated at the obliviousness of his wielder, but he continued on, _'You are falling and hard at that. Too bad you choose someone who is already in love with someone else. But, I guess it couldn't be helped. I always knew that you would fall in love with that redheaded pineapple, with that… Renji Abarai.'_

Immediately Saita stopped dead in her tracks when Seijakusenshi finished speaking. She couldn't believe the nerve of him, assuming that she was falling in love with that Mutt! That was as preposterous as saying Saita was best friends with Byakuya Kuchiki!

'_Seijakusenshi, you have completely lost your Kami-damned mind! Sputtering such bullshit! I am not, and I repeat not in love with Renji Abarai!'_ Saita yelled completely infuriated. If she were able to, she would have attacked Seijakusenshi and killed him with her bare hands.

'_It's not bullshit! I am part of you Saita, so I know what you are feeling every second of the day and night! So, face it. You are in love with Renji Abarai… and the sooner you accept it, the better things will end.'_ After Seijakusenshi finished his rant he became deathly silent, like always. He didn't have to say anymore, he knew that his words had struck Saita right in the chest like a punch, so she would be mulling over his words for awhile.


	12. Chapter 11: Unwanted Conversation

Chapter Eleven:

The Unwanted Conversation and The Outcome

Since today was the day that the Mutt and the Noble asshole were to go and fetch Rukia. Saita was left to her own devices and she didn't have anything to do and to top it all off she wasn't sleepy and she didn't have any duties to do today either. So she was in a slight huff. Because what she really wanted to do was spar with someone, a certain someone, but that someone she wanted to spar with was gone.

'_Kami! I'm bored as hell!' _Saita growled to herself, as she sat atop a buildings roof; occasionally throwing small stones into the horizon and onto the occasional bystanders head. But it was already boring and Saita was tempted to throw much larger rocks onto people's heads, but that was just plain stupid, she'd loose her paycheck, her job and she would be kicked out of the 11th Division.

"What has you so moody today, Saita-san?" A familiar voice asked pleasantly, from behind the irritated blonde. Who was so caught up in her own thoughts she didn't even feel the owner of the voice arrive, so when he spoke she nearly jumped out of her skin and within the blink of an eye she had already turned around and unsheathed Seijakusenshi, only to face the 9th Division Fukutaicho, Shuhei Hisagi.

Saita narrowed her eyes at the dark haired Fukutaicho, before scoffing and re-sheathing her Zanpakuto and speaking, "Not that it's any of your business, Hisagi. But I ain't moody."

"Well, that tone tells me that you are. So, why are you irritable today?" Shuhei asked again with his normal calm voice, which always made Saita want to roll her eyes and punch him in the face. No one should always be that calm.

'_Persistent bastard.' _Saita growled mentally, she wasn't afraid of the 9th Division Fukutaicho, but she wasn't about to try and piss him off. Though sometimes that seemed impossible, with his laid-back nature, but Saita knew that just because he was mostly quiet didn't mean that he was weak; he was a Fukutaicho after all.

"It's none of your business." Saita huffed, before walking over to the farthest edge of the building's roof and standing on the very small ledge; her back was now to the Fukutaicho and she was hoping that he would get the idea that she didn't want his company or his questions, thought if he stopped the latter; she might welcome his company a little more.

"Why are you always so detached from everyone? Isn't there some small piece of you that wants human contact, again? Mostly everyone is polite and kind to you, but you're always pushing them away. Then there are the few, which you don't completely push away. Why is that?" Shuhei curiously asked; he hadn't moved from his former spot, he knew that if he did she would only get angry, jump off the roof and disappear until she wanted to be found.

Saita crossed her arms and scoffed quietly, still not turning around to face the scarred man, "You ask too many questions."

"Yes, even if you never answer any of them. But there is one question I want answered, more so than the others." Shuhei stated, though his voice had now taken on a more business like tone, one that Saita couldn't ignore; even if she wanted to. Slowly, Saita dropped her arms and sighed quietly before turning around to face the dark haired Fukutaicho, before speaking airily "Ask away then."

"Why didn't you accept Tōsen-Taicho's offer of joining our squad?" Shuhei asked directly, his face now hard but not angry; he just wanted an answer.

Saita had been asked by his Taicho to join their squad, which was a rare and very honorable thing, but surprisingly she had turned Tōsen down in only a minute and it had always bothered Shuhei. Their squad was a good one and she would have had better, more trustworthy friends there as well. But still she had declined, saying that the 9th squad wasn't her place and that only the 11th Division would fulfill her needs. Though still to this very day, Shuhei did not know the meaning of her words and it bothered him.

Saita was shocked at Shuhei's question and it struck her speechless; she thought that he had forgotten about that, but obviously not. _'Why in the hell, would he ask that question?'_

"I've already told you and your Taicho the answer once before. Have you forgotten my answer or has old age finally caught up to you?" Saita asked rudely. She had now taken a defensive stance, her eyes were slits, her arms were crossed and her body was tense.

"No. I haven't forgotten your answer, but I want to know what exactly you meant by saying that the 9th Division wasn't your place and that only the 11th Division could fulfill your needs. I want to know the meaning of that." Shuhei replied completely ignoring the fact that Saita had insulted him, his voice was still business-like and slightly commanding; though he knew that Saita would never be bossed around, she was way too stubborn for that.

"It's really quite a simple answer, Shuhei. I don't fit in with your squad and I never will. The only place that I fit in or even belong is in the 11th Division. They gave me something that no other squad could." Saita replied in a very irritated tone; she didn't want to explain any more, but she knew that Shuhei wouldn't give up, not when he really wanted something.

"What is that?" The scarred Fukutaicho asked, his voice was lighter in tone than before, but it still held its business-like manner.

"They gave me the strength to kill most of the feelings in my heart and my some of my humanity. So, I am no longer the child that challenged Zaraki-Taicho to a battle that she could not win. Instead I am now a woman that could potentially kill her Taicho and all those around her without a second thought. I have no weak ties to anyone. No feelings at all. I crushed them long ago, for they are worthless and only make one weak and weakness gets you nowhere. Are you satisfied now, Hisagi?" Saita coldly told the over curious Fukutaicho, her eyes were now as cold at the Arctic Ocean and her fair face now a stone. But, most of her words had been lies. It was true that she could possibly kill Kenpachi, but killing all of those around her was a flat out lie. She would never be able to do that, especially without a second thought.

"None of what you just said it the truth. You can't lie to me Saita, not after what happened between us. Not after the bond we once shared." Shuhei said in a light tone as he stepped closer to the irritated blonde.

"That "bond" was nothing! I was merely young and stupid at the time, so everything that went on between us was nothing. Besides I have already forgotten most of it. It's the past and nothing more. So leave it where it rightly belongs." Saita sneered still very much angry, but with him bringing up the past just made her even angrier.

"I don't believe that. Not for a second." The dark haired man spoke with a soft, soothing tone, as he carefully approached the seething blonde; who was so caught up in her anger that she didn't notice that he was nearing her.

"Well then, that's just your problem then and it's no concern of mine." Saita mocked coldly. She didn't have time for this conversation, though now that she was caught up in it, she couldn't escape. You can only run away for so long, until he past catches up to you and forces you to remember what you have been through.

"I still care for you, Saita. More than you can possibly imagine." Shuhei said truthfully, as he stared down at his, once upon a time girlfriend with a soft, loving look, like he used to give her, before she left him.

He and Saita had dated once and it had been the best six months of his life, but Saita wanted to keep their relationship secret and he agreed. So when they weren't alone they pretended to not acknowledge one another, but when they were alone, things were very different; Back then Saita was more playful, in an innocent way and she always wanted to hold his hand and be near him and she never rejected him about his scar. She had said once, that it was part of him and she accepted him wholly, just the way he was. But that was back when they loved one another.

Shuhei could still clearly remember everything that happened between them and he even remember that day that she turned her back on him, the day that she said that she no longer cared for him anymore. The day that she rejected his love, the day that she stopped being the woman that he loved and he blamed the 11th Division for taking her away. They had always been the kind of shinigami that always said they didn't need feelings, because they were only a weakness and weakness was a hindrance in battle and life. They had said that he was a hindrance to Saita and that he would only cause her potential to fade if he continued to be with her.

"Don't. We're no longer like that anymore, so stop." Saita said as she tried to push Shuhei's hand away from her; he had been removing her fringe away from her forehead, in a caring way, like he used to and Saita didn't like it. It brought back too many memories, both good and bad.

"You… you care for someone else now, don't you?" Shuhei whispered as he looked deep within Saita's beautiful hazel-blue eyes finding a certain glitter there, that he had only seen once before, slowly he let his hand fall to his side. Realization had finally hit him, she wasn't his anymore.

He blamed himself wholly, for letting Saita go without even so much as a fight. Perhaps if he would have gone after her when she left, then maybe she would have stayed his; but that's the past and he couldn't change it now. No matter how hard he tried. Saita wasn't his anymore. He had his shot and he blew it, now it was someone else's turn. He just hoped that they treated her, the way she deserved to be loved and he hoped with all of his heart and soul that Saita would find peace within her self and within the man that she now loved.

"No. As I already told you, I have no feelings anymore." Saita told him in a monotone voice, but her eyes were still glaring at him. He was starting to push buttons and they weren't good ones.

"That's a lie. Your eyes never lie Saita. You still have feelings, though you keep them buried inside of you. Your eyes still speak of your true emotions and now, they're glittering with love. Like when we were together, but they're brighter; I guess you really love him then." Shuhei stated with a slight wispy sigh that could barely be heard, but since he was so close Saita felt it, as his warm breath cascaded lightly over her brow.

"Who are you talking about? I don't love anyone-" Saita said defensively, still not backing away from Shuhei. She had nowhere to go, but the more he kept talking the more Saita was starting to doubt herself and the control she had on her emotions. He had always made her weak; she could never keep her resolves for very long around him. He was a danger to her in more ways than one.

"Yes, you do. You love… the Fukutaicho of squad 6, Renji Abarai." Shuhei said after looking intently into Saita's eyes knowing that they would tell him what she would not. Saita's eyes involuntarily widened when he spoke the Fukutaicho's name, confirming he was right in his assumptions. Shuhei wasn't stupid; he saw the relationship evolving between the 6th Division Fukutaicho and the young woman before him. Those who couldn't see it were either blind or they just didn't want to acknowledge it as a fact, but Renji and Saita were slowly falling in love.

"So, I guess there's no more room in your heart for me, for us, anymore?" Shuhei muttered quietly, knowing that she'd probably never return his feeling, again. A small but sad smile crossed the 9th Division Fukutaicho's lips, but his eyes told his real feelings, "But, that's alright, as long as you're happy. But know this Saita: I'll always be here for you, no matter what. I promise." And with that promise Shuhei softly ran his pointer finger and his middle finger over Saita's cheek and lips before leaning down and lightly kissing the side of Saita's mouth, before standing his full height and reluctantly stepping back away from the confused blonde who just stared up at him like a lost child, before he walked away from Saita and disappeared.

Saita just stood there staring at the place her old love had just been standing, only moments before. Saita's body was trembling like a leaf in a harsh winter breeze; her fists were clenched in anger, with her knuckles already turning a ghostly shade white. But her face was different, much different as rivers of tears were now running down her pale face, but the tears weren't from anger. They were from loss, sadness and regret.

True, she had once loved Shuhei Hisagi and a part of her still did. But she had walked away from him, from his love and pure happiness that could have been hers. Only to become what she was now: A cold hearted bitch, with no friends. Why? She wondered, would anyone walk away from happiness, especially when it was for certain? Fear, that was why, it was the way he made her feel and the way she had trusted him with her very life and soul. That was one of the reasons she walked away from him, one of the others being stupidity and the other being that she thought that maybe if she let him go and all of her feelings with it, that she would somehow become stronger, with no ties to anyone.

"But that was a mistake. I'm not any stronger; in fact I think that, I'm weaker." Saita whispered through her tears, as her knees gave out on her. Her own weight was too much to bear especially the weight within her own heart.

Within in seconds it seemed like, Saita couldn't breathe anymore and she began to hyperventilate and choke. She couldn't even see anymore, her tears were now blurring her vision. She fell onto her knees helplessly; her palms were the only thing keeping her face from hitting the roof top. Still unable to breath and fearing for her own life, she managed to scream out for help, just before all light faded from her vision and her breathing stopped completely, before she altogether collapsed onto the roof, her body going deathly still.


	13. Chapter 12: Diagnosis, Visitors & Return

Chapter Twelve:

The Diagnosis, Private Visitors and the Return

It had been about four hours, since a terrified looking Izuru Kira, had come running into the Infirmary carrying a seemingly lifeless Saita in his arms and immediately after Retsu Unohana and a few others quickly took the young blonde haired girl to a private room and they still hadn't come out yet and by now all of the Taicho's and Fukutaicho's, had been told and several of them, including most of the 11th Division had come to the Infirmary; all of them asking the same question that had been nagging at Izuru, since he had heard Saita scream and saw her collapse.

"Hey, lady do you know what's going on?" A lower member of squad 11 asked roughly, as a nurse walked out of the room that Saita was being kept in. Retsu had ordered everyone to stay out, no one knew exactly why, but still no one dared go into the room, Retsu was very frightening when she wanted to be.

"No sir. I am under strict orders to not say anything about the patient. I am sorry, but I have my orders. So please excuse me." The short dark haired nurse said politely, but rather coldly before she continued on with whatever Retsu had sent her to do.

Izuru had been asked repeatedly, by everyone about what had happened but, he was just a clueless as everyone else was and he was probably the most confused and worried out of everyone in the whole of Seireitei, accept maybe the Fukutaicho of the Division 9, Shuhei Hisagi, who was as pale as a sheet and looked as if he was on the verge of passing out and occasionally he was whispering things to his Taicho, who was listening intently, but their conversation was kept very quiet, so Izuru was sure that no one could hear them.

Twenty minutes later, Retsu and all of the others filed out of Saita's room, none of their faces said anything and that made Izuru nervous, really nervous and after a minute only Retsu was left, standing in front of a very crowded room, her face still didn't tell anyone anything important, strangely it was cold and she was never cold.

"Listen up everyone. It appears that young Saita had a nervous breakdown, before she started hyperventilating then she started panicking and so here you have the end result, but I wish to speak to the last people who talked with her, alone." After Retsu spoke everyone went deathly still and quiet for a minute before, a slight movement caught everyone's eye and to everyone's surprise Shuhei Hisagi, stepped forward not saying a word, but he did receive a lot of death glares, from the 11th Division, but before anyone could speak, they abruptly left the waiting room and not two seconds later loud whispering was all that could be heard throughout the room.

"So Fukutaicho Hisagi, would you like to tell me just what your last conversation with Ms. Saita was about?" Retsu asked the dark haired tattooed man, as they entered the private office of the 4th Division Taicho.

Shuhei glanced around at the 4th Division Taicho's office for a minute, before moving his dark gaze back to the patiently waiting older woman, who now sat behind her desk, with a curious yet professional visage; with an inaudible sigh, the dark haired Fukutaicho sat down in front of Retsu and slowly began to tell her about his and Saita's conversation and throughout it all Retsu's face never changed, she remained professional throughout it all, though her eyes saddened when Shuhei told her of their breakup and how he still loves her and how he was willing to let her go and love another while he still loved her with all of his heart.

"… I see." Retsu could only softly reply; she did not have any experience with matters of the heart, but she knew that, this affair was between, Saita, Renji and Shuhei and it was no one else's, so she let it be, but seeing as how she is still Saita's doctor, her first priority was for the young blonde haired girls health.

"How is she?" Shuhei asked after he explained everything to the 4th Division Taicho.

"She is fine, but I whish to keep her here for a few days just to make sure that she doesn't get overstressed and have a relapse of today… although, if you wish to see her, I will permit it, but she is sleeping, so you wouldn't be able to stay long." Retsu told the worried and guilty Fukutaicho, with a soft smile, as she opened her office door.

At her words, Shuhei looked up from the floor and a thankful look came to his face as he stood up and walked out of Retsu's office and followed her to Saita's room, where the older woman just gave him a reassuring smile before walking back towards the direction of the waiting room, to sort everything out, so Shuhei could have his alone time with his ex-girlfriend and the love of his life.

"I'm truly sorry, Saita. I never meant for this to happen." Shuhei spoke quietly as he stood beside the Infirmary bed, that now held a sleeping Saita; her long silky blonde tresses were free from the messy bun and they were framing her beautifully pale visage, in a way that made her look unearthly beautiful and if there was such a thing as angels, then she was one and no one would ever convince him otherwise.

Shuhei stayed beside his old love's bedside, for about an hour, just watching her and remembering all of the good times that they had had and he even wholly accepted the bad memories as well, after all of the memories flashed before his eyes and ended, he decided that it was now his time to leave, in more ways than one, but he could never force himself to ever leave her for good, even though he knew that she loved someone else now, he still felt like he needed to be there for her, incase something happened and she needed someone who truly understood her, so he was always going to be there, no matter what.

Without a word, Shuhei stepped away from the sleeping blonde's bedside, before turning around and heading towards the door, carefully sliding it open and stepping through, he paused for only a second to look back at the sleeping angel, before sliding the door shut, just as a lone tear fell from the corner of his dark eye; he was finally letting it go, after so many years… he finally let her go. If she wanted to love someone else, he wouldn't stop her, she wasn't his anymore and she never would be, ever again. He had finally accepted it and that was were he would leave it.

"May I see her now, Taicho Retsu? Saita that is." A nervous Izuru asked, after almost everyone had left the Infirmary; he was now the only person left in the waiting room. After Retsu had came back from talking to the 9th Division Fukutaicho, she basically sent everyone away, but he had waited until everyone had left to ask if he could visit the newest patient, but Retsu had told him that she had a visitor already, but she also told him that if he waited a little while he could see her today.

"Yes, you may see her now, but please don't stay very long and don't awaken her, she needs more rest." Retsu smiled, before leading Izuru to Saita's room.

"I wont stay long. I just… want to see her, that's all." Izuru mumbled as a response, before retuning the smile that Retsu sent him and quietly sliding open the door, to Saita's room.

As soon as Izuru was sure that he was alone with Saita, he really didn't know what to do and he wondered why he had asked to come and see her in the first place, but he as here now, so going back was practically out of the question, so gripping all of the courage that was possible he slowly and very cautiously moved to stand beside the bed that Saita was resting upon.

"I… um… I…" Izuru stumbled over his words nervously; he wanted to say something but, he was scared. He had always been nervous around Saita, even since they had first met and as they grew-up the nervousness never went away, in fact it grew and lately it had got to the point that he looked like an idiot around her all of the time, just because he couldn't spit out three words! Three simple words, that weren't so simple when one thought about them enough, but still it was only three words… just three words.

'_Oh, Kami… I… I… I can't say it. It just won't come…' _Izuru thought desperately to himself feeling more and more like a coward as every second went by and the words kept getting stuck in the back of his throat, every time he even thought about saying it.

"I really am a coward… just like you said, Saita. I guess I'll always be a coward around you... Get better, soon Saita." Izuru mumbled quietly before, quickly but quietly leaving the room then immediately leaving the Infirmary; he needed to think and he really, really needed some fresh air, because he suddenly felt very claustrophobic after being in that room with an unconscious Saita.

'_Oh Kami, she didn't even look like herself! She looked… like a corpse.' _At these thoughts, Izuru felt his stomach churn but he quickly sucked in a deep breath and slowly relished with his eyes closed; he was trying to calm himself down, the image of Saita lying on a bed, but as a corpse nearly cost him today's meals and his sanity.

Being so caught up in trying to calm himself, Izuru failed to since another's presence and spiritual pressure, until the new comer placed a hand on the blonde's shoulder, which practically made the nervous blonde nearly jump out of his skin ant the foreign touch.

When Izuru turned around, he found a perplexed looking redhead standing behind him, with a raised eyebrow; with a nervous slash breathless voice Izuru spoke, "H-hey Renji did the mission go well?"

Renji just nodded his head stiffly before speaking, "What has you so jumpy?" Renji had known Izuru since the academy days and the blonde had never been like this before, it was so strange and he wondered if something had happened since he and Taicho Byakuya had left; they hadn't been gone that long, so what could have happened?

"O-oh, nothing. I-I was just… getting some fresh air?" It was more of a question and Izuru knew that Renji saw through his very poor lie and he was about to try and correct himself, when he saw that something was missing and off about Renji's appearance, something the redhead usually never went without.

"Hey Renji, where's your glasses?"


	14. Chapter 13: What Happened To You?

Chapter Thirteen:

What Happened To You?

"Huh?" Renji grunted with a quizzed facial expression, as the conversation suddenly took a sharp turn away from what it previously was. So it kind of caught him off guard, to say the least.

"Your glasses, they're gone." Izuru pointed out, with an equally quizzed visage as his redheaded friend.

"Oh, that." Renji grunted with crossed arms and a dark scowl as he remembered his encounter and fight with the neon orange haired shinigami who stole Rukia's powers. If he recalled correctly the punks name was… Ichigo, Ichigo Kurosaki and he had to admit, if ever so reluctantly that the kid had a lot of power; even if he didn't know how to use it properly. He was still a formidable adversary… that is, until Taicho Kuchiki killed him and if the stoic Noble didn't kill the kid by some miracle, then the kid would never be the same again.

"Renji?" Izuru asked when his redheaded friend didn't speak for several long minutes; to Izuru it was strange, everyone knew that Renji loved his incredibly expensive glasses and he was never seen without them and something else was off about his friends appearance: his shihakusho had some rips and there were a few bloodstains accompanying the rips and strangely enough the rips looked like they were made by a Zanpakuto.

'_What in the name of Kami happened in the living world?' _Izuru asked himself as he looked his stoic friend over, finally seeing how disheveled Renji looked and oddly enough Renji looked slightly anxious and tired, which was a rare thing from the redheaded enigma.

When Renji did reply it was just a grunt, which meant "what?" so Izuru asked again, "Renji what happened to you? You look like you've been beaten up."

"Huh? No, I haven't been beaten up Izuru, now if you'll excuse me I need to go home and take a shower and sleep." Renji excused himself in his usual rough mannerism and turned away from his academy day's friend; he really needed a hot shower and some sleep… and maybe he'd stop by Saita's place and check up on what went down while he was gone. She'd probably be up cleaning Seijakusenshi or sparring by herself, as usual.

He had found out that the blonde enigma had a nightly routine of sparring for about four hours nonstop before going to bed, so now he knew why she was so moody when someone woke her up; he had sparred with her several nights in a row and he hadn't been the happiest person either, do now he was only sparring with her about every two or three nights out of a week, so he was at least a little bit tolerable the next day.

"Oh okay, later Renji." Izuru muttered as his friend disappeared into the night, not hearing nor responding to the blonde mans goodbye.

After, leaving Izuru in the middle of the street, Renji decided to make his way towards Saita's place, something felt… cold about tonight, the air felt colder, like something bad had happened and Izuru's reaction to Renji's touch earlier made him even more suspicious, but the blonde haired man looked like a ghost, so Renji left him alone, besides if it was something bad he and Taicho Byakuya would have already been informed, so he figured that it wasn't important.

When Renji reached Saita's small home, he found it strangely dark, cold and empty. It was almost like Saita hadn't been in her house for awhile, which really confused the redheaded shinigami to no end, because Saita always kept at least one light on when it was nighttime, even if she wasn't home or going to be home for awhile.

"She's not here, Renji." A solemn male voice spoke-up from the dark, just to Renji's right.

"What?" Renji asked roughly as the owner of the voice stepped into the moonlight, it was Renji's old Sempai, from when he was in the 11th Division, Ikkaku Madarame and just by the solemn look on the bald mans face, told Renji that something was indeed wrong, but what Renji didn't know, but he was almost sure that it had something to do with Saita.

"Saita, she's not here… and she won't be for awhile." Ikkaku told his friend slash old student with a nearly emotionless face, but his voice told of the worry he was feeling, for the young blonde enigma, who despite being a royal pain in the ass, was still his friend and he worried about her like an older brother would, just like everyone else felt about her in Division 11; She was like everyone's little sister, well all accept that pink haired idiot of a Fukutaicho, who thought of Saita as an older sister, but everyone one, including Taicho Zaraki, even if he didn't show it ninety-nine percent of the time, he still cared for her.

"Why, what happened?" Renji asked impassively, although inside he was worried and he had reason to: Ikkaku Madarame had only been like this one time before and it was because Saita had been severely injured by three Hollow's.

Renji could clearly remember everything that ha happened that day. It was so many years ago, but it had been Saita's first mission to the Living World. It was just supposed to be a simple "exterminate-and-disappear" mission, with only one weak Hollow, but it had been a trap and Saita had been out numbered and out powered and she had been in the Infirmary for a week, although she was supposed to be there for three, but Saita wasn't having any of it, but the reaction of all of the 11th Division as enough to know that all of them cared about her, even back then when her temper was at its worst.

"No one really knows that, except the Taicho of the 4th Division and the Fukutaicho of the 9th Division, and they aren't telling anyone." Ikkaku muttered angrily more so to himself than Renji, but Renji heard him loud and clear, but it just seemed to confuse the redheaded man even more so than before.

"So, Saita is in the Infirmary?" Renji stated more than asked, with an impassive tone as his posture stiffened and his face became as impassive as his voice.

"Yes, but no one is allowed to see her. Not even the members of her own Division." Ikkaku told the stiff redhead with a serious tone; he knew exactly what Renji would do; he wasn't stupid, he knew that Renji and Saita had been friendly lately and when Renji cared about someone, he always felt responsible for them in one way or another, even if he never showed it.

"That doesn't matter, I'll see you later Ikkaku. There's somewhere I need to be." Renji told his old Sempai stoically, before abruptly turning away and walking off into the night.

His destination… the Infirmary.


	15. Chapter 14: Past Love, Past Regrets

Chapter Fourteen:

Past Love and Past Regrets…

Back in the Infirmary, Saita was still sleeping, but the peacefulness had left her once again, as now her dreams had become memories. Memories that she didn't want to remember, but since her argument with Shuhei, she couldn't stop the memories… and part of her didn't want to, because no matter how much she denied ever loving the man, her heart would never let that become true.

The first memory was perhaps the worst one. It was the night she had walked away from the 9th Division Fukutaicho's love, never to return. A part of her did regret leaving him. That part of her always wondered _"what if" _and that was one part of her that no one, except Shuhei Hisagi had ever seen before. It was a part of her that was so very different from her usual everyday self. A part of her that, while she was with Shuhei, wanted to know what it was like to be in love, get married and one day become a mother… but those were thoughts that she hardly ever pondered over anymore, yet still those pestering thoughts were always in the back of her mind.

"Promise me that you'll be careful and come back to me Saita. I don't want to ever loose you." Shuhei said as he stood beside Saita, as they stared unblinkingly out into the ruby and ginger sunset.

"I can't." Saita whispered, as she slowly removed her soft gaze from the slowly fading sun to Shuhei's dark eyes, which held such love and deep affection.

"Why? Why can you not make this one small promise to me?" Shuhei asked bewildered. Saita had never had such a distant look in her eyes before, and for over a week now she had been avoiding him more and more and it worried the Fukutaicho. His love was fading away from him swiftly, just like the setting sun in front of them and he was powerless to stop it.

"Because, Shuhei…" Saita softly began, "Promises are swiftly carried away upon the lightest breeze, never to return." When she finished speaking she kept her eyes locked to the puzzled Fukutaicho's own for a minute, before she calmly turned back to the fading sun and watched as it finally disappeared.

"I must go now, goodbye Shuhei." Saita said calmly before she turned and walked away, letting Shuhei's hand easily slip away from hers, as she disappeared into the darkness, leaving the 9th Division Fukutaicho alone to his thoughts.

'_She… She's not coming back. She has left… for good.' _Shuhei now knew what the meaning of his loves vague words now meant and within the darkness a lone tear rolled down his cheek.

As one memory faded into another and another and so on; Saita wished with all of her soul that, she would wake from her dreaded memories, but she couldn't, something wouldn't let her. Perhaps, this was her punishment for all of her sins? She didn't know the answer but she knew that she would rather face a thousand Hollows before facing her nightmares, but alas she had no choice in the matter, as her memories flooded her mind in an almost drowning like fashion. She was drowning in her memories, with no life raft and no one to save her. She was completely alone.

'_Help me… someone, anyone… please!' _Saita cried out in her unconscious mind, sounding like a frightened child that was trapped in the darkness alone and in a way, she was. To Saita, the dark and her memories were surrounding her, suffocating her, much like being buried alive and she started feeling claustrophobic, but there was no escape.

Outside of the Infirmary, a cautious Renji Abarai silently approached the front entrance. He never left the surround building's shadows, though he wasn't quite sure why he was being so sneaky. After all he was only going to check up on his rival, to see when their next sparring match would be. Or that was what he tried to convince himself that it was his only reason, but it wasn't and he knew it.

'_Tch, this is ridiculous. I shouldn't be skulking in the shadows like some mangy cat. This is completely pointless!'_The redheaded Fukutaicho growled to himself irritably, yet he never stepped out of the shadows. Though he stopped just as he reached a closed window, trying to sense the blonde enigma of a Shinigami's spiritual energy and locate her exact position in the Infirmary so that he could avoid answering anyone's annoying questions.

'_There you are.' _Renji smirked when he finally pinpointed his rival's location, which wasn't too far from where he currently was. So finally knowing just where Saita was, he silently entered the Infirmary and made his way towards Saita's room.


	16. Chapter 15: Common Ground

Chapter Fifteen:

Common Ground

It only took the 6th Division Fukutaicho a few minutes to find the correct room. Slowly Renji slid open the room's door, so he wouldn't awaken Saita or alert anyone else to his presence. He really didn't want to awaken Saita above all of the other things though and the redheaded Fukutaicho didn't particularly want to answer anyone's irritating questions, but having Saita see him there would be worse. He knew exactly what she'd do and say, so he was just going to sneak in and checkup on her condition then leave, successfully avoiding a long and annoying banter with Saita. No one would ever know he was even there, or so he hoped.

Surprisingly, the normally brash red-haired Fukutaicho could, when needed or rather when he wanted to, be very stealthy at times; which had already been proven when he didn't get caught as soon as he stepped into the Infirmary. The 4th Division Captain was known for being a normally soft-spoken, polite, and caring person but the older woman could be rather intimidating at times and Renji had an assumption that she could put every Shinigami in the whole of Soul Society in their place with very little effort.

'_Eh, just another example of how bizarre women can be.' _Just like the majority of the world's men human or not, Renji Abarai was another man who was beyond vexed by the female species and it didn't look like his opinion would change anytime soon.

The room was surprisingly almost entirely dark, with only a sparse beam of moonlight shining down on the blonde girl's face and upper torso, the silvery light came from the slightly open window and Renji was thankful that someone had left it cracked otherwise he'd be… "_Fishing-in-the-dark_" as some of the humans he had once overheard talking, had called it.

Quietly and cautiously walking closer to his blonde haired rival's bed, Renji noticed that Saita's black hoodie, along with her black and white distressed pyramid belt, her black ankle boots and her blue and silver vintage aviator sunglasses had been placed neatly on the floor by her bedside. Apparently one of the female members of the 4th Division had been here; Renji had a gut feeling that it had been the 4th Division Captain, Retsu Unohana. The older woman had always had a certain motherly like caring for the wild blonde girl that now occupied a room in the Infirmary.

With furrowed brows and a sideways halfhearted smirk, Renji lightly ran his fingertip on the outline of Saita's sunglasses. Renji had always wondered why his expensive glasses always ended up broken, while her cheep human made one's had never even been scratched even when they had fallen off of her head during one of their more intense fights. Saita had once told him that the reason they broke easily was simply because they were expensive and that he should invest his half-a-year paycheck into a nice cheep pair like her own; although at the time she had said it just to gloat over the fact that she had purposely broken his new pair, but when he tried to revenge her crime by breaking her own it didn't even leave a mark on them, much to Renji's chagrin at the time.

That had been back when they were both students of Ikkaku Madarame, back when they were fierce rivals and back when they were "_aggravating adolescent punks_" as their once upon a time Sempai had called them with both irritation and mild affection, although it was more of irritation than affection, but that didn't stop either one of them from fighting and being reprimanded at least six times a day and only if they had been separated due to their different assignments that Ikkaku Madarame had given them.

While the redheaded Fukutaicho was reflecting over his past with the sleeping blonde enigma, he didn't notice that the young blonde, who was sleeping very unpleasantly mere inches from him, had tears trailing down her pale cheek. The salty water that leaked from her closed eyelids was caused by her nightmares, as they continued to relentlessly plague her mind, in an almost torturing fashion, as she called from within her unconscious mind out for someone to save her.

Suddenly, Renji was booted from his memories when he heard a soft noise. It almost sounded like a sigh and yet it also sounded like a soft choking nose, much like someone who was crying would make. With furrowed brows Renji looked up from the silver and blue sunglasses and moved his puzzled gaze to the only other occupant of the room. Only to be completely stunned and go wide-eyed moments later, when he saw the clear salty stream roll down Saita's pale face. She was crying, again. Despite being a "_bad-ass_" of sorts Renji had yet to not become slightly worried when his blonde rival shed tears. Saita was never one to cry and he had only ever seen her cry once before, when he had learned of her past, after he unintentionally made her relive the worst part of her secret past.

'_Saita…' _Renji's mind whispered unbelievingly as he stared down at the unconscious crying blonde. He couldn't for the life of him, wrap his mind around the fact that Saita was crying yet again. _'What's happening to you?'_

Slowly and very cautiously, Renji reached out and hesitated for a moment, before his right thumb softly wiped the warm salty liquid away. As soon as his skin touched hers, Renji immediately felt Saita's body shudder, almost like she wasn't used to being touched very often and it was probably true. Saita had never really liked being touched and Renji knew why, but he also immediately saw that it wasn't just the unfamiliar contact that was making Saita tremble. She was scared and her quivering bottom lip proved that fact, along with her uneven breathing. She was having a nightmare, Renji confirmed, still in a small state of shock.

"Saita, wake up." Renji quietly called to the sleeping blonde, trying to rouse her from her nightmares. Renji's voice was much too quiet for his liking, but he didn't want to startle the sleeping girl or alert anyone to his presence.

With an irritated sigh, Renji bit the side of his cheek and stared down at the still crying girl and sighing quietly once again, before deciding that he'd just makeup an excuse if someone heard him. "Saita," Renji started in a louder tone, as he gently grabbed a hold of the blonde's shoulders and gently shook her.

"Saita, wake up! If you don't wake up right now I swear I'll-" Renji growled, irritated when the only movement that came from the sleeping blonde was the light fluttering of her long dark eyelashes and a soft weary sigh.

"Saita?" Renji asked when the blonde's eyes started to slowly open. The blonde girl's hazel blue gaze was foggy when they met his caramel ones, as Saita seemingly stared straight through the redheaded man beside her.

"Saita, are you alright?" Renji asked a little more roughly than he initially intended, but apparently it was enough to knock Saita out of her haze. Saita slowly blinked several times before her hazel gaze became clear of the fog that had been caused by sleep and tears.

"Yeah… I'm alright." Saita sighed deeply, happy that someone had awakened her from her nightmares, even though she could still clearly see every image. But that didn't matter right now. She was awake. She was safe.

Renji just watched as the usually spunky and cocky girl as she lay, unmoving. The only movement was her soft breathing and the occasional blink of her eyes. It seemed like Saita was deep in thought, most likely about her nightmares. As she lay there in the soft bed lost in her thoughts, Renji saw that the tears had slowed, but they hadn't completely halted and it seemed like she didn't even notice.

"You're safe now." Renji whispered as his knuckles gently wiped away the rest of Saita's tears. It was almost like the tall redhead didn't have any control over his body, as he moved closer to the unaware girl. Renji knew that he's never forget the look in Saita's hazel gaze or the look upon her pale visage for as long as he lived. In that one moment Renji saw a glimpse of the girl she once was and possibly the woman that she truly was and could be.

'_She's so beautiful…' _His mind whispered and for once Renji wouldn't deny that Saita, his top rival, his enigma, and most trusted confidant, was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. He wouldn't deny his quiet but most pestering thoughts anymore, he cared for Saita a lot more than just as a friend would and right now, and he just didn't care about what anyone else would say or do. Nothing mattered in that moment, nothing but the mysterious blonde.

"Renji?" Saita asked softly suddenly coming back to the present, when she noticed that the spiky redhead was really close to her face and that he had her right shoulder in a soft but firm grasp with his left hand, while his right hand was wiping tears from her cheek, with a softness that she had never known he possessed.

Renji couldn't think of anything to say, his mind just went blank not know what exactly to say to the curious blonde. So instead of making a complete idiot of himself, he smiled. It wasn't a fake smile or even a smug smile; it was a pure smile of trust, kindness and hidden affection. It was probably the first real smile that the redhead had given since his childhood and even then smiles from him were very rare.

From the softness of her normally firm gaze, to the mirroring swirl of emotions that clouded her hazel blue gaze. Renji and Saita knew that they had finally found congruent ground with one another. No words were spoken, but they were not needed. The peaceful silence that was held between the two former enemies spoke more than their words ever could, as Saita returned Renji's look with her own.


	17. Chapter 16: Real or Rumor

Chapter Sixteen:

Real or Rumor

The next morning, when Isane Kotetsu went to check up on Saita's condition, she was a little more than shocked to find no trace of the young woman anywhere in the entire room. The bed was made to perfection, no wrinkles or even a smudge and all of Saita's belongings were gone. It was almost as if Saita had never been there. The window was even left cracked open, not an inch more or less.

"I see she has taken her leave, a bit sooner than I imagined. She must be feeling better." Retsu Unohana commented quietly, when she suddenly appeared in the now empty Infirmary room.

"Yes, but shouldn't we go and bring her back? I mean she was dead to the world yesterday and her body hasn't even begun to recuperate yet. She might have another relapse and actually badly hurt herself. What should we do, Retsu-Taicho?" Isane asked in a slight panic, inwardly chastising the wild young blonde for her impetuous behavior.

"No, Isane-san it is alright. Young Saita-san will be fine; I can assure you of that. She may be a bit on the brash side, but she knows what her body's limits are and she won't exceed them unless she is in a battle." Retsu calmly and reassuringly told her Lieutenant, before turning to leave the vacant room, thinking, _'Do be careful Saita-san.'_

By the time that the sun had arisen, the whole of Seireitei had heard of the Infirmary trip that Saita had involuntarily made and in the arms of the 3rd Division Lieutenant, Izuru Kira. As soon as that tidbit of information had reached their ears, the lower ranks had gone wild with the possibilities and their own versions of what had conspired that day. Much to the Captain's and Lieutenant's annoyance, for they were the only ones who had been told the real truth, although some minor details had been left out for certain peoples privacy.

"That's just stupid! There's no way that our 4th seat would ever have any kind of relationship with the 3rd Division's wimpy Lieutenant!" A lower, unseated member of the 11th Division yelled angrily at a group of gossiping girls, when he overheard them suggest that Saita was having a secret affair with the blonde, male Lieutenant. The girl's had immediately ran off, scared out of their minds, but the man's outburst had only caused more speculations to arise in each of the young women's minds.

"Eck, he's right you know. Saita-chan wouldn't be with that pitiful excuse of a Lieutenant, he's too scared of her, right Ikkaku?" Yumichika asked his hairless friend, as they quietly observed the reactions of the lower unseated members of their squad. The reactions were very predictable and expected, although they had been told the "_true_" happenings of yesterday, all of the smarter members of the 11th Division knew that a lot of details had been left out.

"Yeah, that Lieutenant isn't her type anyways. He couldn't handle her wild nature or her temper." Ikkaku snickered, inwardly picturing what would happen to the blonde Lieutenant if Saita was to become angered with him. It was actually very funny, but painful for the Lieutenant, when suddenly another Lieutenant appeared in the blonde's place and instead of getting the crap beat out of him, he fought back, but only enough to defend himself and keep Saita's punches and kicks away from himself, before finally restraining the hot tempered blonde, without breaking her spirit.

'_Heh, yeah they're a perfect match for one another. I just wonder if they know it yet.' _Ikkaku thought to himself quietly, wondering where their blonde 4th seat had ran off to and whether or not the redheaded Lieutenant was with her. He knew that when Saita caught wind of the rumors she would attack any giggling girl that she encountered, that was brave and stupid enough to not run and hide until her temper sedated itself.

"The rumors are quite numerous and annoying, are they not Hisagi-san." Kaname Tōsen commented in an unidentifiable tone of voice, as he and his silent Lieutenant made their way towards their barracks, only to hear the giggled rumors that seemingly came from every direction.

"Yes, I agree Tōsen-Taicho." The dark haired Lieutenant replied with a tentative nod of his head. Shūhei hadn't quite gotten over the new rumors that were spreading like wild-fire, although he knew that they were bogus, he still found it quite interesting that Izuru had taken Saita to the Infirmary and that he had visited her after he himself had left. Perhaps, there was a small bit of truth to the wild rumors, but he couldn't be sure.

"I think I'll have to ask Kira-kun about these rumors, when I see him at lunch today." Rangiku Matsumoto giggled with a sly smile, as she walked into her chibi, frost haired Captain's office. Only to see the child-Captain busying himself in his numerous stacks of paperwork, as usual; sometimes she wondered if he ever thought of anything other than work and she swore that her Captain was fun deficient, as he had never even smiled or laughed since they first met.

The snow haired young Captain just grunted softly and continued sorting through his abundant stacks of papers. In his mind, the rumors were worse than annoying and in his opinion, whatever was or was not going on between the 3rd Division Lieutenant and the 4th seat of the 11th Division was their own and it did not concern him or anyone else for that matter. The thought of those two together was just extremely dim-witted, as they couldn't have been more opposite from each other than summer and winter.

"Well, well Kira-san, so that's what ya have been keepin' from me." Gin Ichimaru teased his blushing and speechless Lieutenant, who was at the moment the exact example of a "_fish-out-of-water_" as it was called. The poor blonde couldn't even speak, he had been like this since he had overheard a group lower level shinigami girls from his Division, talking about all of the rumors that were floating around the Soul Society about him and Saita-san.

"N-no sir, Ichimaru-Taicho, it's not true! I haven't! We haven't, Saita-san would never… She would never think of me that way. I'm a coward in her eyes; I'm not good enough for her." Izuru finally regained the ability to speak, only to trail off to where his Captain could just barely make out what he was murmuring; the blush still stained his pale skin, but sadness and regret could clearly be seen in his clear blue irises, his voice also held distain for his lack of courage.

"Eh, don't worry about it Kira-san. That Saita-san is very lovely to look at, any man would say so. Her only fault is her lack of manners and that sharp witted tongue of hers… and it's okay to be a little scared of her, she is a bit fierce at times. Who knows, maybe one day she'll see the real you and the rumors might become real." Gin told his depressed and angry Lieutenant with a smile and a pat on the shoulder, before they continued on with their previous endeavors.

"Y-yeah, maybe so, maybe one day…" Izuru muttered to himself quietly, a defiant spark lighting up his once depressing gaze; maybe his Taicho was right, anything was possible and if that was true then one day, he'd be able to prove to Saita. To himself, that he wasn't a coward.

Meanwhile in a forest outside the walls of Seireitei, Saita watched as the wild Sakura trees swayed in the soft warm breeze. Some of the beautiful pink blossoms couldn't bear the wind's pressure and left there branches, causing the air around her to fill with pink petals, softly swirling in the gentle wind. Saita had been here in this small glade since she had departed from the Infirmary.

'_Beautiful…' _It was the only word that the young woman could think of, as she switched her soft gaze from the swirling pink peals to the vast species of blooming wild flowers around her. Truly this place was beautiful and the calming air that the meadow radiated around her being was enough to tame even her wild spirit. Saita had left the Infirmary early that morning, so she could be alone with her rampant thoughts and feelings.

The events that happened between her and Renji were still fresh in her minds eye. The uncharacteristic softness in his eyes and touch was enough to make her head spin and every time she though of it, her heartbeat sped-up and stopped at the same time, or so that's what it felt like to her. It was a strange feeling and she had never felt it before, even with Shūhei. This foreign feeling made her question herself a lot; she had never been so unsure of herself or her feelings before and it scared her a little.

"How long are you planning to hide out here and avoid everyone?" A familiar rough voice asked from behind her, but Saita didn't even blink. She had felt his approach though his spiritual energy and it caused her heart to stop and speed-up again.

"I'm not avoiding anyone. I just needed some time to myself, Mutt." Saita told the redheaded man, without turning around. She knew that if she looked at him right now, her eyes would give away every emotion that she was feeling… like she had last night.

Renji just grunted in slight irritation at the familiar "_pet_" name, but he didn't move any closer to the blonde haired woman. In all truthfulness, Renji was just as confused as Saita about his new feelings towards his rival. Last night's events were still fresh in his mind as well and unbeknownst to the redhead his heart was mimicking Saita's in everyway. These new emotions were strange but not all together unpleasant, but they made him wonder.

"Why won't you face me?" Renji asked after a short time of silence between him and his blonde companion.

"… I can't." Saita replied softly after a momentary silence. For some reason she couldn't get a grasp on her emotions and just tell the nosy redhead off, like she once could. She silently cursed her unstable female emotions.

"Can't or won't? What in the hell's wrong with you Saita? What happened to the woman who wouldn't let anyone close to her, what happened to the anger, to the fire? Damn it! It's like you're afraid of me or something." Renji paused as soon as he saw Saita's back tense, with his last sentence. He blinked twice and uncrossed his arms in shock at his new discovery.

Saita knew just by the silence, that Renji had seen her tense at his last words. He knew the truth now and it was his next move. Saita just hoped that whatever was said and done between them wouldn't be their ruin.

Slowly and cautiously Renji approached the tense blonde and stopped a few steps behind her, waiting; waiting for her to do something, anything. But when she did nothing but breath softly, he took it upon himself to take the next crucial step. With a deep calming breath Renji slowly reached out and gently grasped the tense blonde's wrist and turned her around to face him. Surprisingly she hadn't fought him, like he had though she would, but it didn't matter. Her cooperation only eased his mind about what he was going to do next.

He had hoped to look into her eyes when she faced him, but she had lowered her gaze to the ground, not wanting to look him directly in the eye. When she was fully facing him, Renji released his grasp on her wrist and with a soft hand; he cupped her face in his hands and brought her eyes to meet his own. Renji didn't say anything as he studied the rampant emotions that ran through Saita's hesitant and unsure hazel-blue irises. Many of the same emotions that he had seen last night were in her eyes, but he also saw a few new ones.

"Why are you scared of me, Saita?" Renji asked quietly, truly curious as to why the once hot tempered and unafraid blonde, who was now trembling in his soft hold. Had he done something unknowingly to make her this way?

Saita's gaze flickered from his questioning gaze to Sakura blossom petal that landed on the tall redhead's shoulder. Saita sighed quietly, still not removing her gaze from the Sakura petal and opened her mouth to speak, "It's not you… per say. It's more like the way you make me… feel. I can't concentrate when you're around and you're always in my thoughts, so I never have any peace. Last night didn't help either."

Renji just started at the unusually quiet blonde for a moment, his brow furrowed in thought, before a halfhearted teasing grin crossed his features. "Heh, I didn't know I was that good-looking, to leave such a deep imprint in your mind, Blondie."

Instantly Saita's head snapped up. Her hazel-blue eyes were as wide as saucers, at the teasing tone and the insult that the redhead had just used, when she had just confessed such a serious and private thing to him. When her angry, insulted and slight watery gaze met Renji's, her eyes instantly softened at the stare and smile he was sending her. By the look in his golden-brown eyes, Saita knew that he was just trying to rid the both of them of the tense and uncomfortable air that had fallen between them.

"You're an ass Renji, you damn Mutt!" Saita growled, before removing his hands from her person and halfheartedly punching the grinning redhead in the chest and walking away from him. Successfully hiding her smile from his view; she knew that was exactly what he wanted, to make her smile and damn him it worked! Saita breathed in deeply, the cool, fresh air filling her lungs and easing the nervousness and the heavy feeling of dread from her heart and mind. She knew now that the new feelings that had developed between them wouldn't ruin their new found friendship or their long standing rivalry, even though they cared about one another, they could still be themselves.

"Hey get back here Blondie! You still owe me a sparring match!" Renji called to the retreating blonde, his hand gripping his Zanpakuto handle.

Saita stopped in her tracks and slowly turned her head enough for Renji to see the devious smirk on her lips, before she slowly turned around to face him; her hand was already gripping Seijakusenshi in a tight grasp. She and Seijakusenshi were more than ready to face off against their long time rival's again; it had been a while since they had a good fight and from the look of things Renji and Zabimaru felt the same.

"Are you sure that you want to fight me, Renji; because I won't be held responsible for your injuries and your defeat will look horrible in your Captain's eye, as I just got out of the Hospital." Saita warned the eager and battle ready redhead, with a mocking smile.

"Heh, I won't loose, Saita. You can bet on that and I'll even be generous enough to pay your Hospital bill after we're done." Renji returned with a wicked grin, while fully unsheathing Zabimaru and taking a battle stance.

"Eh, is that so? Oh well, you're just hot air anyways." Saita muttered to herself, before unsheathing her Zanpakuto, which was humming quietly, ready for battle.

"I hope you're ready for this Renji, because I ain't going easy on you… Are you ready Seijakusenshi, my Silent Warrior? Our rival is eager to start this battle, but we're going to win!" Saita called out before flash-stepping towards the awaiting Renji Abarai, who matched her wickedly cocky smirk with his own.

This battle was surely going to be one for the records and it just proved that times never change, just because you begin to fall in-love with someone, especially if they're your rival.


	18. Chapter 17: Flirty Teasing

Chapter Seventeen:

Flirty Teasing, Playing Around And A… Date?

Three days had passed since Saita and Renji had their… _"moment"_, as they preferred to call it, in the Sakura Tree meadow. Although they were still themselves, it was quite clear that they were not the same people who had entered the beautiful glade that day. They had come to a silent agreement with one another that, yes there were indeed feelings other than hate and rivalry stirring between them, but neither was really sure if "_love" _was the appropriate word for their unknown feelings. They had considered the term _"lust" _but that was immediately thrown out the window and turned into ashes. Neither one of them felt like they could become _that_ intimate with one another, yet. It was far too soon in both of their minds and it also caused great uneasiness between both of them.

Saita suspected that Renji had conflicting emotions because of Rukia and the feelings that he still had for her, but Saita knew better than to drag them into the conversations. She knew that if she did it would be like throwing dynamite into a kerosene fueled fire, so she wisely kept her mouth shut. Least the eccentric redhead throw an explosive temper tantrum. So now they had arrived at a stalemate as to what exactly they were feeling for one another. It had already caused more migraines than either of them cared for, so they decided to come back to that discussion at a later date; preferably a much, much later date.

"Ouch! Hey stop that, it hurts! Hey! You ass!" Saita hissed angrily, while trying to wriggle away from the pain, as a grinning Renji Abarai applied antiseptic to a shallow, five inch cut that was located on the left hand side of her back, just a few inches above her hipbone.

"Heh, I told you that I wasn't going to be gentle. Besides shouldn't you see Unohana-Taicho for this? I'm not exactly a medical specialist and this'll probably leave a scar." Renji snickered, yet his voice did have a slight undertone of worry. He hadn't meant to scar the wriggling blonde while they were sparring. It wasn't even a real fight, just practice and now here they were. Saita was bleeding and bluntly refused to see Unohana-Taicho, so instead she volunteered Renji to "_Clean up the mess that he'd made" _after he criticized her for not cleaning the wound properly.

"Whatever! I don't care if it leaves a scar, just hurry up before someone comes and sees us!" Saita started out in a growl, but ended her threat with a soft wine of pain, when the redhead _again_ applied more pressure than was necessary to the wound. Saita was just slightly peeved because her rival had gotten in what she preferred to call a "_lucky_" shot and the fact that her pale bare back and most of her abdomen was visible to Renji and the whole of Seireitei. Saita was hardly ever one to become embarrassed, but it was a combination of it being _her_ body and just _who_ was looking and touching it.

The damn redheaded pineapple was gloating over his "_victory_" while she was fuming and embarrassed, but she hid it behind an angry façade. Renji had quickly discovered that Saita always hid her "weak" emotions behind a faux mask of anger and now that he knew, he took every opportunity to embarrass her just to prove to her that the constant death threats and fury were no longer effective upon him. Now he wasn't a sadist in any way, but Renji just couldn't help but laugh at the usually cocky and self-assured blonde whom had, since Renji began doctoring her wound had become un-characteristically fidgety and defensive and if he wasn't seriously mistaken, a soft, faint rosy red blush had made its self at home on her pale countenance.

"Stop laughing and hurry up you damnable Mutt!" Saita hissed, the faint crimson that painted her cheeks becoming darker and darker, as Renji burst out laughing, unable to control himself any longer. It was just too comical in his mind. Saita, _the_ Saita was embarrassed to be seen like this with him. Too bad he didn't have a camera; it would have been such good blackmail material. Oh well, he would get something on her one day.

After Renji had managed to calm himself down enough to wrap Saita's wound properly, the blonde haired girl roughly pulled her shirt back down to cover her once nude back and stomach, before aiming a well-deserved punch to the redhead's gut. Only for him to easily avoid the halfhearted fist with a cocky grin, which just made Saita swiftly turn away from him and cross her arms, carefully avoiding her prickling cut.

"Aww, is little Sai-Sai-chan pouting?" Renji teased using a babyish tone, his grin never faltering. It was too bad for Saita, because Renji now knew her almost as well as she knew herself.

"Shut up." Saita muttered quietly, still turned away from him. She couldn't yet turn around and face the obviously grinning redhead until that damnable blush faded from her cheeks. When she was satisfied that her blush was almost gone, she turned halfway towards the still grinning and so annoying Renji Abarai and murmured a soft, yet sincere, "Thank you".

Renji just smiled in return, before walking up to stand beside the blonde and leaning down till his lips nearly brushed against the hazel-blue eyed woman's ear and whispered huskily, "You're welcome, Saita." His voice flowed over her like pure molten honey and she involuntarily shivered when he drew out the syllables in her name. He was teasing her and Saita hated it, yet her heart fluttered every time he teased or flirted with her. Since the day she had confessed that he made her feel weird, he had used that information to his advantage and had been causing Saita to comically run away from him and hide whenever she spotted him, so she wouldn't have to endure his nonstop teasing. Although they had been acting like flirting pre-teens while in each other's company, neither bothered to stop their childish games. They were having too much fun to care.

Least to say, Saita wasn't quite herself lately, yet strangely she didn't mind. Despite the embarrassment, she also felt so carefree while Renji was around. It was like nothing bad could ever reach her and she loved the feeling. The feeling was similar to how she felt when she was first introduced to the 11th Division; it felt like she had finally found her true place, at his side.

"So," Renji's voice broke Saita out of her thoughts, as he continued to speak, "what are you going to be doing tonight?" His tone held an uninterested air, covered by a thick layer of boredom, yet Saita could tell that the question held more meaning than if he was just asking her out to a sparring match. This was different, more important somehow.

"Well," The blonde haired woman started carefully, using the same tone as the tall redhead beside her had, "I was just planning on going home and sleeping." Saita carefully watched the redhead's expression from her peripheral vision, before speaking again, "But if you had something better hidden up your sleeve, then my plans can be rescheduled for a later time."

Renji just made a soft "hmm" noise, still not turning to face the blonde haired woman at his side. He was a little surprised that she would change her plans for him, after all Saita loved to sleep. To her, it seemed like sleeping and sparring were the only things that mattered in life. But now that they had become more acquainted with one another, things had changed in both of their daily lives. For one, Saita wasn't sleeping as much as she used to. Yet despite her lack of sleep she wasn't any more irritable than usual, in fact she seemed a lot _less_ ill-tempered than she had been. She still threatened him, but they were all hot air and nothing more. And Renji had changed himself, though his changes were a lot more subtle than the blonde's.

"Yo, mutt you in there or has your pea brain finally ran off and left you?" Saita waved her hand around in front of the dazed redhead's face. Her facial features appeared to be slightly annoyed, yet her eyebrow was cocked in a questioning fashion and her pale lips were eased into an amused smirk.

Renji's features were instantly pulled into an un-amused scowl, as his narrowed brown gaze met Saita's clearly amused hazel-blue. Saita's only reaction to Renji's annoyance was to raise both of her eyebrows in a faux innocent gesture that plainly said "what?". Renji just rolled his eyes at Saita's childishness, before swiftly lashing out and pulling the blonde into a firm headlock, before she could even retaliate.

"H-hey! What the hell Renji?" The blonde yelled in surprise and anger, as she vigorously struggled to remove her head and neck from the redhead's strong embrace. Renji barked out a very amused laugh, followed by a devious smirk as the small woman desperately tried to free herself. He face was a hilarious mix of anger, mortification and distress. She hadn't expected that action. "Let go of me, you damn pineapple headed monkey!"

"Pineapple headed monkey?" Renji asked with an arched brow, he hadn't heard _that_ insult before, although instead of being angered by it, he was amused enough to laugh. Saita really was one of a kind; though he doubted that the Soul Society could handle another person like Saita, as she was more than enough to keep everyone on their toes and at their wits end. This original Saita was more than enough for him to contend with, although it was much easier to deal with her now that they were "flirty-friends".

An unexpected and very random question suddenly popped into his mind, _"What would Saita's kids be like?"_ The mere though made him visibly flinch. If Saita was like _this,_ then her kids would be… Oh, he really didn't want even picture what her children would be like. It would be a nightmare and the Soul Society would never heal from that explosive addition. Silently, Renji sent a good luck well-wish to whoever the future Husband and Father was. The guy would really need it and as many as people could spare.

"Damn it! Stop spacing out and let me go!" Saita's growled demand roused Renji from his wandering thoughts and he turned his attention back to the still struggling blonde, with a faux unknowing look plastered on his face. His eyes were practically dancing with withheld laughter, as their eyes met.

"So, as I was saying before I was distracted-" Renji didn't even bother to stop talking, as Saita sarcastically muttered something along the lines of "Distracted my ass, you spacer" while he was talking, "I was wondering if you wanted to get something to eat, with me tonight." When he was finished speaking, he silent congratulated himself for not breaking eye contact, stuttering or any other embarrassing things, while he asked the temperamental blond out for a date.

Saita instantly froze in her awkward and uncomfortable position. Her eyes were as wide as dinner plates as she stared up at the tall redhead, not believing that she had heard him correctly. _'Had he… had he just asked her out to dinner, as in a-a… date?'_ Saita's mind was racing with questions, while her body, mouth and voice were frozen.

After a couple of minutes of being temporarily petrified, Saita finally managed to croak out a word, "Huh?"

Renji nearly slapped himself, is that _all_ that Saita could come up with, a "huh"? He had just asked her out to a potential date and that's all she could spit out! Damn, had he had the worst luck with this woman! Well, he mused he guessed that he would be stumped if she had asked him out. Clearing his throat, Renji repeated his pervious question only slower, so her brain could comprehend what it was that he was saying.

Saita blinked up at him owlishly a couple of times, before her face fell into a look of embarrassment, understanding and wonder. Her previous struggling to escape from Renji's sudden attack was fully forgotten now, as she tried to come up with a more intelligent answer than her previous, "Um, sure? Yeah I'll go." She finally managed to speak without fully sounding like an idiot.

"Alright, then I'll meet you at your place at 9." Renji nodded trying to keep from grinning. She had said "yes", after he had to coax a coherent answer from her. Well, things were certainly looking up in their situation now.

After a minute, Renji finally realized that he still had Saita in a headlock and by the look of her face, she had completely forgotten. With an impish grin, now plastered fully on his lips, the redhead suddenly reached around with his free arm and carefully flipped the unaware blonde over his shoulder. He immediately began to walk away as soon as Saita was situated on his shoulder. Saita let out a sharp yelp at the unexpected action and soon began to struggle for freedom from Renji's hold again, only for all of her struggling to be in vain, as he carried on walking acting like her struggling was nonexistent.

"Hey! Put me down! I swear that I'll shave your head while you sleep, if you don't put me down! Renji Abarai you bastard, put me down!" Saita continuously threatened and yelled as the offending redhead carried on with whatever he was intending to do, while Saita was unwillingly tagged along with him. As they continued to walk deeper into Seireitei, many Shinigami stopped what they were previously doing and watched the two in wonderment, as the 6th Division Lieutenant waved to the few Shinigami that he was acquainted with, seemingly ignorant of the angrily yelling and wildly thrashing blonde haired woman on his shoulder.


	19. Chapter 18: Seeking Help

Chapter Eighteen:

Seeking Help for the Date

"Just what in the hell have I gotten my self into?" Saita muttered quietly with a dark scowl, as she looked over her new attire. A look of pure distain reflected upon the surface of the large full body mirror. Maybe she should not have asked Niito to help with her with her date preparations. She knew that the dark haired man could be a _little_ excessive at times, but _this_ was entirely on another level, even for him. She looked like a mix between a geisha and a china doll.

"I think you should dress like this more often." A cheerful male voice sounded, breaking Saita's thoughts and attention away from her new, disgustingly bright clothing and doll-like appearance. "It's a nice change from your usual lackluster attire. I can guarantee that no one will recognize you now." The man chuckled quietly, as the beautifully made-over blonde haired woman sent him a death glare. He was certain that if she could walk properly and reach her Zanpakuto then he would surely be a dead man. Luckily, for him, Saita could barely walk, let alone fight in her new cloths.

"Just what in the hell were you thinking, Niito-baka? I look like a damn Edo period Geisha, you bastard!" Her dark rimmed hazel-blue eyes flashed like unhindered lightning, as she rounded on the unfazed male who was looking over his handy work with a satisfied grin. Yes, she did slightly resemble a Geisha now, but to be fair Niito had held back, for her sake while doing her makeover. He had wanted to elaborate a little more with the make-up, hair and clothing, but still he was not disappointed.

"Unless you speak, that is." The dark haired man muttered as an afterthought, ignoring the fuming woman's angry outburst. She could not attack him now anyways, her blue floral printed summer Yukata was restricting her movement. If he had it his way, Niito would have picked something a little more bright, but the Yukata had a summer feel to it, so he let it keep. The fun part would be next, Saita had never worn Geta sandals before and seeing as how she could barely move in a light Yukata, without tripping over herself seeing her walking in Geta would be priceless.

"I hate you." The blonde haired woman growled out, seething, or rather what Niito would have called pouting. Indeed, she did have the appearance of a pouting child who had been denied her favorite candy, as she tried to ignore his very existence, by scowling at her new appearance. Despite her words and actions of anger, Niito could see a tiny spark of curiosity light in her eyes. This was probably the first time she ever saw herself as a woman, instead of "just one of the guys." Saita was a tomboy, a fighter and nothing would ever change that, but even tomboys and fighters can have their feminine moments and this was hers.

"Saita-chan, no matter what you say, I'm glad that you came to see me for this." The dark, spiky haired male told the observing woman softly, knowing that she truly did not hate him as she had claimed. Instantly her hard hazel-blue eyes left the mirror and met Niito's dark, navy blue gaze. Saita's hard gaze instantly softened with mixed emotions as she realized the look that the dark haired male was sending her. Saita realized, that strangely enough, Niito thought of himself as her elder brother and not just a casual friend.

Saita just nodded her head in silent agreement, before moving her gaze back to the mirror. When she had seen that unfamiliar emotion in his eyes, her throat had closed up and her voice had completely failed her. She wanted to cry, for several reasons, but she would not allow herself to shed tears and ruin two hours of hard work. It was a demanding, not to mention tiring process for both her and Niito to paint-up her face as it currently was. Though it still caused her heart to clench and her eyes sting, at how utterly pathetic she was; it had been so long since she saw unconditional love in someone's eyes that she had shamefully forgotten the emotion an the feelings that came with it. Niito did not love her as spouse or lover would, he loved her as a sibling, as family. Something that they both had lost and had now finally found again, in one another.

Silently, Saita agreed that despite her outward detestation of her appearance, she really did not look that bad. It was just different for the norm, very different, but not unattractive in any way. _'I'm glad I came too, Niito-san.' _Saita mutely agreed, her gaze now soft, as she began to truly study her new appearance, while remembering her nerve-racking indecision to come and see her old friend and ask for his help.

"So what brings a 4th seat Shinigami here, to the Rukongai of all places?" An inquisitive, rough toned male voice asked, as the female blonde haired woman quietly slinked through the back alleys of the Rukongai. Why the female Shinigami was in the Rukongai of all places was a mystery, even to herself. She had other things that were far more important than this self-assigned stealth-information gathering operation. Like her supposed _"date"_ which she had nothing to do with. Damn, that weird redheaded pineapple and his ever-changing moods.

Saita's head instantly swerved to her left, where the voice had come from, only to spot a tall, dark haired male staring at her with a questioning gaze. As soon as Saita's hazel blue eyes met his dark ones, she sighed in relief, as her muscles relaxed. The man did not possess any type of threat to her or her top secret "mission".

With an irritated tone Saita spoke, "You're either very brave or very stupid to sneak up on a seated officer; especially if their presence needs to remain a secret, eh Niito-san." The blonde haired woman cocked a slender flaxen eyebrow, the soft threats not going unnoticed between the two Soul Society residents.

Suddenly the dark haired man burst out into hysterical laughter, as if some one had told an incredibly hilarious joke. Saita scowled at the man's lack of maturity, her left eyebrow twitching in irritation as the man continued his hyena laugh. After another couple of minutes of nonstop laughing, which quickly turned into gasps and near hyperventilation, the man finally ceased his hysterical fit of laughter. When the spiky black haired man looked up and caught the look of pure irritation that had taken of the blonde woman's features, he could no help but let a soft chuckle escape. The shinigami woman had a very expressional face. It was actually somewhat cute, but for the sake of keeping his tongue, he never made any mention of it.

As he wiped away a few stray tears from his momentary lapse of sanity, a wide cat-like grin swiftly made its way to his face, "So what brings you to my humble home, Saita-chan? It's been what two, three, almost five years since I last heard from you?"

"Three and a half, actually," Saita stated wit a semi-hard tone, as she shifted her body weight from both legs to her left hip. Her arms crossed over her chest, in an instinctive protective gesture, though there really was nothing to fear from the man. She was just, nervous, though she would never admit it aloud.

"Ah." Niito grinned sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck when he noticed Saita's reaction to his over estimation. Finally taking a good look at the stiff blonde haired woman who now stood before him, Niito noticed that she had changed her clothing style since their last meeting. Her clothes weren't the only thing that was different, her hair was styled differently as well; her beautiful dirty blonde, knee length hair was now stuffed up in a messy bun, making the woman look like she had a bird's nest set on top of her head. It looked to him like she had not even bothered with brushing it in a long while either.

'_What a pity_,' the dark haired man quietly sighed. He had always loved her hair; it was just so thick and healthy, well it had been. It had always shined with an almost unnatural smoothness, almost as if it were made of water. Now, however it looked like she had just let it go to hell without a second thought and her new choice of clothing was a tad unflattering for a female. However, he did think that the clothes and many modern day accessories screamed rebel and tomboy. Which fit her personality to a T, but it was a little excessive.

"What's with that look, Niito? You look like someone just killed your favorite pet or something." Saita asked after she caught the saddened look, which had suddenly taken over his usually jovial features. Niito Takaya was an old acquaintance of hers and he was one of the few people that she actually trusted, though the man had some weird hobbies and interests. She just brushed his weirdness off and took him as he was.

"Oh, nothing, anyways what did you come to see me for?" Niito asked in a happier tone, quickly hiding his grief behind a large smile. Yes, Niito had a strange fetish with women's hair and Saita's had once been his favorite. Therefore, in his mind he was entitled to be a bit grievous over the loss of such a once perfect example of what a woman's hair should look like.

"Oh, yeah, well," Saita muttered nervously, while shifting her weight again, before she suddenly found the ground very interesting and worthy of her entire attention. When she continued her sentence she spoke to the ground and not the dark haired man, "I need your help with," Saita again paused, before starting over, "I need your help with my… date tonight." There, she finally said it, yet somehow she still felt as embarrassed as she had before.

Silence, rung out like a deafening echoing of a fired bullet and Saita was too embarrassed to look up and see what had happened to the usually motor-mouthed man, so she just waited in silence. He would say something, eventually. After all, if there was one thing one could count on it was Takaya Niito's long windedness.

"Date? Did you just say that you have a date tonight Saita-chan?" The dark haired man asked after a moment of surprised silence. Was his hearing and vision finally failing him, or was Saita actually coming out of her clamshell of thinking of men as only rivals instead of companions.

He was stunned Saita had a date, with someone. A man, well obviously it was, Niito berated himself of course it was a _man_! What else would it have been, a Hollow? Still the fact that she had a date was quite a surprise, the last man who had been a potential boyfriend for the blonde shinigami had been dumped, well rather Saita had ran away from him like he was a plague, after ripping his heart into pieces. That male shinigami had been a good match for her and he had actually loved her, but she had been young and unused to real love and trust. So, it was hardly a surprise to Niito when she left him. She had truly cared for him though, as proved when she came to his house that night crying her eyes out over what she had done. Contrary to popular belief, Saita did have a heart; she just hid it behind a massive steel door, which was guarded by many layers of ice and swords.

"Yes," The blonde haired shinigami woman half hissed, half muttered still not meeting the dark haired man's gaze. As much as an idiot that he played, Niito was not stupid, so why did she need to tell him thrice already that she was going on a date tonight? She was already embarrassed and nervous enough as it was and he was purposely making it even worse.

She had mulled over asking Niito for help for more than three hours and it hurt her pride to do so, but when she had actually taken a good look at herself in the bathroom mirror. Saita knew that her current appearance would simply not do for a date, especially where Renji was taking her. The place wasn't "Noble's only", but it wasn't a Sake bar either. Unfortunately, Saita was well aquatinted with the latter. Somehow, that fact had never embarrassed her before, yet strangely, it bothered her now. Another thing she quickly found to be embarrassing, was how much of a dullard she was with feminine things. In all of her life, Saita had never once acted like the woman that she was.

"Well, shall we get this show on the road then? I'll take a little while to get you ready, you know." Niito asked the quiet blonde haired woman with a wide smile. Saita just nodded and quietly followed the excessively cheerful male towards his home.

'_Kami-sama please have mercy on me, for I no not what Niito plans to do.'_ Saita silently prayed, as she followed her old friend. A feeling of impending doom seemed to fall upon her shoulders as she stepped into the small, quaint home of Takaya Niito.

Looking back on it now, the five and a half hours of "torture" that Niito had put her through after that had not been so bad after all; she had made it seem as if it was the worst thing imaginable. However, it was far from any form of awful, a bit painful at times, but not too bad. Saita suddenly realized that the world was not difficult; she was the one that had made it out to be like that. She was the difficult one and in her stubbornness she had refused to see or accept that she was wrong, not the world.

"You know, if you keep such gloomy look on your face for much longer the make-up will melt and you'll look like a deformed imp." The light, teasing voice of the dark haired male roused Saita from her depressing state.

"Thank you, Niito-san, for everything." Saita met his eyes as the soft, sincere words left her lips. She hoped that he understood just how thankful she was for him. He had always been there, even when she did not want him to be. He did not leave her alone when others did, even when she had hurt him physically and mentally. She really did not deserve his friendship or his love, but she would appreciate and treasure it more from now on.

"You're welcome, Saita-chan. I'll always be here for you, when those Shinigami aren't enough." The dark haired man smiled, reassuring the disheartened girl that he was always going to be there for her. Even if his presence was unwanted, she would need him there, until someone who loved and cared for her, on a different level took his place. Until then he would stay her silent confidant.

"Okay! Let's get you walking in Geta before you meet your boyfriend." The dark blue-eyed man suddenly yelled, startling Saita with his unexpected outburst and his exaggerated term for Renji causing her to jump from the unexpected noise and shock, making her trip over the hem of the Yukata and nearly fall flat on her face. Tatami mats were not very soft and Saita did not want to kiss the rush grass floor for any reason.

"Oh, I'm sorry Saita-chan! I really didn't mean to startle you." The dark haired man apologized sheepishly, while trying to hide his smile and stifle his upcoming laughter as he rushed to the struggling woman's' side. Oh, he really should not laugh, but her facial expressions were just too comical. A picture of a flailing fish, which comically resembled Saita, came to his mind, and Niito burst into another fit of laughter.

"It's fine." The ruffled blonde haired woman muttered coolly as Niito continued to laugh at her, while she busied herself with straightening out her newly wrinkled Yukata. A soft rosy blush bega to glow upon hercheeks, as her friend cotinued to laugh hysterically.

'_Geeze, do I have to be so graceful?'_ She mentally sneered at herself, wondering if her new garments were going to send her to an early grave. She hoped not, dying because of hazardous clothing was not how she pictured her death. Yes, she did indeed picture her demise; she killed Hollows for a living and had a living sword, which was a part of her soul as her partner, how could one not expect death? Even though dying from a Hollow attack was rare, it was still possible and she wanted to go down fighting, not flailing in a Yukata and Geta.


	20. Chapter 19: A Date and So Much More

Chapter Nineteen:

A Date and So Much More

Standing before her mostly unused bathroom mirror, Saita couldn't help but feel a bit anxious about her date with Renji. Why in the hell she was fretting over her appearance was something she couldn't quite understand. If he had asked her out when she looked normal, why wasn't normal good enough for this situation? Oh, right because she'd flipped out like a dumb love-struck human teenager and ran to Niito that's why.

He'd said that she needed to look different, more feminine and gentle than usual. She needed to at least hold the appearance of a somewhat dignified woman. Then he'd given her a list of things she should not under any circumstances do while on the date. No cursing, growling, hissing excreta or drinking like she usually did, he'd named those off first, along with lecturing her about the proper way to eat and use her eating utensil's. She was also badgered to not complain about her clothes or footwear hurting, nor was she allowed to complain about her hair or makeup and if, by some minute chance she were to run into someone she did not like. She was to doing nothing but either ignore them, which Niito had stated would be best or she was to smile and bear it. Not like the latter was going to happen, she had decided that she would ignore them, as suggested.

After he had lectured her on what _not_ to do, he'd starting telling her _what_ she should do. His lectures had given her a migraine that she still hadn't managed to get rid of yet. But she did remember a few of the things he had told her, like for example, she was to be polite, courteous and smile, whether she wanted to or not. That last part had been growled out at her, much to her surprise and annoyance.

Glancing at the clock above her bathroom entrance, she noticed that she had been pacing, fucking pacing of all Kami-damed things! Growling curse words under her breath, she stomped into her bedroom-the one that she never used-and plopped down on the bed. Of course she was careful not to undo anything that Niito had done to her.

'_This is not a good idea,'_ she confirmed. _Her_ of all shinigami _going out,_ _on a date,_ _with Renji_, _in public_. Not smart, not at all. They were doomed to failure, for more than one reason. She knew something was going to go wrong. She'd embarrass him and herself, she just knew it. They'd be the laughing stock for a month. No, who the hell was she kidding even longer than that, possibly centuries. "Oh, Kami-sama," She groaned in misery, wanting to stuff her face into a nice fluffy pillow and suffocate herself.

'_Well, at least my house is decent,_' she mused bitterly. Hah! As if that was any consolation. _'My house is clean! Yeah, what the fuck ever.'_ She mocked herself. This date was going to cause her to go suicidal before it was over. Scratch that, she _already_ wanted to kill herself and it hadn't even started yet!

Being so caught up in her thoughts of a horrific date and all that entailed, Saita didn't notice a familiar spiritual energy nearing her home. Until three loud knocks startled her, she jumped to her feet but tripped over her yukata and fell off her bed and hit her rush grass floor with a loud thump. "Ow!"

"Saita, are you all right in there?" Renji's voice was slightly muffled behind her paper sliding door. Saita could tell that he was slightly worried, but she could hear the laughter in his voice. Apparently he had probably guessed what had happened. What a great start to their date.

"Yeah, I'm fine! Um, you can come in if you want, I'll just be a minute." Saita called back, trying to maneuver her yukata so that she didn't rip it or fall down again. Hearing her door slide open, she assumed that he had taken her invitation. Well, it wasn't like he hadn't been over before, so he could find his way around her place without her help.

"So, how did that happen?" An amused voice inquired from her doorway. Looking up Saita saw Renji standing there. Looking like he had just received seven paychecks. His muscled arms were crossed over his chest and that infuriatingly smug smirk was back. Oh how she hated that smirk.

"I tripped what of it?" Saita replied edgily, instantly forgetting everything Niito had told her. She was tired of tripping over her damn clothes every time she tried to move. It was just ridiculous.

"Here," Renji offered his hand, his smirk still there. Saita eyed his offered hand with a wary stare; it hurt her pride to show such weakness in front of her rival. She was pathetic, totally pathetic; she couldn't even stand up properly. With a small scowl and a sigh, she took his hand. When she was back to her feet she waited to hear some smart remark from the redhead, but nothing came.

Confused, Saita looked up to see what had managed to muzzle the snappy fukutaichō, only to see him staring at her like she had grown a Hollow mask. Did she look that bad? After a few minutes of silence Saita noticed that he hadn't even dropped her hand, deciding that his silence was annoying, not to mention nerve-racking, she spoke. "Did you die from shock, or am I just _that_ sexy?"

That seemed to snap him out of his daze. He scowled at her before scoffing. "Yeah right. You sexy? Pfft that'll be the day. I was just wondering what Hollow puked on you, I'd like to congratulate him."

Saita scoffed a bitter 'thanks you jackass' before rolling her eyes at his reply. Dropping her hand, Renji led Saita from her room and to her front door. While Saita slipped on her borrowed geta sandals, Renji opened the door and when she had her sandals on they left, with Renji leading the way. Both of the shinigami were slightly less tense than before their little banter. It seemed like a small argument, remnant of the old days, was just want they needed to relax a bit.

"So, what happened to you? I mean, I didn't think you owned anything that even resembled feminine things." Renji commented lightly glancing at the dolled-up blonde beside him. Her appearance had greatly surprised him. Before tonight, he could never have imagined, even in his wildest dreams, Saita dressed up like she was. She looked so… different.

He couldn't quite find a good word for how she looked other than just, different. There was a simple, yet pretty hair clip holding her long bangs away from her face. Her hair was shiny, straight and looked to have been thoroughly combed and trimmed. It was down from its usual messy bun and hung down past her shoulders and ended elegantly at the back of her knees.

He'd never known that her hair was _that_ long, before now. Her face was lightly coated with a skin tone powder and blush dusted her cheek bones giving her an artificial glow. Her lips were painted a light pink. It seemed to give them more shape and make them plumper. Her eyes were lightly rimmed with black eyeliner and caused a smoky effect that brought out the color of her eyes. They didn't look hazel anymore, more like a misty blue. Mysterious, was a good word to describe her eyes, as well as her personality.

All-in-all she looked like a completely different girl. Even her posture was different, she wasn't slouching and Renji finally noticed just how tall she was. With the added height of the geta sandals, she was only an inch shorter than him. So he pegged her to be about five foot eight inches tall, without the sandals. Damn, what else didn't he know about her?

"I don't actually. These clothes were borrowed from a friend of mine. You wouldn't know him, he lives in Rukongai." Saita answered truthfully, heat rising to her cheeks at remembering some of the discussions she and Niito had. Niito was a closet pervert, she had decided. To bring up stuff like _that_, when she wasn't even sure what she felt for Renji, let alone what he felt for her.

"_Him_, as in a bona-fide male, with a pecker and all?" Renji repeated in confusion, his head turning to look at her so fast she wondered if he had whiplash. When Saita nodded her head, Renji nearly fainted. A _guy_ dressed her up like _that_? That was freaky. Sure he knew Saita probably couldn't do that to herself, but a _guy,_ a freaking _guy_ managed to do _that_! Renji shook his head, it was giving him a headache just thinking about it.

Saita literally laughed out loud at the weird-ed out look on her companions face. Poor guy, oh well there was a minute possibility that he might meet Niito one day. No one had met Niito before and Saita wondered if in some messed-up way that Niito was a substitute for an older brother or father. It was probably true though, he was the only one she had left, outside of the shinigami.

The rest of their trip to the restaurant was filled with good-humored teasing and casual questions about whatever popped into their minds. Most of the conversations revolved around their past fights. It was strange how they could laugh about those times of hatred now. Those days seemed more like a long, far off dream or a past life than anything. They were different people back then and yet, they hadn't changed at all.

It didn't take long, ten minutes or so at the most for them to reach the restaurant. Saita dreaded entering that place. She felt like she was walking to her doom. Unconsciously she stopped dead in her tracks. Visions of many terrible outcomes to this date making her want to throw off her geta and run like the flames of hell were licking at her heels.

Renji noticed the hesitant pause of his companion and decided to help her along, before she bolted. Renji mutely moved closer to Saita and with a gentle push at her lower back he led the nervous blonde through the crowded eatery. Renji decided that a seat in back away from curious eyes and ears was best, for both he and the unusually reserved blonde. He would've been lying if he said that he wasn't nervous, because he was. If it was even possible he would say that he was more nervous than Saita was.

Renji took a seat across from Saita when he was sure that she wouldn't run. She looked ready to do so too. He didn't think he'd ever seen her so fidgety before. He took a subtle deep calming breath just before a kind waitress walked up to their table with a sincere smile. Immediately Renji and Saita noticed that the young girl was heavily pregnant, her swollen stomach very apparent under her uniform.

"Hello and welcome, my name is Hingiku and I'll be serving you tonight." The waitress greeted with a smile, her young face glowing with a natural cheerfulness. "Here are your menus."

Somehow both Renji and Saita were put at ease with Hingiku's smile. The tense air had now vanished and Saita didn't feel as compelled to run for her life anymore. Saita smiled back hesitantly taking the black folder from the outstretched hand. Renji's features softened slightly, the tense air had now completely vanished as he took his.

"What would you like to drink?" Hingiku asked pleasantly, patiently waiting with a calm demeanor. Her kind gaze shifted over the two young shinigami in wonder. She wasn't much other than them from what she could tell. They were a good-looking couple too. The crimson hair complemented the flaxen in a way that made Hingiku imagine raging flames.

"Two bottles of sake and Tamaryokucha tea will do Hingiku-san." Renji replied before Saita could even open her mouth. Upon seeing the blonde-haired-girl gape at him with wide eyes from his peripheral vision caused a smirk to quirk at his lips. If Saita thought he was oblivious to what she liked then she was greatly mistaken. She always ordered the same thing anyways alcohol or Tamaryokucha tea, so it wasn't that hard to remember. The tea she always ordered was a tea that had a tangy, berry-like taste with a long almond-like aftertaste and a deep aroma with tones of citrus, grass and berries.

Hingiku smiled holding in a giggle, as she wrote down what was ordered. The girl looked overly surprised that her companion knew what she wanted, while the crimson haired male seemed pleased that he had stunned the blonde haired girl. "Would you like to order now or would you like to look a little longer?" She asked nicely still smiling.

"I think we'll order now, if you don't mind Hingiku-san." Renji said with an almost unnoticeable smile. He was tempted to order for Saita but he didn't knowing that she'd probably faint or throw something at him in embarrassment.

"That's fine, go ahead." The dark haired waitress smiled reassuringly her shining azure eyes shifting between the couple, wondering which one would order first.

"I'd like an order of shrimp, okra and mushroom Tempura, Nikujaga Nimono and Karumetou cake." Saita ordered before Renji could even open his mouth, although it was wide-open in shock now. Saita wanted to laugh so badly. The look on his face was priceless and yes she was that hungry. She always ate a lot and she wasn't embarrassed because of it either. Besides she worked out enough that none of it turned into excess fat.

Renji snapped out of his daze and ordered, his choice being lighter than hers, but he did order another two bottles of sake. Saita cocked an eyebrow at his extra request, but said nothing. Hingiku laughed and left after checking that neither of them wanted anything else. They defiantly were a good match.

"So," Saita began coolly, "Are you trying to get me drunk?" She was curious as to why he thought they needed that much sake. Sure she drank a lot, but she wasn't planning to get drunk tonight. Not that only four bottles would do it anyways. She had a high alcohol tolerance. She had found out just how much sake it took once. She hadn't tried to exceed that limit ever again, the headache didn't go away for nearly a whole week and she was in a pissed off mood for two weeks afterwards.

Renji glanced over to his companion, who was gazing elsewhere. A smirk edged onto his face. She was embarrassed and poking fun at him was her way to make it disappear. "And if I was, what would you do?" He asked nonchalantly anticipating her next challenge.

"Do you like spicy food?" The question was random and very off subject, but Saita was curious and it kept her from answering him. She didn't much care for it personally, having very sensitive taste buds. She liked simple foods, mostly sweets, deep-fried or grilled stuff, but she hated ramen. Salted and some pickled food was also good in her opinion. Not that shinigami ate that much anyways, but she did. She liked sake, whether she needed it or not, which in her case she did not.

Renji knew what she was doing but played along anyways. "No, can't stand the stuff, you?"

"Same never could really stand the taste of spicy foods." Saita replied in the same tone as he had. They both glanced at each other, sharing sly devilish smirks.

They were giving out critical information that could and would be used against one another later and they both knew it. Childish pranks were not below them, just because of their ranks in the Gotei 13. Well, Renji tried to act the more professional of the duo, but his maturity level seemed to drop whenever Saita was around. As for Saita, well she became bored easily and pranks were her specialty, though hers tended to be on the slightly cruel and dark-humored side.

They chatted for several minutes, until Hingiku came back with their orders. Time passed quickly as they ate, but when they started on the sake they began to loosen up and actually laughed at and with each other. Neither noticed that their kind waitress watched with smiling eyes as their relationship bloomed into more than flirty-friends that night. Even if they couldn't see it, she did. She sent them a silent well-wish hoping that they found a way to break down the walls that stood between them and their happiness.

Four hours later the peculiar and slightly tipsy couple left the restaurant in a fit of laughter, after waving good-bye to Hingiku. They had closed the place down. Not that anyone was complaining, they had spent the most money on food and alcohol that night than any that was there. Saita and Renji found out quick that four bottles of sake didn't serve enough between them, so six more bottles were ordered afterwards. Of course with that much being ordered they both had to pay, but neither minded they were used to paying for themselves anyways.

"So you're saying that Yumichika actually does wear makeup?" Renji laughed with a disbelieving shake of his head. He had learned a lot of things about the members of the eleventh division courtesy of Saita and her many pranks on them.

"Yeah, I saw him one day a few years back. He denied it, but when I took it from his quarters a couple days later and dumped it on him and Ikkaku he yelled and chased me around threatening me not to tell anyone or he'd off me in my sleep." Saita laughed at the memory, the happy buzz from the alcohol she had drank causing her to be more buoyant.

"Who else have you pulled pranks on besides everyone in you division?" Renji asked after his laughter died down.

Saita looked up at the night sky for a moment in thought, before turning to look at her waiting and curious companion. She smiled slyly before listing off more than half of the residents in Seireitei. Even his own Taichō was on her list along with all but five of the current Taichō. Renji couldn't help by admire her fearlessness of the higher-ups. It was a dangerous attitude to be sure, but it actually got her somewhere and if she hadn't been so brazen, they never would have met. Then they wouldn't be here laughing and joking around like kids.

"So does your Taichō have any deep dark secrets that I don't know about yet?" Saita asked with a smile of the purest evil intent. Renji shuddered as a sudden foreboding chill ran down his spine. Damn she sure could be ruthless even without her Zanpakutō.

"Not that I can recall and not that you really need anymore dirt on anyone." Renji lightly shoved Saita in the shoulder making her wobble and sidestep to the left. Laughing with a competitive smirk at the daring look on her face when she found her footing, she was going to get back at him. Of this he was sure.

"That was uncalled for you monkey." Saita sneered playfully, while shoving Renji in the same manner as he had done to her. However, when he reached out to grab her she kicked off her geta, picked up her yukata train to her mid-thighs and ran back to her house. Renji stood there for a minute wondering what just happened before he smiled, laughed out loud, grabbed the discarded sandals and ran after the blonde.

He caught up to her easily, after all she was running in a yukata and she didn't know Shunpo. He did, but he decided not to use it. Just as Saita got to her door Renji caught up to her. Lightly slamming his bodyweight against her back, he pinned her to the door with a conquering smirk.

Saita tried to wriggle away but it didn't work as Renji just leaned more of his bodyweight against her, before leaning down and resting his chin on her shoulder. "I caught you." He breathed huskily in her ear, causing a shiver to race down Saita's spin and goose-bumps to appear on her skin.

"Damn you," she seethed halfheartedly with a soft sigh, as the tall redhead chuckled lowly at her weak show anger. He had expected a little more retaliation, but this partial submission was fine.

Feeling like teasing Saita a little more, Renji nuzzled against her smooth exposed neck and whispered, "Yeah, but I still won."

Saita's eyes narrowed and a devious smirk edged its way on to her painted lips. "So you did," she whispered lowly after a moment, trying her best to copy Renji's seductive tone. It must have worked because she felt Renji stop nuzzling against her so she continued feeling braver, "Now that you've caught me, what are you going to do with me?"

Renji frozen in shock, his eyes wide I disbelief. Had he hit her too hard, he wondered. Saita was actually flirting with him in the same manner as he had been with her. In that moment of unsuspecting surprise Saita swiftly sidestepped to her left pulling her door open at the same time. Making Renji loose his balance and fall very ungracefully onto her hardwood floor. Saita burst out into hysterical laughter as the redhead just lay there on her floor stunned at her actions.

"Did you really think that I'd let you have the last victory?" She asked with a fox-like grin when angry, embarrassed caramel brown eyes met hers.

Renji glared at the smirking female for a minute considering his next action. He wasn't going to let her keep beating him that was for certain. But how he was going to beat her this time was a mystery. Standing to his feet he took off his shoes in a brooding silence, before walking into Saita's living room, leaving Saita standing on her porch staring after his retreating from with an open mouth.

'_What… what the hell was that? Did I anger him that badly?'_ Saita silently wondered before stepping into her house, sliding the door closed gently. As soon as the door was closed Saita noticed that she had forgotten to light her candles. With a slight growl she walked into the dark shadows of her home.

Her house was creepy in the dark and she never did like the dark, but the fact that she couldn't even feel Renji's spiritual presence caused the hairs on the back of her neck to stand on end. She hoped she hadn't angered him enough till he would try to kill her. No that was absurd he wouldn't do that. He was a fukutaichō and he would loose his job if that happened. But it was still freaky, him going all somber and then disappearing into her house like a ghost. He was so weird sometimes or rather his mood swings were.

"Hey Renji I'm sorry if I wounded your ego, but to be fair you walked right into it." Saita called into the darkness. Hoping to get a reply, but she didn't. Not even a creaking floorboard. '_Damn you and your fragile male ego!' _Saita cursed the tattooed male as she searched blindly for one of the boxes of matches she kept in her house.

After somehow making her way through her home without knocking into anything Saita shuffled into her living room. She hoped that she had left one of her matchboxes on the table by her futon. She knew there was a candle on the table so there should have been a few matches there. She remembered leaving a half empty box there yesterday evening, so it should've still been there.

"Ow! Damn it you stupid piece of shit table!" Saita cursed loudly as her knee met the edge of her coffee table. "That was painful." Saita muttered irritably now carefully feeling the top of the table with one hand while the other messaged her sore knee.

"You know for living here as long as you have, one would think that you would know where your furniture was." A voice spoke up suddenly causing Saita to look to her right. She could barely make out the shadow of Renji's spiky ponytail in the dark. He was standing not even a foot away from her and she hadn't even heard him breathing.

"Yeah well, I never keep it dark. So I never had to learn to maneuver though my house in the dark." She bit back coolly angry that he had left her at the door. It hurt when he turned his back to her. She would never admit it aloud, but she felt as if he had betrayed her when he did that. It was foolish to think that way, to feel like that but she couldn't help it. He had always made her feel. Even if the emotion was nothing but anger, he was the one who did it.

Renji just grunted before the sound of a match striking and the hissing of fire cast a dim light upon them. At least she could see him now, silently Renji went around to all of the candles in the room lighting each as he went. When the room was sufficiently lit he shook the half burnt matchstick causing the fire to dissipate. After dropping the used stick in a metal bin on a shelf he walked back towards the only other occupant in the entire house, stopping directly in front of her.

They stared at one another for several still minutes before Saita scowled and opened her mouth to snap at him for acting like an idiot. But she never got the chance to utter a word, as Renji's lips crashed don upon hers. Her blue-eyes flew open in shock at the sudden action. She didn't pull away, but she didn't kiss him back either. After a minute Renji pulled away from her, his eyes still closed and his lips parted. Many thoughts flew through his mind, but he shoved them all aside waiting for Saita to strike him for the kiss.

He waited and waited, but when the hit never came he opened his eyes to lock gazes with the blonde. She was staring at him with something akin to bewilderment and confusion. Well that was certainly an unexpected reaction. He thought she would do something, not just stare at him like that.

"Why?" A simple question whispered so softly that he barely heard it. There were so many emotions behind that question and in her eyes. How could he possibly answer that? When he wasn't quite sure what had compelled him to do it in the first place. No. That was a lie. He knew why he did it. But could he actually accept it. That he didn't know.

Could he do this and not feel like a traitor either way? No, that was impossible. Either way he would still carry a heavy burden and either way what he just allowed himself to do was costly. What he did was just wrong. He could loose his position and Saita could get kicked out of the Gotei 13. Shinigami weren't supposed to get involved like this. Sure some had, but things just got messy when relationships formed outside of business.

However, all of those doubts vanished when he looked into her questioning eyes. He had to know, come of it what it will. Good or bad. He had to know. He had to know if there wasn't only just one. Call him selfish or a bastard or whatever, he was calling himself much worse, but he had to do it.

Slowly stepping closer to the waiting blonde, Renji reached out and gently pulled her slender form to his in an affectionate embrace. He was giving her the chance to pull away at any time, but when she did nothing he carefully slid his hands upwards. Mapping the way her hips curved and felt in his grasp, remembering the way she shuddered as his fingertips brushed past her ribs and the feel of her silky hair and delicate skin as his hand wound around to the back of her head. He leaned in close enough so their foreheads touched, their breath mingled as they held each others gaze.

"Will you stop me?" He asked in a breathless whisper. Knowing that he wouldn't be able to stop or take it back if she didn't object now. He was at war with himself. Part of him was screaming for him to back away and leave before it was too late. But the other was telling him it didn't matter it was already too late. His battle was over the moment he walked into her house after their date. The second opinion was winning, but he would wait. Saita would make the decision not him.

Saita stared at him wondering how they had gotten into this. Knowing it was wrong, but not caring in the slightest she whispered her consent. "No." It was such as simple answer, but that was all it took. He couldn't stop himself if it was what she wanted too. Even if it meant their downfall neither would stop.

This whole thing was new to him, not to mention it almost felt rushed. But it didn't feel wrong. He had wondered why in the hell he had asked and what tonight would bring and now he knew, but was it right? Maybe it was the sake, but he didn't care right now. He'd worry about the consequences tomorrow, but not now.

Slowly his lips descended upon hers. It was a light hesitant brush at first, before he added more pressure, lightly caressing her lips with his own. She responded with light caresses of her own and timid hands at his waist. He in turn responded with slightly parting his lips and pulling her closer. Saita followed suit her lips parting, taking it as an acceptance Renji lightly brushed the tip of his tongue against her bottom lip. To which Saita parted her lips further in invitation. Renji gladly took it, his tongue darting inside her moist mouth to meet her tongue as her hands moved from his waist to his shoulders trying to pull him closer.

After a moment Renji pulled back enough to lightly bite at Saita's lips. As his hands moved down to her wait and hers up to cup the back of his neck. Squeezing the curve of her hips pulled a soft moan from the blonde. Renji smirked and shot his tongue back into her mouth wanting to hear her make that noise again. As their tongues danced, Saita threaded her fingers through Renji's thick crimson tresses. Finding the band that held his hair she immediately removed it, quickly delving her hands into the mass. She decided in that moment she loved his long scarlet hair and the way he reacted when she messaged his scalp.

The longer they stood there the bolder their touches became. Renji's hands now caressed Saita's sides, while Saita pressed her body closer to his needing an anchor to keep her sane, as his lips and tongue moved from her mouth to her neck. She tossed her head back violently and let out a soft needing whisper of his name when he bit her neck. His tongue messaging the abused spot before he reluctantly pulled away from her. Their breathing was heavy and labored, as they gazed at one another with lidded eyes. The emotions in their eyes were mirrored, a swirl of desire, need and wanting.

Surprising Saita was the first to speak, "Stay?" Her voice was husky and filled with desire. It was an innocent question but it had so many other possibilities laced behind it.

Oh, Kami-sama why did her voice have to sound so innocent yet lusty. Renji sucked in a deep breath, closing his eyes. If he stayed they could get carried away and possibly do something they would regret, but he wouldn't be alone and she asked first. On the other hand if he left he would have to go home, take a cold shower and sleep in a big cold bed, but then there wouldn't be the chance of them getting too caught up in their desires.

"You know what might happen if I stay, Saita." Renji began his voice rough and low. When Saita nodded her head he couldn't help but curse and praise her name. She was being reckless consenting to him like this.

"Is that a risk you're willing to take? Because I'll openly admit that if you consent to something I will not be able to hold myself back." He continued roughly, his grip on her slender wait becoming harsh. He didn't want to hurt her, but if that was the only way then he would do it.

Saita just stared defiantly into his eyes. Her right hand trailing down from his shoulders to his lower abdomen, where she hooked her finger over the band of his pants pulling away from him before letting go making the band snap harshly against his skin. Renji jumped from the unexpected action and squeezed her hips harder. Saita paid no mind to his threats hooking her finger over the band again, but lightly messaging the red mark with her fingertips.

"I'm not scared Renji, we're both adults who can control such urges if need be and I want you to stay." Without breaking eye contact Saita forced her body to close the distance Renji had made between them. Her thigh brushed against his making him hiss in a deep non-calming breath._ 'Good Kami-sama she's going to be the death of me!'_

"Kami woman are you trying to make me go insane or kill me?" Renji growled at her victorious smirk. Yanking her towards him, he locked their lips in another passionate kiss, this one more forceful and demanding than the last. If she thought she was the only who would could play dirty then she was dead wrong. He wouldn't be outdone by a teasing seductress with innocent eyes.


	21. Chapter 20: Where To Go From There

Chapter Twenty:

Where to Go From There

Saita had a rather notorious reputation of being able to sleep through anything. Nothing ever disrupted her from her precious sleep and lived to regret it and as much as she had tried to ignore the nuisance she just couldn't. She had been trying her best to ignore it, but after two and a half hours her thin line of patience was gone. She wasn't about to flop around like a fish in a skillet pan just to get away from the irritation, but enough was enough. If it continued on, Saita knew blood would be spilt and for once she would've been remorseful. But Kami help her it was just too much.

With a deep growl of anger she pulled the heavy limbs of her red-haired bed partner out from around her waist and pulled her sleepy body into a sitting position. Her eyes narrowed into thin slits at the offender. That damn redheaded bastard was fucking snoring! Of all the Kami-forsaken things he just had to snore when he slept! '_Fuck it all!'_ Saita absolutely hated people who snored with an unbridled passion and now Renji was on her list.

Sensing the loss of his bed partner's warmth the sleeping fukutaichō blindly stretched out to find her, but Saita was not in the mood to cuddle with him. Saita vigilantly avoided Renji's searching hands. Until he rolled over to her side of the futon and grabbed hold of her midsection, pulling her back down to lay beside him. Saita's glare hardened, even through all that he was still snoring!

Having both her arms free from his grasp, Saita drew back her left hand and halfheartedly slapped Renji across the left side of his face. The effect was instantaneous. Renji's body tensed for a second, before he jumped up, his loose crimson hair smacking Saita in the face, blinding her in a sea of scarlet. Renji sat stiffly on the center of the bed his eyes blinking owlishly, while he tried to figure out what the hell just happened and where he was. Renji's gaze locked on an old painting of high dark waves crashing against a cliff and everything came back to him.

With a low frustrated growl he ran a hand through his long hair brushing his long bangs out of his face and turned his head to look at his displeased companion. Their angry gazes locked, each challenging the other to test their patience and temper by making some smart ass comment. "What the hell was that for?" Renji asked irritably after a moment, wanting to know just why his face stung.

Without so much as blinking or lightening her glare Saita replied. "You were snoring." If he didn't know better Renji might have thought that a Zanpakutō had taken the place of her tongue. Her words were cold and razor-sharp enough to cut lesser men down within an instant. However he was not a lesser man.

"I was snoring." He repeated with a disbelieving tone. His caramel gaze hardening to match the blonde's. "That's why you hit me, because I was fucking snoring?" Renji sneered threateningly, daring her to repeat what she'd said. He couldn't believe that she would hit him over something so trivial. It was just absurd. He couldn't control when that habit and there was no reason she should have hit him, even if it annoyed her.

"Yes I fucking hit you because you were fucking snoring!" Saita snapped back, lashing out to strike him again. That did it. Saita had royally pissed him off. Renji's hand snapped up and caught her fist in his hand before it even got close to his face. He deftly caught the second that was sent towards his face and in one swift move had the violent female pinned to the bed. She thrashed and slung curses at him, but he didn't move.

After several minutes of struggling Saita finally calmed down, but he still didn't release her, she could be more dangerous calm than in a fit of rage. "Now that you've finally calmed down." Renji spoke, his voice unusually calm, as if he hadn't been angry enough to actually hit the blonde haired girl beneath him just moments before. "Would you mind tell me why you're so pissed off this morning?" He continued his tone still deceivingly placid.

Saita hissed at him like an angry snake that was coiled up and ready to strike. They stared each other down for several long minutes, before Saita's rage all but dissipated. Seeing the surrender and lack of anger in her hazel-blue eyes, Renji removed his tight grasp from her wrists. She wouldn't look him in the eyes, he noted with a frown. She was so bipolar it was giving him a headache. Deciding to take a different approach in hopes of coaxing an answer or even a singular word from her, Renji stretched out his body to slide beside Saita's while easing his bodyweight down halfway on top of her, so he wouldn't crush her.

When he was comfortably stretched out he propped his head on his left hand while the other brushed teasingly over Saita's fingertips. He would have never guessed, before last night that they were so sensitive. He smirked. Even now she was shivering in pleasure from their sensitivity and his administrations. "So," He started his tone soft, curious. "Why were you so angry?"

When she did nothing, he questioned further while continuing to tease her senses. "You didn't hit me just because I was snoring, did you." It was a statement not a question. He got his answer when she turned her head and their eyes met. Something was troubling her. He could see it as clearly as he saw her lying next to him. "What's wrong?" The question was asked tentatively.

Saita sighed. Her eyes moved to watch as his fingers skillfully dance across her skin, contemplating how she was going to answer. He was right of course. She hadn't just hit him because he was snoring. She hated it sure, but a slap was too much. What had she hit him? It was really a simple answer, but she didn't want him to know her fears, her thoughts about last night and this morning. But, it didn't matter anymore.

"I… I thought you wouldn't stay." She voiced softly. Renji froze. She actually thought he would leave her? Sure, they had only been on one date and yeah things were moving fast, but he wouldn't leave without letting her know first. Suddenly it came to him. She was scared, scared of him leaving and of him staying. Both options had their perks and vices, but the thought of leaving had never once entered his mind last night. He wanted to stay, he truly did.

"I wouldn't leave Saita," Renji began, cupping her slender face and turning her head so he could see her eyes, "unless you wanted me to." Saita's lip trembled and her eyes softened at his sincere words.

"I don't want you to leave." She whispered frantically, her eyes watering up. She was so stupid! She silently cursed herself, as the tears began to fall. This was wrong. These feelings were wrong, almost sinful. But it was too late. She couldn't make her heart stop skipping a beat for him. She couldn't stop _loving_ him. She had already fallen. Oh Kami-sama she _loved_ him. She really truly did, waking up next to him scared her because it felt so right. She couldn't understand it, but she loved him. She needed him. He completed her. He chased away her demons, he took her temper in stride and he did it all without wanting anything in return. "Kami, I'm so selfish…"

"No you're not. What's wrong with wanting someone?" He reassured, pulling the silently crying blonde into a comforting embrace. He understood why she threw a tantrum. She hadn't actually said it aloud, but she didn't have to. The truth was in her voice and her eyes. She… she loved him. Renji decided he deserved the hit in the face. Not for snoring, but because he still loved… Rukia, even after last night, Kami damn him forever… but he loved Saita too.

What the fuck was wrong with him? Hell should've opened up beneath him last night when he first kissed her. She didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve her. It just wasn't fair to either woman. Neither deserved to be dragged along and loved only halfway. Kami-sama he was a selfish bastard, because he couldn't let either one go. _'You're not selfish Saita. You just want someone to love and be loved. What's selfish about that? I'm the one who's selfish. Holding you, loving you and still loving her…'_

"I'm sorry." Saita whispered forlornly, her head resting on his shoulder. Renji pulled her closer whispering to her it was fine and that all was forgotten. _'You may love me now, but one day you're going to hate my guts again. Either decision will probably cost m_e _both of you_._ I won't ask for forgiveness, because I don't deserve it._'

Renji inhaled deeply, the soothing rosy scent of Saita's shampoo distracting him from his thoughts of damnation. Allowing himself to fall deeper into the sweet aroma Renji hummed in content, as he nuzzled into Saita's long blonde tresses. Saita cuddled closer, one of her hands finding his and intertwining. Renji smiled. For being so hostel all the time and saying she didn't need anyone but herself and her Zanpakutō, Saita really liked to touch. Renji figured the contact was comforting to her, a reassurance that he was real and not a dream that she would wake up from alone.

It really did seem like a dream, an incredible one at that. Renji's thoughts drifted to what had happened last night. Thanking whatever luck still clung to him, that he and Saita hadn't gone all the way and actually had sex. Why was he happy that they hadn't? It was simple. They would've been linked closer and with him being so indecisive about who he wanted to be with it would've hurt her even more if he didn't pick her in the end.

Almost, they'd almost crossed that line. However, Saita's bravery didn't last long. He couldn't blame her though. She'd almost been raped and was apprehensive about being that intimate with him or anyone. It didn't matter to him whether they slept together or not, he was quite content with whatever she wanted. He wasn't in it for sex anyways. It would have been great if they had, but it didn't matter. He wasn't going to push or pressure her into something she wasn't ready for.

Renji breathed out a soft moan and snapped his eyes shut in pleasure as Saita threaded her hands through his hair and began messaging his scalp. "You're such a tease." He whispered softly, looking at her through half lidded eyes. She was smiling, genuinely smiling. There was no mocking in her eyes, no dark-humor. She was actually happy to be with him, to please him. Kami did he feel more and more like an asshole.

"Yeah, but you don't mind." She whispered back, not wanting to break the comfortable quite that had settled around them. Renji hummed in agreement, his head dropping to rest in the crook of her neck. He really didn't mind, especially since it was her. "You're so beautiful." He all but breathed, his lips delicately brushing against her sensitive skin causing a shiver to run through her entire body as he spoke. He wasn't sure whether she was supposed to hear it or not, but it no longer mattered. He was digging his gave ever deeper and he was doing it with contentment.

"When do you have to leave?" Saita asked hesitantly, not truly wanting to know the answer. However, she didn't want to keep him from his duties and his uptight Taichō. With careful movements she began to trace her fingers over Renji's smooth, relaxed features. He was actually rather handsome when he wasn't being an annoying asshole, at this though her lips quirked into a smirk, recalling Renji had said the same thing about her once.

Renji groaned and muttered something incomprehensible, before nuzzling deeper into the crook of her neck. Renji released their intertwined hands, only to immediately wrap them around Saita's waist while planting soft teasing kisses on her neck and exposed shoulders. He was skillfully avoiding answering the question and they both knew it.

Why? In truth he was already late. Almost three and a half hours to be specific. But what Saita didn't know wouldn't hurt her and as he started to bite down and suck softly on her skin, the question disappeared completely from both their minds. Besides, it would be so worth the ass chewing he was going to get from Kuchiki-Taichō. So why shouldn't he stay with more pleasurable company for a little longer? Another hour or so wouldn't matter now.


	22. Chapter 21: To Forgive and Trust

Chapter Twenty-One:

To Forgive and Trust

As she lay on her back, expertly avoiding her watch duties for the day, Saita tapped her foot to an upbeat tune only she could hear. Her eyes were hidden behind her blue and silver shades but the giddy grin on her face spoke volumes of her unusual good mood. She had worn the ego-crushing scatterbrained look since she and Renji parted ways, almost three hours ago. Usually she would have been mortified to be seen with such a dim-witted and ever so evident love-struck appearance, but that didn't bother her.

She couldn't recall ever feeling so relaxed or cheerful, and it was all because of a man. Her grin widened. He wasn't just a man, he was her salvation. Saita sighed contentedly, her thoughts on everything that had happened last night and that morning. After a moment she pushed her body off the roof and into a sitting position, her legs hanging idly over the edge of the building. Absentmindedly she drummed out the beat in her head with her fingertips. If anyone from her Division saw her they would admit her to the Medical Squad as soon as they saw her unwavering grin. She knew she had to look like a right loon, but it didn't bother her. The thought actually made her laugh out loud at the prospect of seeing their faces.

"Kami-sama, I already miss him," She whispered amazedly under her breath, as she let gravity take control and pull her down to the ground and off the side of the building. She landed in a predatory styled crouch and glanced to her right, then left to see if anyone was around. When she saw no one she grinned roguishly. She pretty much had this part of the Seireitei to herself as she could only since fifteen others not counting herself.

One of the shinigami that she felt was near and very familiar. A part of her wanted to avoid that particular shinigami, but she brushed that feeling away and took off in a dead run towards the death god, before her emotions got the best of her. Today she was being ruled by her emotions, but this was one she couldn't run from any longer. There was something really important she needed to do before she could truly move on and have any type of relationship with Renji.

She arrived at a familiar small apartment, one she used to know inside and out. Guilt and shame instantly struck her gut like a fiery blade when she saw that he still had the Moonflower plant she had loved so long ago. It was still green and healthy, he had kept it. Saita's shaky fists clenched until her knuckles turned as white as the night flower's blooms. Hesitantly she neared the window, where the plant sat. She slowly unclenched her fists and cautiously went to touch the delicate leaves, but she stopped herself mere centimeters from the foliage. It didn't feel right to touch something so pure. She was dirty, forever stained from her many mistakes. She wasn't anything like that flower he had once so fondly related her to.

"You still are, Saita." A calm male voice spoke up close to her, as if he could hear her inner turmoil. Saita's head snapped up, her eyes wide when she saw who had caught her hovering outside his window. Saita stepped back unsurely, she had been brave but that courage was failing her now. Her mouth opened to explain why she was there or make an excuse but no words left her dry, swollen throat.

The corner of his mouth slowly pulled upwards in a small humored smirk. "I never thought I'd see a day when you were speechless by the mere sight of someone." Shūhei Hisagi chuckled softly at his own jest. Saita just stared at him as if he were the gates of Hell opening up to swallow her. Almost instantly he sobered. "You wanted to talk, yes?" He asked her already knowing the answer. She nodded in reply, still unable to speak. "Then the door is open." He finished gesturing to the front of his home. Saita nodded once more to reassure herself that this was something she needed to do and it could no long be ignored.

Upon entering the Lieutenant's home, Saita pulled her shades up to keep her unbound hair away from her eyes. Warily she took a seat when he offered and her hands instantly attached themselves to her long hair when he took a seat across from her. She was nervous, she didn't even know where to begin or if words were even necessary. She just didn't know what to do now.

Shūhei observed Saita with a knowing gaze. He knew her fairly well, but it didn't take a genius to see that she was beyond nervous. She had passed that level long ago. Patiently he waited for her to either gain her bearings or motion for him to speak first as he silently offered her a cup of sake. Saita took the alcohol appreciatively and downed three in a row, before she dropped her hands on the table and refused to meet his eyes.

"I'm, I…" She started quietly unsure as to how her jumbled thoughts would come out. "I'm sorry, for hurting you, for every stupid thing I did." She finally confessed the sin that had been weighing down on her conscious and heart. After that it was as if a flood gate had opened and she couldn't stop. The pain from leaving things so very messed up between them was finally coming to the fore. "I'm sorry for leaving you like I did, for avoiding you for all this time and causing problems for you. I'm so sorry I hurt you over and over and over again and I'm sorry that I couldn't be the good person you saw me to be. I'm just sorry for being indecisive, screwed up me!" She finished in an angry almost hysterical tone and her fists balled instinctively as she tried to control her automatic reflex to strike something or someone when she was upset.

She snorted humorlessly at her extreme anger issues. God she didn't know how Shūhei had ever put up with her or how the abrasive and temperamental redhead did either. He was almost as bad as she, and yet after so many violent fights they were together. She shook her head in disbelief. She really was screwed up in the head, if she ever thought that they made a stable couple. She and Renji were quite possibly the worst combination ever.

Shūhei listened and watched understandingly as his ex-love confessed her inner confusion, regret and pain. He'd known all along that she was suffering, but she was too proud to admit it or ask for help. He had let her distance herself and immerse herself in her training like she wanted, but he had always been there if she ever needed him. Without speaking he covered her fists and gently squeezed her hand reassuringly. Saita's eyes snapped to their hands in disbelief. He had already forgiven her; he had probably forgiven her decades ago.

She frowned. "Why," her voice was quiet, ashamed. "Why are you so… tolerant and forgiving? I don't understand… after everything I've done, you still…" She trailed off and for the first time since entering his home she let their eyes meet. Shūhei was smiling when their eyes met and almost as if by reflex she gave a small twitch of her lips in return. He was truly a good man, any woman would be lucky to have him and she left him, broke his heart and yet he could still sit there and forgive her like nothing had happened.

"And everyone calls me complicated." She chortled halfheartedly and he smiled, as their hands separated. It wasn't a lover's touch, like she remembered. It had become more of a life-long friend's reassurance that everything would be okay and with a simple hand squeeze she believed.

"So," He began after a few minutes with a grin, his dark eyes flickered mischievously and Saita watched him with a guarded gaze. "How was your date last night?" Saita eyed him cynically for a moment before answering with narrowed eyes. "It was good, but the real question is how _you_ knew about it." She gave him a stern pointed look, which she was sure, made her look like a sensei from the Academy. Saita blanched, looking anything like those quacks from the Academy made her stomach churn.

"Ah well, I am a Lieutenant, knowing these things are part of my job." He replied simply. Saita sent him a small glare for his smart assed comment. "Oh now that's a huge load of bull. It would be true _if_ one of us was in your Division, but we're not so fess up." She retorted making herself comfortable. Her elbow was propped on the table, with her chin resting languidly in her palm. It was a silent statement that she was going nowhere until he told her how he knew.

"A nosy little bird saw you and Lieutenant Abarai." The dark haired man replied truthfully with a shrug. Saita's eyes narrowed, he was holding out the name on her for the 'nosy little bird's' personal safety. "So, what are my chances of figuring out who this 'little bird' is?" She drawled making her rarely heard Osakan accent even more noticeable, as she faked noninterest.

Shūhei shook his head with a grin. Of course he could see her disinterest was a façade, she wasn't very good at hiding her true emotions. She was not one to let rumors go around about her and whoever the unlucky one was to start it was in hot water when she found them. "Two days tops and you'll know who it is." He told her after a moment of thought.

Saita nodded, two days wasn't that bad of a wait and her anger would have time simmer. Yeah, she could wait. Kami-sama better watch over whoever was dumb enough to open their mouth about seeing her and Renji together. "Who else knows, Hisagi?" She asked after a moment. Certainly he wasn't the only one who knew, her luck wasn't that good.

"Only a few others," He answered vaguely. Saita glowered at the unperturbed Lieutenant. "Define _'a few'_," She practically demanded. "And I want names, Hisagi." Shūhei held her glower for several minutes, before he surrendered. "Fine," He sighed messaging his temples when he saw the triumphant smirk that rose to Saita's lips. Her eyes were practically dancing with anticipation. "Mostly it's just members of your squad, but Lieutenant Matsumoto knows as well as your Lieutenant, so I suppose it won't stay undisclosed for long."

Saita's head fell forward and her forehead hit the table with a loud thump. "Fuck me!" She growled viciously into the tabletop, unaware of the disapproving frown the dark haired Lieutenant was sending her. He had never been fond of the vulgar language she had picked up after joining the eleventh Division. Her choice of words had been bad but tolerable before, however after she joined them it only got worse. He was certain that her solo sneak trips to the Living World didn't help either.

Unexpectedly Saita swiftly shot up from her seated position and with the composure of a predator on the hunt she sauntered to the Lieutenant's front door and slid it open. "Thanks, for the sake Hisagi." She said coolly raising her hand in a lazy gesture over her shoulder as she exited his home. She didn't even turn around to see if he acknowledged her or not, but he wasn't discouraged or upset. He could read between the lines. Saita had only verbally thanked him for the drinks, but he knew his forgiveness and understanding of her inner pain was what she was truly thanking him for.

'_That went better than expected, didn't it Saita?' _A voice that had almost become a stranger spoke within her mind. Saita paused for a moment unsure as to what had suddenly made her Zanpakutō start speaking to her again. Their relationship had been quite strained since their last argument. Seijakusenshi had basically buried himself deep within the deepest recesses of her mind and remained silent. It felt like he had permanently left her.

'_Yes, it did. It's been awhile, Seijakusenshi.'_ Saita acknowledged her Zanpakutō calmly, as she deterred from her self-assigned mission. Tracking down whoever was spreading gossip about her and Renji's date would have to wait. Talking with her Zanpakutō was more important at the moment. Saita felt Seijakusenshi stir within her mind, as if he were restless. _'Indeed it has.'_ He replied quietly, almost thoughtfully as Saita searched for a comfortable and deserted roof to lounge on while they spoke.

'_To what do I owe this unexpected visit?' _She asked when she had finally found the perfect roof. _'Does there need to be a reason?'_ His reply caused Saita to frown, but she held back a biting remark. _'I suppose not, you are here after all.'_ She remarked in an edgy tone. Saita felt him sigh impatiently within her conscious, but said nothing while he brooded.

Sometimes Saita swore she had gotten the wrong Zanpakutō, they were so different. She was bad-tempered, brash and loud, while he was for the most part even tempered, measured and quiet, like his name suggested. He was Seijakusenshi, the _Silent Warrior_. Yet, through their differences in personality they were a perfect pair in battle, always had been. It was just off the battlefield when they clashed, mostly over Saita's personal life, which he seemed all too interested in for her liking.

'_We need to speak, Saita.' _Seijakusenshi declared after a few moments of silence. _'We already are.'_ She remarked smartly with a smug grin. Without missing a beat her Zanpakutō replied. _'How intelligent of you to notice,'_ Saita frowned and didn't reply. Apparently Seijakusenshi wasn't in the mood to listen to her witty sarcasm. _'What I meant is that we need to speak privately, face-to-face.'_

Saita froze for a second, before nodding her head in acceptance. He wanted her to come to him, in her inner world. _'Alright,'_ Saita sighed before letting her body fall backwards so she was laying in her back, a more comfortable position than sitting. She pulled her shades down and slowly let her eyes fall closed. Going to her inner world had always been an unpleasant and difficult task for her for some reason. One would have thought that going to her inner world would be simple since they were always working together, but that wasn't the case at all. Counting this one, it would make this her third journey.

Saita grimaced when she opened her eyes. Just like the two times she had entered her inner world before, the numbing sensation had already taken over her entire body. Saita knew without asking any of the other shinigami that the numb sensation that befell her body every time she entered was unnatural, possibly fatal for all she knew. But, she trusted Seijakusenshi with her life and he had never led her astray. Saita glanced around at her inner world, noticing that it had changed since her last visit.

"You've changed, so it's only logical that this place changes with you." A soft male voice spoke sagely from behind. Saita just continued to stare at the obvious changes. "Yeah, I guess," She muttered, as she forced her numb body to stand, before she walked over to what used to be a dried up hole in the ground with rocks surrounding it. Her inner world as she remembered it was barren and lifeless. There had been no grass, no water and only a large cluster of dead, naked poles, which were supposed to be trees and a cold wintry wind, always blew.

But this was not what she remembered. The once dried up hole in the earth was now a clear watered pond with large, colorful carp swimming in the shallow depths. The once dry cracked ground was now covered in dark, thick grass, batches of clover grew in thick patched and wild flowers were beginning to bloom in vast colors. The forest of poles was now very much alive and green. Many of the trees were flowering and fruit trees, Saita watched in awe as birds, squirrels and a few Sika deer watched her in curiosity from the safety of the small forest.

Saita smiled when the animals decided that she wasn't a threat and went back to feeding, while Saita turned to speak to Seijakusenshi. But she didn't have to turn fully around, because sitting quietly not a yard from her was a large golden-eyed black furred fox with white tips. The silver fox sat calmly on his haunches with his large bushy white tipped tail, which was curled elegantly around his legs. The fox was unnaturally large and muscular; he was bigger than a large wolf. Saita guessed that he was at least forty inches tall at the shoulder and weighed around 189 pounds.

Saita stared at the oversized fox for a few minutes before she grinned. "Long time no see, huh Seijakusenshi?" The fox regarded her coolly for a few minutes, his golden vertical-slit pupils moved over her in a very human-like way. "Yes, it has Saita." The silver fox spoke with a fox-like grin, uncurled his tail and stood. "Perhaps it has been too long, but you are here now, so it doesn't matter." Seijakusenshi murmured almost thoughtfully.

"Yeah well, I've been busy and you haven't visited me either so we're even." Saita remarked as intelligent golden eyes turned to watch her. Saita was too busy watching the carp feed and swim in the pond to notice the frown her Zanpakutō sent her way. "I noticed," He nodded before silently walking over to stand beside the crouching shinigami. "You haven't even unsheathed me for over three days, a world record for you."

Saita chuckled and shook her head, knowing that he was right. There wasn't a time since she had first picked the katana that she had ever not unsheathed and trained with him at least six times a day, until recently. Renji had been keeping her thoughts off fighting and training all the time. She couldn't say that she regret it, either. "You love him." Seijakusenshi stated without any hesitation or doubt, as he watched to see what her reaction would be.

"I love him." Saita parroted in a confident tone without faltering. Saita felt an intense wave of elation wash over her body, as she vocally confirmed what she had just discovered last night after their date. "I love him with every fiber of my pathetic, worthless being." She voiced again, this time her voice was bitter. She knew that she was trash and she hated to admit it, but Rukia Kuchiki was better than she was in many respects. Saita's fists clenched involuntarily at the thought of Renji's childhood love. Saita couldn't believe it, she never thought that emotion was possible for her, but here she was practically glowing green with jealousy.

Seijakusenshi lifted his large paw and gently laid it on Saita's thigh comfortingly, before he propped his head on his paw. His golden eyes glowed as their gaze met. "Saita," He whispered, barely loud enough for her to hear. "You are not alone, you never have been. I've never left you and I never will. You have to trust in me completely, there must be no doubt in you when you call on me. Trust in me and there will be no one who can stand before us, whether it is on the battlefield or elsewhere."

Saita grinned and laughed humorlessly. "If love is a battlefield, my friend, then I surely will not win this one. The odds are not in my favor and my rival is nearly flawless." Saita sighed and hung her head in defeat. She didn't have a snowball's chance in Hell of winning Renji's affection if Rukia showed any signs of returning his feelings.

Seijakusenshi growled deeply within his chest at his wielders show of defeat over a battle that she hadn't even started yet. Saita just ignored his anger and returned her attention to the carp in the pond. The silver fox snorted angrily, before snapping his long ivory fangs viciously in the blonde woman's face. "Don't talk like that! In fact don't ever think like that again!" He snarled, dangerously close to biting her in the face in his anger. It was rare to see the silver fox lose his temper, but when he did it was explosive.

"You are not weak! Do not give in to an enemy you haven't even faced yet! What does it matter if the Kuchiki brat is the monkey's old childhood love? If you want him, if you truly love and want him, then let nothing stop you until you know what _he_ wants!" He finished with a ferocious snarl.

Saita just glared at him, before snapping. "Oh yeah, it's that easy right?" She snapped sarcastically with a scoff. "Okay I'll do just that and if he chooses _her_,then it's your fault I'll die inside! That's how much I love him, how much I need him! It's pathetic, but I'll die if he goes to her. I'll never love again if he leaves!" She yelled with tears threatening to spill down her flushed face.

"I do not remember choosing a coward as my wielder!" He barked loudly, finally frightening the other animals in the field away. "The woman I chose was fearless. She never cowered in unnecessary premature defeat, even when the odds were beyond her favor. She always prevailed, even when she lost. She had the confidence to admit when she was bested, but she never admitted defeat even if it meant death!" With that he jumped away from her violently and turned his back to the stunned shinigami.

Saita stared at the livid fox in awe. As long as she had known him, he had never been this angry. Now she knew for certain just how similar they were, she knew that he was the perfect Zanpakutō for her. He spoke the truth as he saw it bluntly and he didn't care what anyone else thought, just like her. Saita was literally speechless. She couldn't form a single coherent sentence to reply to Seijakusenshi's sudden outburst.

Seijakusenshi sighed loudly, before turning back to his stunned wielder with almost saddened golden eyes. "If _this_ is what that idiot primate has made you, then you are better off without love." He told her coldly. There was no remorse in his eyes or tone, what he said was exactly what he thought and whether or not it hurt her to hear it. He believed that she needed to hear it, the consequences or a broken heart be damned.

Saita felt like a sword had just been thrust through her heart. The only one she trusted with her whole had just betrayed and broken her down with only words. Suddenly the hurt gave way to anger and Saita stood to her feet. Her tall form towered over her Zanpakutō's mammalian form, but he was hardly intimidated as her piercing gaze drilled into his own. "I am not weak," She seethed with grit teeth. Her voice was low, calm and deadly as she stared down the tense silver fox.

"Love has done nothing to weaken me. _He_ has done _nothing_ to weaken me. I _will_ prove you wrong, I have not lost my competitive edge and I will do everything possible to defeat every enemy that dares to stand before me!" She ended with a yell, all traces of defeat and sadness had left her. Seijakusenshi watched her for a few minutes and when there were no changes he grinned wickedly. "I know you will, Saita. You are _my_ wielder after all."

"Damn right, you mongrel bastard," She snarled with a smirk and Seijakusenshi's malevolent grin widened further. The silver foxes bushy tail switched back and forth in his excitement. His wielder was back. She had never truly left, but with everything that was happening and changing in her life she was confused and needed someone to bring out her inner anger and challenge her pride. Saita would never let anyone get away with belittling her. He was counting on her volatile nature to bring back that fiery temper and fighter's spirit she was so infamous for from the twitterpated daze she had fallen into.

"Now that issue's settled. Shall we see how rusty you are?" The silver fox spoke in a mischievous tone, making Saita turn to face him, only to see the sly grin he was sending her. She raised a questioning eyebrow as a wicked grin slipped back onto her face. "Why don't we challenge someone worthwhile?" Seijakusenshi suggested in a dark tone. "You're on." She accepted the challenge confidently. "Good," He purred with an evil grin, before Saita closed her eyes in concentration to get back to her physical body.

Saita's eyes snapped open when she felt no numbing pain, only to realize that she was already back in her physical body. "What the hell?" She muttered confused. Suddenly Seijakusenshi vibrated in her hand, as if he were laughing at her. "What's so damn funny?" She snapped holding the sheathed blade at eye level. _'It didn't take much did it?'_ He asked mysteriously still laughing. Saita frowned and tried to think of what he meant. After a minute it came to her and she nodded her head in understanding. "I get it now. Trust huh, how ironic." She grinned before standing up and jumping off the roof to search for a sparring partner.


	23. Chapter 22: Invasion of the Seireitei

Chapter Twenty-Two:

Invasion of Seireitei

"What… the fuck… is going on?" Saita growled lowly to herself as panicked shinigami began to run around like mindless idiots upon hearing the warning. Apparently there were some intruders and whoever they were the higher up were concerned that they had managed to get past all of the blockades. Saita would have loved to tell them just how weak their barriers were, but for her own personal reasons she, for once, kept her mouth firmly shut. There was no good reason for her to give away important secrets over such a small problem. "Damn!" She swore violently scaring a nearby shinigami with no known rank. "And I was having a good day, you bastards!" She hissed vehemently at no one and everyone involved in ruining her day, her search for a good fighting partner discontinued for the time being. "Of all the damn times, why now… fuck!"

Saita wasn't very far from the West Rukongai gate entrance, so she decided to head in that direction, as there was nothing else left for her to do and her search for a sparring partner had come to a grinding halt. "I'll bet three of my paychecks if you can prove to me that Ikkaku is not boozing his ass off right now and Yumichika isn't getting some 'beauty sleep'." Saita murmured in a challenge. _'No one who as ever met them would take that bet, Saita and you know it.'_ Seijakusenshi commented wisely and Saita reluctantly had to agree with the kitsune. "Che! Lazy ass bastards, they're never around when you need them." Saita grumbled as she ran through the now empty streets of Seireitei, hoping she was the first one there. After all someone had to pay for ruining her day and since everyone else had run for their barracks, the intruders were her last option.

Saita skid around the last corner to the gate and somehow ended up bumping into someone, in the last split second she managed to stop herself from falling down by pushing the person she had ran into to the ground and jumping backwards. She heard the person hiss softly when they hit the ground and she looked down only to see the dickless blonde lieutenant of the third division, Kira Izuru. "Great, just my luck to run into this piece of shit." Saita muttered her thoughts aloud with a displeased frown on her face, as she watched the pathetic excuse of a lieutenant picked himself up off the ground.

"Are you alright lieutenant Kira?" Several voices asked and Saita finally took notice that she and the blonde lieutenant weren't the only ones in the middle of the street. _'Oh, fuck…'_ Saita groaned when she caught sight of the disgruntled frown the lieutenant of the ninth division was giving her. The rest of the glaring men didn't bother her, but that scolding look was worse than someone yelling at her. "Yes, I'm alright." The blonde haired man gave a slight smile. Saita thought it looked more like a grimace.

Then unexpectedly the blonde turned and bowed at Saita, his balled up fists shaking at his side. "I'm sorry for running into you, Saita-san." Normally Saita would have just scoffed and said something particularly rude, but Hisagi was still giving her _that_ look. Saita's frown darkened considerably and she shifted her weight around in unease before she found a good footing. "Don't… worry about it lieutenant… was my fault anyways." She muttered, just loud enough for everyone to hear, before briskly brushing past the shocked lieutenant and the rest of the wide eyed shinigami. They hadn't expected her to apologize, as she wasn't well known for her kindness.

Just as she was about to skirt around the dark haired lieutenant, he reached out and grabbed her wrist in a firm, but not harsh restraining grip. "Where are you going Saita-san?" His tone was soft, even and controlled, as Saita's narrowed eyes met his passive ones. "Obviously, where ever the hell I want lieutenant Hisagi." Saita retorted with venom, ignoring the gasps and quiet murmurs of the fellow shinigami about rude she was being to the lieutenants. He knew she didn't like being restrained, but they were under attack and she shouldn't be running around without orders.

"You need to return to your division barracks and wait for further orders, Saita-san." Saita scoffed and smirked wickedly at the lieutenant's attempt at ordering her around and leaned towards the lieutenant, before she reached up and pinched his wrist between her thumb and pointer finger, putting pressure on the blood veins. He abruptly released her in shock and watched on with slightly wider eyes as she raced off towards the west gate where the security walls stood tall. The pressure on his wrist hadn't hurt or done any damage, but her words cut into him like a poison coated blade.

"What are your orders, lieutenant Hisagi? Lieutenant?" The group of shinigami asked looking between the lieutenant and the disrespectful woman, as they watched the blonde haired rebel run away from them. The dark haired lieutenant ignored his subordinates as he let her words sink in. _'Stop trying to protect me Shūhei, I'm not yours to protect anymore…'_ She hadn't said them to be cruel or hurt him, well not really. He knew she said them cruelly to make him get the point and he did. He just wasn't sure if he could truly let her go, like she wanted. If she was with another man and happy, then he was happy for her, but she would always be a part of him as he would be to her, even if she would never admit it. They had far too much history and she knew it.

'_I can't not protect you, Saita… even if you aren't mine anymore… It's just not possible… at least not where you're concerned…'_ The dark haired lieutenant frowned and finally turned to face his questioning subordinates. "We have nothing left to do here. We need to report the situation to the Captains, let's go." He commanded before flash stepping away, Kira and the rest of the shinigami behind him. The dark haired lieutenant had a bad feeling in his gut, which only got worse the farther he traveled away from the west gate. _'Please be careful Saita… and don't do anything too brash.'_

Saita skid to a grinding halt in front of the closed gates with a dark frown on her face. "Shit! Just a few minutes earlier and I would've been able to see what the intruders looked like." She cursed quietly, _'and maybe I would've been able to fight them.'_ Her thoughts finished as a wicked grin curled on her lips and she stepped forward and placed her palms flat on the surface of the gate. "How does this damn thing open anyways?" She asked herself while trying to remember if she had ever come across any old scrolls that spoke about the gate. Being the rule-breaker she was Saita had stolen a few old scrolls in her time and because of that she knew some rather interesting facts. Some of them probably never even saw daylight, before she got a hold of them.

"The walls around the Seireitei are made of… Sekkiseki, a spirit reducing stone… and it negates all Reiryoku… and… and… damn! What the fuck was the rest it? I know I'm missing something!" Saita cursed loudly and twisted away from the wall with her fists clenched, as she tried to recall what she had read from a particular scroll. Studying from text had never been her strong point, a trait that she shared with a certain red-head. The only difference was that he couldn't perform a decent Kidō to save his life, but Saita knew if she actually tried and put some effort into it she could probably do a few decent spells. She just chose the way of the sword over spells, as she was a blade combatant not a spell caster, always had been.

"Che!" Saita ground her teeth and turned to glare at the stone wall blocking her path hatefully. She could hear sounds of fighting and thunderous laughter. She wanted in on the action, but most of all she just wanted to see what the intruders looked like. Why was her day so unlucky? Saita's eyes narrowed as her right hand instinctively reached to grab her zanpakutō, but her hand stilled just inches from the center hilt. "This is bullshit, total bullshit," She growled, before her head and eyes slid to the left. "Why the hell are _you_ here, hebi-Taichō?" Saita asked in a venomous tone, as the captain of the third Division moved into her sight with that creepily annoying grin on his face.

The silver haired shinigami chuckled softly as he neared the glaring blonde. "The real question komusume is why are _you_ here? I was unaware of any orders for the eleventh division to be at the west gate." He commented with a wider grin, as Saita's glare darkened. Only he could openly insult someone and make it seem like a complement, but Saita knew for experience that he hated her existence. She had never heard him actually insult anyone as openly as he did to her. He had always called her a brat, from the very first time they had met and she had called him a slimy snake. From then onwards they had hated each other with a deep passion and she began to openly express her hatred, while he used subtle references.

"I'm here of my own accord, hebi-teme." Saita snapped, as her fingers curled around the center hilt of her zanpakutō. Gin seemed only amused by her anger and insults, but she could tell from the slight drop of his perky grin that he was annoyed with her presence. _'Good,'_ She hissed mentally and forced her hand away from the hilt of her zanpakutō. Disgruntled with the unwanted company Saita lost most of her interest in seeing the intruders and sneered at the silver haired captain before trudging past him, with a good distance between them. She heard the gate slowly begin to rise and ground her teeth together painfully, but didn't spare a glance backwards as she rounded the corner.

Saita returned to her small home in a royally pissed off mood. She slammed open the door and promptly slammed it shut, before she kicked off her boots, which flew through the air and hit her wall leaving two large dents where they hit. "That bastard needs to somewhere, fuck himself and die!" She yelled stomping loudly through her house, before she came to the futon in her living room and collapsed onto the mattress with her face buried in the pillows. _'Calm down Saita, he'll get his one day.'_ Seijakusenshi soothed in a deadly purr, promising the silver haired captains demise, preferably by their fangs. "Yeah, I know… just wish that day was today." Saita murmured softly in a sleepy slur, as she started to drift off to sleep. Saita heard Seijakusenshi hum softly in patient agreement, just before she let sleep take her into its dark embrace.

"Why I gotta get up so damn early, Seijakusenshi?" Saita groaned sleepily as she literally rolled off her futon and landed on the floor with a loud thump. _'Don't ask questions! Just do as I say and do it now!'_ The silver fox barked loudly, which made Saita jump to her feet like she had been shocked. "Alright, alright, I got it already you damn mongrel!" The blonde growled as she stomped over to the front door and collected her shoes while mumbling curses under her breath and forcing her boots onto her feet. After she got her boots on she spared a glance at her reflection in the small mirror and grunted at her appearance.

"I look like shit," She muttered and grabbed a nearby hair band, after raking her fingers through her messy, tangled hair. When she was satisfied with her brushing attempt she quickly snapped the hair band into her hair and made a sloppy bun. _'Stop preening and get your ass moving!'_ The fox growled viciously and Saita quickly exited her house and began running towards the eleventh division barracks, after she made sure that her zanpakutō was on her back. "Alright, you wanna tell my just what the fuck has got you so damn riled up this morning?" Saita demanded with an angry scowl on her face. _"I don't know-'_ Saita scoffed, but didn't comment as the fox continued._ '-but something important is going happen today, I can feel it and you need to be aware of what is happening.'_ He finished in a somewhat calmer tone, but Saita could hear the edge in his voice.

Seijakusenshi was never this on edge, never. He was the calmer of the two, but obviously whatever he felt with his natural instincts was bothering him and if something was bothering the fox, then Saita had a damn good reason to worry. Seijakusenshi was probably the most in tuned to his wild animal nature of all the animal zanpakutō, as he was a feral and his natural instincts helped a lot in battle. Seijakusenshi wasn't as imposing as say an ice dragon, but he didn't need the bulk or the ability of flight. He was a sly fox after all. "Alright, I'll try to stay awake today and keep a wary eye out. Does that make you happy?" Saita half-sarcastically asked, as she neared the center of Seireitei. Saita grinned when she heard the fox snort at her sarcasm.

"Hey, look at this… the lazy brat is actually awake and at work before two o'clock in the evening." Saita heard Ikkaku crow and Yumichika laugh, before she caught sight of the two men lazing about on the porch of the eleventh division captain's barracks. "Shut up old man," The blonde sneered as she plopped down beside Yumichika, who was eying her hair with a displeased frown. "What?" She snapped moodily at the handsome, but eccentric shinigami, as she leaned against the closest pillar, her arms crossed across her chest testily. "Your hair looks like scrambled shit." The shorter man responded bluntly with a frown, while Ikkaku burst out laughing.

"Oh, thank you for noticing, I hadn't a clue I looked like scrambled shit when I walked out of the house this morning!" Saita growled with clenched fists, her short temper already extremely shortened from earlier. "Anyway, aren't you two supposed to be on watch duty today?" She questioned with a glare, hating her inconsiderate zanpakutō more than she did earlier. _'Don't blame me for your poor choice of companions.'_ The fox rebuked airily as Saita began to simmer in her anger. Ikkaku scoffed with a sly grin downing a cup of sake, while Yumichika just waved off her question with a slight downwards turn of his lips. "I'll take that as a yes," Saita grinned devilishly, not feeling sorry for them in the least. She knew them well enough to bet her hard earned money they were going to skip out on their assigned duties. She had learned from the best after all.

"Well, what about you, don't you have an assignment today?" Yumichika asked after a few moments of peaceful silence. Saita yawned loudly and stretched her legs out to their full length. "Not really," She uttered in a neutral tone. "Just felt like gettin' up early for once." She finished softly her eyes sliding closed and her stiff posture relaxing. Yumichika snickered while Ikkaku shook his head. The brat really was a pain in the ass. She was practically dead on her feet, or rather her ass. She should have just slept in, like she always did. The bald man wondered what could have possibly been interesting enough to get her lazy ass up before three in the afternoon. He wasn't going to ask her, for the simple fact that she wouldn't answer as she was already half-asleep.

'_Wake your ass up, Saita!'_ Saita unsteadily jumped to her feet at the sudden piercing yell that echoed through her mind with a no-so-soft twinge of pain. "Alright, alright you bastard!" She growled irritably before she suddenly took off in a dead run, leaving the two older men staring after the blonde haired girl in a bewildered haze. "What… the hell was that?" Ikkaku muttered seconds later, when the blonde was no longer within their sight. "I have no idea." Yumichika replied in a soft wondering tone. That girl really was strange sometimes.

"Kami-sama you're a dick in my ass," Saita bit out through clenched teeth as she maneuvered through the crowded street in a dead run. Running and her ever annoying zanpakutō were the only things that were keeping her awake at the moment. She really wanted to sleep, but every time she even came close to nodding off the bastard mongrel would yell so loud she nearly had an aneurism. Saita heard the fox snort. _'That's very unsanitary and quite disgusting… besides I'm sure that primate would prefer to stick his—'_ Saita skid to a sudden, abrupt and very violent halt. "Stop! Shut up, just shut up you perverted bastard!" She screamed in broiling anger ignoring the odd looks she was receiving from her fellow shinigami.

'_Oh… did I hit a nerve, how careless of me.'_ The fox smirked wickedly, his tone laced with faux innocence. "I swear one day, you _will_ get yours, I'll make sure of it," Saita vowed in a soft, dangerous tone as she began to walk forward as if nothing had happened. Saita heard the fox bastard purr as if pleased about angering his wielder, but forced herself not to retaliate, yet. He was going to get his. She would make absolutely sure of it. She just had to wait for the right moment. Without really thinking, Saita's feet began to lead her to an unknown destination as she tried to force calmness to blanket her boiling anger. She was so very close to snapping and losing all of her common senses and going all hack-and-slash on the nearest being.

'_You're such a sadist Saita,'_ The fox's haunting laugh sent violent shivers down her spine, they were almost unpleasant, almost. "You're one to talk," Saita muttered as her blood began to stir restlessly in her veins, like a swarm of hungry rats. _'It's been so long…'_ Saita sighed as her eyes slowly closed as her fists clenched tightly at her sides. After living so long and shedding the blood of hollows on almost an everyday occurrence, she began to crave the thrill, the pure adrenaline rush it gave her. She loved to battle fierce opponents, to shed their blood and to come out of the battle victorious. She was a trained killer. There was no other word for it. That's what shinigami were, it was even in their namesake. They were soul _reapers_. They were reapers of the dead and somewhat protectors of the living.

Saita hadn't wandered around for very long, possibly twenty minutes give or take a few odd minutes, before she suddenly overheard the last part of a soft conversation that made her stop dead in her tracks. Her head snapped towards a small group of unseated female shinigami so fast she should have broken her neck. Within seconds she was standing in front of a skinny, pale brunette haired girl, the girl's robe clenched tightly in her fist. "Repeat that," Saita ordered coldly as the scared girl whimpered in her vicious hold. The pathetic lump of breathing flesh stuttered out something completely incoherent and Saita growled. "Speak up and speak clearly!" Saita shook the girl harshly with a sneer.

"I-I heard f-from one of the sixth division guys that-that… Kuchiki Rukia-san was-was going to be e-executed and that the date w-was moved up," The girl whimpered as Saita's grip tightened further around her robes and her feet left the ground. "When is the execution date now?" Saita barked. She wasn't necessarily worried about the Kuchiki brat and she wasn't an expert on the laws, but for someone to be executed over something so small was just ridiculous. If the rules were that strict then Saita would have been executed a long, long time ago. Something was wrong, very wrong. The nameless brunette haired girl whimpered at the hostile tone and grip.

"I-it's less than fourteen days from now and the use of the Sōkyoku has been approved!" The girl cried out in pain and shock when she sudden hit the ground, when Saita dropped the girl out of shock, her hazel-blue eyes wide and her jaw slack. "No fucking way…" She breathed, before suddenly bolting off towards the sixth division barracks, only one person on her mind. "Renji…" She whispered softly as she shoved past many bystanders without even acknowledging their presence. Saita wanted to know just what the hell the Central 46 bastards were thinking and why was such strict punishment being dealt out over such a small matter.

'_Is this what I felt… or is something else…?'_ The fox silently wondered to himself thoughtfully, as his blonde haired wielder raced off to confront the red-haired primate. Somehow the silver fox felt that the intruders and the sudden change of execution date for the Kuchiki brat was just the tip of the invisible iceberg headed their way. Seijakusenshi had a feeling that things in the Seireitei were going to get a hell of a lot worse and very soon. He just didn't know if everyone would come out alive at the end of things. He could smell the swiftly approaching battle and death as it hung heavily in the air.


	24. Chapter 23: Changing Course

_**Chapter Twenty-Three:**_

_**Changing Course**_

Stealth was not a talent Saita possessed to any degree; the problem was only made worse by her lack of control over her reiatsu. Unfortunately for her, it was an ability she was in dire need of as she tried to sneak closer to the Senzaikyū, a large white tower located at the center of the Seireitei and Sōkyoku Hill, without getting caught or noticed. By the time Saita had reached the sixth division barracks the prisoner, Rukia Kuchiki had already been moved, much to Saita's annoyance. Her luck was nonexistent, she fully acknowledged when she had a rather unpleasant run-in with the stoic noble Captain while she was questioning a lower ranked officer about his Lieutenant's whereabouts and the prisoner's. The aristocrat was actually quite displeased with Saita's presence and pestering, a fact which she caused and seen for herself. It was barely noticeable and if Saita had been a normal shinigami she wouldn't have even noticed his ire, but since she was basically a breathing bomb of unstable anger and all other raw emotions, she saw his apathetic eyes narrow and the frown that twitched at his thin lips.

Least to say, Saita walked out of the barracks with a wide pompous smirk of pure wickedness on her face. Truly she was happy to disturb the noble in any way possible, though she bit back a retort about him letting his "sister" be executed without so much as a blink. While Saita was always open to a fight of any nature, she did not have a death wish and to say such thoughts aloud would have been nothing short of suicidal. Saita huffed loudly and glared at the indifferent white wall in front of her. "What the hell am _I_ even doing here?" She asked herself quietly, angrily but didn't stop her cautious approach to the holding cell at the top of the tower. "It's not like she means anything to me. I couldn't care any less if she had murdered someone, let alone made some human into a shinigami." Saita scoffed and abruptly stopped her progression. She had fully intended to turn and leave, but something stopped her dead in her tracks. _'It's not her you want to see, to comfort… it's him.'_ A voice that sounded a lot like the meddlesome bastard fox and Niito-baka whispered into her mind. Saita's glare intensified tenfold before she suddenly turned back around and stomped up the stairs cursing the two vehemently under her breath the whole way, no longer worried about being seen.

By the time Saita reached the top she had cooled down a small margin, but she was still visibly angry. The scene that greeted her however instantly doused her raging anger like a bucket of ice water over a fire. _'Renji,'_ The poor sap looked rather worse for the wear in Saita's eyes and lost. Obviously Rukia Kuchiki's predicament had him confused about what direction to take. If the dark haired girl had been a friend of Saita's, she would have already done something about the ludicrous execution, the rules of the Seireitei be damned, but that was just Saita's way of doing things. "You brought her here by yourself, of your own will." Saita stated when the stiff lieutenant was within hearing distance. Renji gave a stiff noncommittal nod as he brushed past her unable be within the vicinity of the tower any longer. Saita silently followed after him making sure to not crowd him in any way. "You gonna continue giving me the cold shoulder or are you gonna talk about it?" Saita asked when they were far enough away. "Do you even _want_ to talk about it?" She asked when he made no sign of acknowledging what she had previously said. Renji abruptly stopped walking as soon as the words left the blonde's mouth. Saita observed the redhead for a moment before she sighed heavily and shook her head.

"You're gonna break your fingers if you keep clenching your fists like that." She announced in a normal, calm tone when she reached out to grab his plaster white knuckles and gently pry them loose. Surprisingly he let her, though it didn't get pass Saita's notice that Renji's body went rigid upon her touch. "You don't have to talk to me about your problems," Saita's calm eyes pierced through narrowed, confused brown as she spoke. "And I know that I'm the last person you probably want to talk to about _her_, but I am here if you need someone to listen." Saita was just as shocked as Renji when there was no subtle or blunt malice directed towards the mentioned female. What surprised the blonde more was her allover calmness and selflessly offered kindness during the whole situation. "Take care of yourself, Lieutenant Abarai." Saita gave him a small crooked smile and let go of his now unclenched hands before she turned and walked away with her hands stuffed lazily in her pockets.

"Lieutenant… Abarai," Renji mumbled to himself in confusion as he watched the blonde calmly walk away, almost like it was a normal everyday occurrence for her to be so easygoing. In all of his life she had never, even after they started their relationship had she ever called him by his title. She had a well known issue with authority and as far as he knew never actually called anyone by their title. He wondered if she had been drinking earlier that morning or something, because she was acting so unlike her normal cranky, brash, self-destructive self. _'Should I be worried about her mental state?'_ He wondered silently to himself, but thought it better to just let her be for now. Whatever was going on with her didn't appear harmful to anyone, even herself, at the moment. "I'll never understand her," He sighed tiredly and shook his head not knowing whether he should go after her or not, as it might ruin her good mood, if that was even what it was. Unfortunately even Saita's unusual behavior couldn't deter his thoughts or his duties.

As soon as Saita was sure Renji or anyone else who happened to be around couldn't see her, she sank to the ground with a heavy sigh, her legs no longer able to hold her weight. "This sucks," She muttered as she pulled her legs close to her chest and propped her head in-between her knees. _'You did the honorable thing… for once,'_ Seijakusenshi actually sounded somewhat hesitant before he continued his sentence. _'I'm… proud of you.'_ He finally admitted with an under twang of anger at having to admit such a thing aloud. "Shut up fox," Saita grumbled softly, instinctively pulling her legs closer to her body defensively. _'You do realize that if the Kuchiki girl gets executed he'll never forgive himself or let himself care for another, even you.'_ Saita's form instantly stiffened, before her shoulders dropped in defeat. _'I know, but, he'll still love her even if she is somehow saved...' _

Saita's head slowly rose from her knees at the sudden realization, a look of solid resolution in her wide blue eyes. _'Saita this is not a good idea.'_ The fox warned with a snarl. He was more worried if Saita had finally snapped and lost all of her common sense than actually angry. "Shut up. I already know it's a dumbass plan, but I'm doing it anyway." Saita bit back tersely, yet she was still somehow as calm as she was moments before even though she was going to do something that could get her in the same predicament as Rukia Kuchiki was. _'You've lost your damned mind,'_ Seijakusenshi snapped back like a caged animal tearing furiously at the bars of its cage. "I _am_ doing this whether you agree or not so just trust me or shut up," Saita ordered in a cold tone which seemed to shock the fox into silence and quell his anger. _'If you do this and it goes bad even the scar faced lieutenant and the annoying motherly captain won't be able to save you.'_ Seijakusenshi warned now calmer but still noticeably perturbed by Saita's choice of action.

"That may be so, but I don't need them to save me. I'm not a child." Saita replied. She had already made up her mind, now all she had to do was find the intruders when or if they made it pass the gate. She was going to give them twenty-four hours before she made the first move which would no doubt ruin everything she had literally fought so hard to accomplish. "Now I just need to figure out where they're more likely to break through at." Saita muttered under her breath as she surveyed the white walls with narrowed eyes. An hour and a half of thought and multiple horribly made plans later Saita decided that her best option was to wait for them to make the first move before she did anything. If they were as determined as they seemed then she wouldn't have to wait long. For now she knew she needed to rest since she might not get the chance anytime soon after it started. That evening Saita didn't rest easy as nightmares plagued her relentlessly, but somehow she barely managed to get enough rest.

When Saita woke next she took her time showering and eating. Already she was beginning to have second thoughts of her next actions, but she shrugged them off and took a short twenty minute training break before she headed towards the gate. When she was within two miles of the gate she perched herself on the most comfortable roof she could find and waited. Saita was unsure of to how long she sat waiting for something, anything to happen but by the time it did happen she had gone from calm to bored, and from bored to pissed off and annoyed. "Finally, about damn time they decided to make a move," Saita growled and stood from her seated position to watch as what looked like a giant cannonball made of spirit energy attempted to rip through the gate's barrier. "Fireworks?" Saita questioned aloud wondering if she should actually go through with her plan or not but smirked when the spiritual energy cannonball actually managed to rip through the Soul Shield membrane, or Shakonmaku Saita had forgotten was there. Saita's elation didn't last long because as soon as they made contact with the barrier the cannonball burst and sent five 'energy meteorites' crashing to the ground, all of them in separate directions.

"Now that's just fucked up," Saita commented with a displeased frown but gave a half grin when one of the meteorites started to descend towards her location. Saita watched as the bright ball of energy began to give off an odd gold aura and veered off to her right where it crashed. "I wonder what my chances of finding a dead human are," Saita wondered aloud as she jumped from rooftop to rooftop. _'Seventy to thirty, I'll bet.'_ The fox spoke up without as much as a single hint of sorrow for the possibly dead intruder. Saita grinned and placed her bet. "I'll say one hundred percent alive." The fox snorted. _'Of course you'd say that. After all your plans can't work if they're all dead.'_ Saita laughed and agreed with the silver fox. "This is where it landed, now where is the body?" She murmured aloud inspecting the decent sized smoking crater in the ground. _'I can't sense anyone damn it!'_ Saita's jaw clenched and she began to search the surrounding area. _'If they're alive they can certainly sense you.'_ The fox commented. His voice sounded on edge and slightly worried but Saita ignored his very true statement.

"Well I guess it's true what they say. Everyone _does_ have a twin somewhere. How unfortunate that mine has a horrendous taste in fashion." A young female voice commented dryly with a hint of sarcasm from behind her. Saita whirled around on her heel, her katana drawn and ready for an attack. But when she caught sight of the speaker her jaw literally dropped. "What the fuck?" Saita exclaimed loudly and the girl frowned at the loudness of Saita's voice and her colorful use of words. "_And_ to top it all off my twin is a foul mouthed she-male, how pleasant." The girl commented purposely loud enough for Saita to hear. "Shut up midget!" Saita bit back angrily but the girl who was in fact truly almost her identical twin just gave a wicked smirk and a short laugh. "So what if we mostly look the same," The girl shrugged carelessly as she leaned casually against the raised edge of the rooftop. "Clearly there are significant differences between us." Saita raised an eyebrow at the shorter girl as her cynical gaze roamed over Saita's body in an almost disinterested and bored manner.

"For starters, my eyes are more blue than gray, while yours are more gray than blue _and_ I wouldn't be caught dead wearing those God-awful clunky-ass Dr. Marten rip-off boots." The girl stated in a disgusted tone when she caught sight of Saita's shoes. "What the hell is wrong with my boots?" Saita yelled back angry that the kid had the nerve to openly insult her as if she were nothing but a stray dog. "Everything is wrong with those things. They need to be thrown into an incinerator." The girl stated airily but with a subtle wistful tone. "Back to my analysis," The girl suddenly stated in a happier tone, before it instantly fell from her face. "Is all that hardware necessary, really? Seriously those bike chains must weigh a ton, not to mention they're not in style anymore. Try something smaller, a leather studded wrist wrap or two would do. You can keep the half-assed 'punk' look you got going on, but for God's sake get rid of the boots and all the hardware." The girl advised before she suddenly spotted Saita's drawn katana.

"What in God's name is that?" She asked skeptically with a raised eyebrow. Saita was momentarily at a loss for words. "It's my zanpakutō, what else would it be?" Saita asked in a soft yell after she managed to collect herself. The girl started at her blankly for a few moments before she snorted and began to laugh as if Saita had told an incredibly funny joke. "Are you serious? You can't be serious," The girl managed to say through her laughter. "What the hell is so damn funny?" Saita asked in a low growl. The girl continued to laugh but when she realized it wasn't a joke she started to stifle her laughter. "I'm sorry," The girl apologized but Saita felt like it was insincere. The girl burst out into another fit of laughter before she calmed and elaborated. "Sorry, for a few moments I thought you were joking because you katana looks like it came from a junk pile." The girl smiled barely withholding another bout of laughter which was seriously pissing of Saita to no end. "I mean seriously, it looks like it's been dipped in cheap black paint and wrapped with crusty old leather. Not to mention the odd bow like shape. Is it your zanpakutō's shikai?"

Saita's eyebrow twitched violently. The girl was smiling apologetically and acting as casual as she pleased, which only served to piss Saita off even further. "No! This isn't my fucking shikai you breast-less twit. My zanpakutō always looked like this!" Saita yelled before she rushed at the shorter blonde in an attempt to intimidate and accidentally, completely on purpose hurt her. The girl just gave a forced smile and disappeared not a second later Saita heard a whistle and the girl's voice speak up from behind her. "Over here she-male, and just for your information, my breasts are a comfortable B-cup." Saita turned as saw the girl standing on the edge of the rooftop. "Che, so you know how shunpo. I'm not impressed." Saita stated and slowly turned to face the still smiling girl whose fingertips were caressing the hilt of her sheathed katana. The girl shrugged and gave a partial bow but her blue eyes didn't leave Saita for a moment. "I'm Carlson Fern and it's nice to meet your acquaintance." Saita shifted her weight and raised herself to her full height. "You're named after a plant." Saita stated unimpressed. Fern laughed and cocked her head to the side observing the taller violent blonde. "Saita," The taller blonde grunted and Fern nodded her head with a small smile.

Saita sheathed her zanpakutō and started to observe the smaller blonde. The girl was short compared to Saita's own height, standing about five foot five inches tall, with mid back length blonde hair a few shades lighter than Saita's own and it was tired in a French braid. Saita couldn't tell what he body shape was due to the shinigami robes the girl was wearing, but figured she was neither too skinny nor too fat. "Why are you here anyway shinigami?" Fern asked in calmer more serious tone. "If you want to fight that's fine, but I'd really rather not. I'm kind of in a hurry you see." Fern explained easily, confidently. "Doesn't seem like it if you can stand around plucking whiskers off a cat." Saita retorted. "Yeah well, I couldn't help but tease you a bit. I mean you are almost my identical twin." Fern said with shrug. "We are _not_ twins as you so bluntly stated earlier." Saita bit back annoyed at having such an annoying person look a lot like her and vice versa.

"I was waiting for you and your companions to show up, but they fell elsewhere so now I'm stuck with you, lucky me." Saita rolled her eyes, before continuing. "You want to save Kuchiki Rukia right?" Saita asked waiting for the girl to respond. When she did with a silent nod, Saita continued. "Since that's the case I've decided to help you, don't ask why because it's my business and mine alone." Fern blinked but accepted Saita's terms. "Lead the way then Saita." Fern motioned and walked up to the taller scowling blonde. "I trust you have a plan?" She than asked and Saita stiffened. "Not exactly," She admitted and ignored the blank look her shorter doppelganger sent her. "I think I could pretty much just walk you through the Seireitei and we wouldn't get noticed. Everyone is looking for you and your friends, but if you're with me it should be simple enough as long as we have a backup plan if we get caught." Saita said and glanced down to her side to see Fern looking up at her with a confident expression.

"You mean I have to pretend to be part of a squad and if someone asks make the story believable." Fern stated aloud while tossing the idea around in her head. "Alright, which squad are you in?" Fern then asked. Saita grinned and stuffed her hands in her pockets. "I'm in the eleventh and the fourth seat, but since I'm the only female, besides the lieutenant, you can't be in it. They'd know it was a lie as soon as the words left your mouth." Fern gave the taller blonde and appraising glance, not having actually thought someone who had no control of their spiritual energy would actually have such a high position. "So which squad should I say I'm in if I'm questioned?" Fern asked slightly impatient. Saita scratched the back of her head with a twitching frown. "I don't know," She muttered. Most of the Captain's were old but they were diligent about knowing their own squad members or making their lieutenants remember and anyone would remember a shorter version of Saita running around.

"Well shit," Saita cursed aloud and dropped her hand. "Just follow me. We'll take the safest route." Saita stated and stomped off not really caring if the doppelganger was following her or not. Fern frowned and crossed her arms over her chest, her pointer finger tapping impatiently on her bicep. "So let me get this straight," She started in a cool tone. "You're just pulling everything out of your ass as you go along." Saita stiffened and turned her head so she could see the smaller girl. "_Basically_," She said in a snarky tone that didn't even faze the smaller girl. Fern grunted and shoved past Saita muttering something about 'some useless baggage she'd managed to pick up'. "What did you say? I dare you to say it to my face!" Saita called after the girl, but she just began to flicker in and out of sight steadily getting farther and farther ahead of Saita. "Brat, _I'm_ supposed to be leading _you_!" Saita yelled and began to chase after the girl, her hands were itching to circle around her skinny neck and squeeze. _'Fight the impulses, fight the impulses,'_ Saita began to repeat the words like a mantra over and over in her head. "I'm gonna kill this kid!" Saita growled when the girl disappeared around a corner and left Saita behind without so much as a clue as to where she was going.


	25. Chapter 24: Awkward and Invasive

**_A/N:_** Please note the chapter title, this should give you some vague **warning that this chapter has light mentions, discussions of sex and oral**. It's not really descriptive, just explanatory, so don't freak out if you're squeamish over something like that, even if it's light. Honestly I would barely classify what I have written as 'teen', considering the world we live in today, but just in case I put the warning. And yes I am taking my time with these chapters, because I want Saita and Fern to get to know eachother, but don't worry battles are comming soon.

Take care,

- SugarLandBabyGirl

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Four:

Awkward and Invasive

Saita had to begrudgingly admit two things about the short blonde: she was incredibly fast, and stealthy. There wasn't even a trace of her spiritual pressure in the air and if Saita wasn't currently glaring daggers at the girl's back she would not have even known that the girl even existed. Suddenly Fern stopped and her head snapped to her left. Her gaze was narrowed and Saita could have sworn apprehension flickered in her eyes, before she abruptly turned and walked on, a quiet murmur on her lips. "Be careful, Ichigo."

Saita cocked her head to the side in curiosity. If her hearing wasn't seriously starting to fail her, then Saita detected a hint of sadness, and something akin to longing in the younger teens' tone. "Say, you got someone you care about out there somewhere, shorty?" Saita asked hesitantly as she slid up beside the quiet blonde. Fern visibly stiffened and cast a cool side glance up at Saita, before she turned her attention back to the dirt bath in front of her. When Fern didn't answer for several minutes, Saita shrugged her shoulders and decided to drop that particular subject.

"He's a friend," Fern unexpectedly spoke up after almost five full minutes of quiet. Saita momentarily paused in surprise, but when Fern didn't even bat an eyelash Saita moved up to stand beside the contemplative blonde. "We're not especially close, but circumstances have made me… protective of him. I do love him, but not in a sexual way… he's more of a brotherly best friend." She finished and Saita nervously scratched at the back of her neck, trying to think of something to say. These situations were awkward as hell.

"If he's the guy who fought Kuchiki Byakuya and lived after being stabbed, then I seriously doubt he'll be beaten so easily. Most of the shinigami here are worthless chumps, believe me, I've kicked most of their asses, several times actually." Saita grinned in an attempt to encourage the smaller girl, but when Fern's lips thinned into a frown Saita nearly punched herself for her stupidity. Saita sighed loudly, which turned into a slight growl before she attempted to amend her mess-up. "Ya know, I give shitty advice so don' listen to me," Saita groused with a grunt and Fern's frown turned into a humored smirk-smile.

"Yeah, you do, but I appreciate it nonetheless." Saita grunted again, stuffed her hands into her pockets and turned away from the grinning teenager to hide her slight blush. _'Stupid kid, makin' me all uncomfortable and shit,'_ Saita mentally complained halfheartedly. The kid was actually all right, if not a bit of a pain in the ass, but somehow that attitude made Saita recognize that there was a small similarity between them. _'It's too bad she's so much shorter than me, if she grew a little then I might actually feel a bit intimidated.'_ Saita smirked widely at the prospect of actually having a friendly, yet powerful and composed rival of the same gender.

'_I wonder what makes her tick, though. She's distracted, concerned about her friends even though she appears so controlled and playful.' _Saita frowned and began to study her companion closer. _'She's determined to accomplish their mission… without any unnecessary loss of life on either side. But from her reactions earlier, it's safe to assume that she would not hesitate to kill any enemy if that was the only option left.'_ Seijakusenshi commented in an almost bored tone, but Saita caught the deadly undertone he was trying to hide.

'_You want to fight her… and her Zanpakutō.'_ Saita commented with a nod of understanding. The fox grunted and made a strange growling purr that Saita had never heard before. _'Strangely I cannot sense him either, but I know he'll be a strong opponent… he is even better than Zabimaru.'_ Saita hummed softly in acknowledgement. "You know, you do slightly resemble someone I know. I just can't remember who at the moment." Saita spoke up suddenly and so unexpectedly that Fern paused and turned to look at the taller blonde. "It's true," Saita quickly defended herself with a sour frown that dared the younger girl to give a smartass retort.

"Well, if you remember do let me know. I'm curious to see what the next doppelganger is like." Fern smiled, holding back a laugh. "Oh, just shut up." Saita growled with a narrow eyed glare. Fern however wasn't fazed in the least and just flashed another smile before carrying on her merry way. Saita noticed that the tenseness in her shoulders was beginning to fade the longer she was there in the Soul Society. It was strange, but Saita couldn't help but notice how well Fern would fit in with the rest of the Shinigami, if she weren't trying to rescue the Kuchiki brat. "Ya know, I wouldn't actually mind fightin' you some time or another." Saita mumbled loud enough for Fern to hear her without trying to sound too eager.

"You want to fight me," Fern repeated with a soft tone Saita couldn't gauge any specific emotion from. "Why?" Fern then asked in a curious tone. Saita was taken aback by the simple question, but before she could answer Fern continued. "Do you like to fight simply for the thrill of it, or maybe you want to get stronger than anyone else. But answer me this: If you were the strongest fighter, what would you do after you've reached the top and there are no more rivals to defeat?" Saita paused momentarily and fell into a deep thoughtful silence as she pondered the younger girl's words. "You're a shrewd brat ya know that?" Saita returned snarky instead of actually answering. Honestly she had no really good answer to that question. _What_ would she do if she reached the top?

Fern's shoulders shook and she actually laughed aloud; a mouth wide open, straight pearly white teeth showing laugh. "What's so damn funny?" Saita hissed half-defensively, half-angrily. Fern covered her smile with her hand in a strangely delicate motion that surprised the taller blonde. "You," Fern replied simply as she rolled her eyes. Saita frowned, her brow crinkling in confusion. "Me? What'd I do?" Fern began to laugh again at the barrage of questions the taller blonde haired girl was shooting at her. "Rapid fire much?" The shorter blonde murmured to herself but Saita heard her clearly since they were so close. "Rapid… fire," Saita questioned confused. The kid was strange. It was hard to get a good grasp of her true intentions or feelings. She was well guarded if nothing else and layered up like an onion to boot.

"It's nothing seriously. Forget it. You'll lose precious brain cells if you think on it too hard." Fern's tone was humored yet serious in a secretive kind of way that Saita wasn't completely comfortable with. Saita growled and angrily stuffed her hands back into her pockets, mentally cursing the short blonde to the fieriest pits in hell. "Speaking of fighting," Fern began slowly, catching Saita's attention. "If we're spotted and I'm identified as the enemy, what will you do then?" Saita frowned catching a strange undertone in her voice. "Eh, well… we could always fight our way through." Fern frowned at the loose answer. "That's not what I meant." Fern's tone touched on frustrated. "If you're spotted with me, an intruder, what will you do?" Fern asked again and Saita paused, finally catching on to what she was getting at in not-so-many words.

Saita's eye flickered up to the clear blue sky. There was no use in purposely overlooking the inevitable truth of the matter. "Well, if I'm caught then I'll be imprisoned and probably beheaded after this is over, whether you and your friends win or lose." Fern's expression darkened, but it didn't hit her as hard as it could have. She had already known that the punishment for aiding the enemy would be severe, but that still didn't dull the sting of the truth. "Honestly it doesn't really doesn't matter one fucking bit," Saita's gaze was still skyward as she spoke. Her words were detached and careless, but Fern caught the hidden undertone as she spoke the last sentence. "I've already lost what I'm fighting for." Saita finally dropped her gaze and caught her companions. "Don't pity me." The taller of the two reproached calmly. "I did this to myself, for myself."

Fern held her gaze for several long tense moments, before she blinked and nodded stiffly in understanding. "So, do you have a boyfriend or a lover back in the Living World?" Saita casually asked wanting to obliterate the ice that had silently caked its way back into their midst. Fern let out a chocking noise and Saita grinned predatorily sensing a weak point. Fern swiftly turned her confused and irate gaze on the taller girl. "What? No, _no_. I don't have either." Saita caught the defensive tone and chuckled evilly under her breath. This girl was ripe with juicy information, now all she had to do was dig her fangs and claws in deeper to find the good stuff. "I find that hard to believe. You have the personality of someone who's gone all the way more than once, if you get my drift."

Fern complexion paled and her expression darkened in shock. Saita laughed loudly, baring her teeth in a scary smile. "So, who popped your cherry?" She asked harassingly and Fern closed up like an unhappy clam. That however did not deter Saita's curiosity, it only fueled it. "Was it with your first love in the back of a truck or car?" When there was no response except for an irritated eye twitch, Saita moved on. "Did you get drunk and just have an accident with a friend or acquaintance?" Fern stiffened and made a subtle misstep. _'Gotcha,'_ Saita's grin widened to epic proportions and her eyes narrowed in delight. "C'mon shorty I want details, details." Saita urged and poked the short blonde on her now flushed cheek. "Stop," Fern commanded in a frosty tone, her stony gaze set on the path in front of her.

"Not until you answer. I'm just _dying_ to know." Saita continued to poke Fern's face, unfazed by her cold tone and unwelcoming mannerisms. This was entertainment. Saita grinned. Yeah, she was being a nosy bitch on purpose. But it wasn't everyday she got to annoy a shinigami hybrid or whatever Fern was. It was also keeping Fern from asking about her intentions, which was exactly what the shorter blonde was going to do, before Saita starting asking personal questions of her own. Sooner or later the short blonde would cave and Saita had all the time in the world, for now. "You are invasive, annoying and shameless." Fern ground out through clenched teeth. Saita threw her head back and laughed. "Yeah, I am, among many other things. But at least I'm not pretending to be a prudish goody two-shoes, which I know you're not. A goody two-shoes, yeah you are, partially. But you're not a prude."

"You sound so sure of yourself." Fern's tone was still dark and uninviting, but Saita knew she was getting closer to the core. It would only be a waste to stop now. Fern was trying to avoid Saita's gaze and she was doing a damn good job of it so-far. Saita stepped in front of the shorter blonde, stopping her in her tracks and gave a smug smirk. "Did you love him or was he just a good one-time fuck buddy?" Saita cruelly asked. Fern's expression went shockingly blank, before Saita suddenly found herself kissing dirt with a bloody lip and an already bruising jaw. "Fuck that hurt!" Saita cursed with a laugh as she wiped the blood running down her chin off with the back of her hand. Fern had punched the hell out of her, not an offensive girly slap, but a real jaw-breaking punch.

"You damn sure tried to break my jaw, didn' ya." Saita stated with a bloody grin as she pulled herself up off the ground. Fern's expression was as threatening as a thunder cloud as she started down the taller girl. "You held back though, just before your knuckles connected." She continued, her grin slowly dying on her lips due to the pain. _'If she hadn't held back then you'd have more than just a broken jaw, Saita and you know it.'_ Seijakusenshi commented knowingly and Saita dipped her head in acknowledgement. _'Yeah, I'd be missing a few teeth too and she probably could have broken my nose with that much force.' _"I'm impressed, but I won't apologize." Saita announced cockily. A thin, delicately arched eyebrow rose in question at Saita's stupidity.

Fern's defensive stance shifted into casual, but her expression didn't soften. "His name is Thomas Gardner, and he isn't exactly a friend, more of a friendly acquaintance. We weren't drunk, just curious at the time, and horny. We had sex five times before we parted on good terms, neither of us wanting to be just fuck buddies." Fern's expression was stern and Saita couldn't catch any hint of a lie. "So you didn't love him?" Saita asked with a slight curious tilt of her head. "Love comes in many forms. I may have loved him, still do to a degree, but I wasn't in love with him and he felt the same about me." Fern answered simply. Saita cracked her stiff neck and threw her gaze to the side. "What was it like, your first time?" She then asked. It was then that Fern's expression softened in understanding. "I think it's different for everyone." Fern sighed, her gaze drifting to a crack in the wall. "For me, it was awkward and I felt vulnerable."

Saita's head snapped up. Fern's head drifted over and their gazes met. "I enjoyed what we were doing, but giving yourself so wholly to someone like that is an important decision you shouldn't take lightly." Fern blinked slowly, as if memories were swamping her mind. "He was a good partner, a respectable guy, but I regret my first time being with him because if I ever meet a man that I want to give my whole being to, I won't be able, because someone else has taken it." Fern's eyes showed her regret and seemed to say. _'Do you understand now?'_ Saita inhaled deeply, Fern's words rolling around in her head a full speed. _'Yeah, I do understand, I understand perfectly.'_ Saita had always wondered why she hadn't slept with her ex despite all the times she could have and now she knew. Fern had learned that lesson the hard way. Saita still wasn't going to apologize and Fern seemed to be expecting nothing of the sort, so with a silent glance between the two they turned towards their destination each with a different, better view of their companion.

"How long does it take to reach that tower?" Fern asked almost an hour later, after the air had been cleared between them, so to speak. Saita grunted at having to be reminded of their destination. "A couple days if you don't want to get caught," She answered grumpily. "You're lying," Fern protested in mild shock. Saita shot her a look. "Am I?" She asked in a deadpan tone. Fern's nose crinkled and she slouched in a similar manner as Saita. "That's ridiculous," She muttered disbelievingly under her breath. "Yeah, tell me about it." Saita drawled in a bored tone and without either of them noticing it, they crossed their arms and sighed at the same time. "Gods this sucks," Fern announced and Saita grunted in agreement.

"Don't hate it yet, if we keep going in this direction then we're bound to run into somebody of rank." Fern groaned and shot Saita a dirty look at the unwanted reminder. "Go suck someone's dick," Fern returned nastily. Saita's head turned and her eyes shimmered mischievously and Fern suddenly wished that she could take back her angry words. "Speaking of sucking dick, did you ever do that with ole what's-his-name during foreplay?" Fern's posture straightened and her pace quickened. "C'mon, educate me on these things." Saita sing-songed as she easily matched her companion's stride, her grin was a little less evil and more playful than the one's before. "Shut up or I really will break your jaw." Fern threatened and Saita laughed at the less aggressive tone. "Ow, fuck!" Saita hissed, cringing from the pain in her jaw. Fern smirked at the idiocy of the taller blonde and slowed her pace, since justice had been rightly served.


End file.
